I recently sent an email to someone with questions I had about certain events that had transpired concerning an organization we both supported. I was stunned when a return e-mail brought a response that was totally unexpected.
More e-mails went back and forth, but nothing seemed to bring any clarity, they just made the situation worse. Finally, the uneasiness within me sent up a red flag, which was a distinct signal that any hope of clear communication was not possible in the current circumstances.
That didn’t feel good. Several days later I attended an event at a local spiritual center and much to my surprise the topic of the spiritual leader’s remarks was “Open Communication.”
She indicated that from early childhood, not only are we not taught how to communicate openly, we are taught that it’s usually better or wiser to keep quiet. So, we grow up, go out into the world, get married and wonder what is happening in our lives.
Leading off her list of major deterrents to open communication are our own built-in filters through which we communicate with others and expect them to respond honestly and clearly. Naturally, others have their own built-in filters, which they also expect us to be aware of and respect, making miscommunication inevitable.
This then brings up the no-win situation of the need to be right, and the familiar and non-productive “You said,”—“No, you said” in order to justify our position.
The spiritual leader said that while it is always appropriate to speak our truth, the important thing is to connect with another human being, and to do so without bringing the conversation to the Fatal Point—where you have eventually beaten the other person down and they give up. In this scenario, both parties are cheated of the desired goal, which is to leave both parties energized and feeling connected on a positive level.
The last element in open communication has to do with cause and effect and the fact that what we say about another or an event creates energy that will come back to us. If we put someone down for their intellectual capacity, this will result in a lessening of ours. Similarly, if we castigate someone for their lack of spiritual awareness, we lower our own.
If we blame others for our inability to openly communicate with them in a positive way, we will be arguing for our limitations and they will remain ours. We will also continue to have communication challenges in every area of our lives.
If we truly seek to be conscious and aware human beings, we will welcome the opportunity presented by such frustrating situations, and seek to learn from them. We will take the time to become aware of our own filters, be open to learning about the filters of others, and to act accordingly.
I followed this wise woman’s advice to halt the non-productive cycle. I sent an e-mail with a 24-pt. headline of red hearts and music notes and the following message: What we evidently have here is a miscommunication. Sorry and Love. Let’s move on past this. We have the same goal.
I felt better immediately.
_________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Are You a "Helicopter" Parent?
In a recent conversation with a friend, I mentioned that my intention at this stage of my life is to be a loving, benevolent bystander where my adult children and older grandchildren are concerned. I would be there with them and for them as mutually desired or needed. The rest of the time I would leave them alone to pursue their own lives, as I would mine. She immediately came back with the comment, “I want to be more lovingly involved.” At the time, I realized that was understandable because she still has teenage children at home.
Later, what bothered me about her comment was my sense that she might have thought my decision was insensitive and uncaring. That couldn’t be further from the truth. My comment was based on long life experience, and knowing that all human beings have within them the awareness of what is right for them. And parents and grandparents have no right to interfere with that, even though it may take a while for the younger generation to sort out their lives.
I was also talking about the time when our children and their children have reached adulthood and are on their own. I fully realize that during the earlier years, there is a much greater level of involvement that is necessary, natural and desired.
When the natural maturation process pulls young adults to follow their own paths, however, this is healthy and desired. This is what parenting is all about, guiding them to this stage and then letting them fly from the nest.
Yet it can also be a scary time for many parents and grandparents, and I can relate to that. After being needed for so long, the fear or concern is that we will lose our connection with them, and we better do something fast.
What often happens is that there is an attempt, well meant but ill-advised, to become what Dr. Wayne Dyer calls “helicopter parents,” parents who hover over our children and grandchildren. In this way, we hope to either financially, emotionally—or both—secure the tie that binds. But the truth is, while it may feel good to us, it may cripple them.
I tried this approach for a very short time with some of my loved ones, but fortunately they were way ahead of me and would allow none of it. They had already followed the natural course and released me—which is a hard but necessary lesson to learn.
Now that I have been through this a few times, I can attest to the high level of love and wisdom it takes for parents and grandparents to love and release their beloveds to life. I can similarly attest to the courage and commitment it takes to quell the urge to rescue them or to try to be the super parent or grandparent for ego reasons. My hard-earned advice for those tempted by the helicopter syndrome is to immediately turn that thought, and energy, toward enhancing your own life so that you aren’t the needy one. This will benefit and honor everyone, and is a healthier approach to parenting.
I said before in an earlier column, the lessons our loved ones gain from their struggles is their right, and to deny this natural process may keep them from the maturity, independence, sense of achievement and resulting self esteem that a successful life demands.
Loving and releasing may seem to be a dichotomy, yet when you truly love, there are no tentacles, no hooks, only a freeing love.
_____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Later, what bothered me about her comment was my sense that she might have thought my decision was insensitive and uncaring. That couldn’t be further from the truth. My comment was based on long life experience, and knowing that all human beings have within them the awareness of what is right for them. And parents and grandparents have no right to interfere with that, even though it may take a while for the younger generation to sort out their lives.
I was also talking about the time when our children and their children have reached adulthood and are on their own. I fully realize that during the earlier years, there is a much greater level of involvement that is necessary, natural and desired.
When the natural maturation process pulls young adults to follow their own paths, however, this is healthy and desired. This is what parenting is all about, guiding them to this stage and then letting them fly from the nest.
Yet it can also be a scary time for many parents and grandparents, and I can relate to that. After being needed for so long, the fear or concern is that we will lose our connection with them, and we better do something fast.
What often happens is that there is an attempt, well meant but ill-advised, to become what Dr. Wayne Dyer calls “helicopter parents,” parents who hover over our children and grandchildren. In this way, we hope to either financially, emotionally—or both—secure the tie that binds. But the truth is, while it may feel good to us, it may cripple them.
I tried this approach for a very short time with some of my loved ones, but fortunately they were way ahead of me and would allow none of it. They had already followed the natural course and released me—which is a hard but necessary lesson to learn.
Now that I have been through this a few times, I can attest to the high level of love and wisdom it takes for parents and grandparents to love and release their beloveds to life. I can similarly attest to the courage and commitment it takes to quell the urge to rescue them or to try to be the super parent or grandparent for ego reasons. My hard-earned advice for those tempted by the helicopter syndrome is to immediately turn that thought, and energy, toward enhancing your own life so that you aren’t the needy one. This will benefit and honor everyone, and is a healthier approach to parenting.
I said before in an earlier column, the lessons our loved ones gain from their struggles is their right, and to deny this natural process may keep them from the maturity, independence, sense of achievement and resulting self esteem that a successful life demands.
Loving and releasing may seem to be a dichotomy, yet when you truly love, there are no tentacles, no hooks, only a freeing love.
_____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Laughter is Contagious ... and It's Good for You, Too!
I enjoy going to my doctor’s office because we share the same sense of humor, and love to laugh. Neither of us tries to be funny. It is simply the fact that anything and everything is suddenly a source of potential laughter. All we have to do is just look at each other and the fun begins.
Having just come from a visit with her, and still smiling at the experience, I realize what a rare gift it is to be around someone who has residual joy bubbling up within them.
This made me think of my younger brother, D.L., and my late uncle John Henry Hampton. Anytime they were in the area you knew you were going to have a wonderful time and that laughter, including large belly-shaking-laugh-until-your-insides hurt could break out at any time. The anticipation registered on every face.
My friend Marguerite is in the same category, but with a more subtle touch. She has a unique way of combining clothes, colors and fun jewelry that together with her personality make her very presence a joy. When she walks into a room, whether it is in a business environment or a private home, the reaction is always the same. There is an automatic shift in the energy level and the environment changes. It is as if the good humor ice cream truck had just pulled up, and everyone starts smiling.
When I was younger, one of my favorite movies was Bedknobs and Broomsticks, starring Angela Lansbury and the late Ed Wynn, and all because of one delicious scene. The two youngsters in the film learned that with Wynn’s tutoring, laughter could literally lift them up to new heights. As I watched them all hover near the ceiling, and relished their infectious laughter, I wanted to be there with them. If any serious thoughts entered their minds, however, they immediately began to descend in altitude, so it was necessary to keep the laughter going.
There’s certainly enough seriousness in today’s world to keep us firmly grounded, and we do need to make decisions and do all the things required by adults to keep families and society running. But just imagine how much healthier we would be—remember the book “Laughter is the Best Medicine”—and how much better off the world would be if we could find reasons to smile more and to laugh out loud at least once a day. My doctor also says it is even a great way to massage all your internal organs.
Naturally since I love to laugh, I have always been a fan of jokes. As a matter of fact some of my favorite people are jokes! Sorry. To start you smiling, I offer these examples, which were found by Googling “Jokes.” I hope they bring a smile and that you will share them with at least one person, preferably someone under 10 years of age.
Doctor, doctor
My son swallowed a pen!
What should I do?
Use a pencil until I get there!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!
_____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Having just come from a visit with her, and still smiling at the experience, I realize what a rare gift it is to be around someone who has residual joy bubbling up within them.
This made me think of my younger brother, D.L., and my late uncle John Henry Hampton. Anytime they were in the area you knew you were going to have a wonderful time and that laughter, including large belly-shaking-laugh-until-your-insides hurt could break out at any time. The anticipation registered on every face.
My friend Marguerite is in the same category, but with a more subtle touch. She has a unique way of combining clothes, colors and fun jewelry that together with her personality make her very presence a joy. When she walks into a room, whether it is in a business environment or a private home, the reaction is always the same. There is an automatic shift in the energy level and the environment changes. It is as if the good humor ice cream truck had just pulled up, and everyone starts smiling.
When I was younger, one of my favorite movies was Bedknobs and Broomsticks, starring Angela Lansbury and the late Ed Wynn, and all because of one delicious scene. The two youngsters in the film learned that with Wynn’s tutoring, laughter could literally lift them up to new heights. As I watched them all hover near the ceiling, and relished their infectious laughter, I wanted to be there with them. If any serious thoughts entered their minds, however, they immediately began to descend in altitude, so it was necessary to keep the laughter going.
There’s certainly enough seriousness in today’s world to keep us firmly grounded, and we do need to make decisions and do all the things required by adults to keep families and society running. But just imagine how much healthier we would be—remember the book “Laughter is the Best Medicine”—and how much better off the world would be if we could find reasons to smile more and to laugh out loud at least once a day. My doctor also says it is even a great way to massage all your internal organs.
Naturally since I love to laugh, I have always been a fan of jokes. As a matter of fact some of my favorite people are jokes! Sorry. To start you smiling, I offer these examples, which were found by Googling “Jokes.” I hope they bring a smile and that you will share them with at least one person, preferably someone under 10 years of age.
Doctor, doctor
My son swallowed a pen!
What should I do?
Use a pencil until I get there!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!
_____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Finding Peace Between Religion and Spirituality
In seeking a subject for my weekly columns, I always ask and expect my intuition to guide me. This time I was inspired by a dear friend’s question. She asked, “How do I reconcile my almost lifelong Christian beliefs with what I know and believe now? At the time, she was experiencing a health situation that naturally brought up thoughts about her own mortality. I think she was concerned about what effect the new beliefs would have at the time of her death.
I realized that the answer to her question could be a source of inner peace for my friend and countless others, including myself.
When I was young, like many others, I sought spiritual solace from conventional religious sources. After decades of seeking, I found, also like many others, a place of comfort between the closed religious views of the past and an open spirituality that resonated within my mind and heart, and was grounded in the depths of my being.
During my seeking, I realized that conventional religious systems hold that the life force-energy-love-power [God] is placed outside the individual. Followers are required to subscribe to a closed belief system, are considered much lower in status than this energy and basically flawed. The belief system doesn’t have to be logical or scientifically plausible.
In contrast to this, unconventional systems believe that there is only this life force-energy-love-power and it is not outside of us, it is within you, me and everything in the universe. In essence this means there is only one God, but with many variations and interpretations. This energy is either manifested as form, or waiting to be manifested, as its nature is to expand and become more. Since we live, move and have our being in this energy, we share its attributes and characteristics – much like a wave in the ocean is part of the whole – but is not the whole.
In 1 Corinthians, Chapter 12 verse 13, Paul says: “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free, and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”
It was an incredibly wonderful feeling to realize that I am not a disconnected, isolated entity. I am an individualized unit, a cell, in the colossal body of this cosmic life force-energy-love.
It is my responsibility to become aware of the incredible life force that is inherent in me, to learn to manage this energy, cooperate with it and to use it for the highest and best good of all. By entering into communion with this energy, I discovered the sanctuary of love, wisdom, acceptance and guidance that is our birthright and the heart desire of every human being. This is where love lives—inside us.
These ideas have been around in one form or another for a long time. The spiritual teachers, masters and mystics who spoke and wrote about them through the centuries were simply bringing this natural evolutionary progression to our attention, again, in case we were open to it. The fact is that the energy-love-force is eternal and changeless, but as humanity evolves our understanding of it expands.
My friend is wise to seek reconciliation between her past beliefs and what she knows and believes now, as this brings inner peace. The following answers the question for me, and hopefully will help my friend and many others.
I know we live in a spiritual, loving universe that is a universe of law and order. The Law of Attraction means that like attracts like. When we die we will draw to us whatever high or low energy we are and what we hold in our hearts. It could not be otherwise. Whether my friend seeks to be embraced by the Old Testament God, Jesus of the New Testament, Allah, Mohammed, Buddha, Mother Mary, a host of angels or all the above, [which I lovingly accept for her], she will be met with her heart’s desire. It could not be otherwise.
_________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
I realized that the answer to her question could be a source of inner peace for my friend and countless others, including myself.
When I was young, like many others, I sought spiritual solace from conventional religious sources. After decades of seeking, I found, also like many others, a place of comfort between the closed religious views of the past and an open spirituality that resonated within my mind and heart, and was grounded in the depths of my being.
During my seeking, I realized that conventional religious systems hold that the life force-energy-love-power [God] is placed outside the individual. Followers are required to subscribe to a closed belief system, are considered much lower in status than this energy and basically flawed. The belief system doesn’t have to be logical or scientifically plausible.
In contrast to this, unconventional systems believe that there is only this life force-energy-love-power and it is not outside of us, it is within you, me and everything in the universe. In essence this means there is only one God, but with many variations and interpretations. This energy is either manifested as form, or waiting to be manifested, as its nature is to expand and become more. Since we live, move and have our being in this energy, we share its attributes and characteristics – much like a wave in the ocean is part of the whole – but is not the whole.
In 1 Corinthians, Chapter 12 verse 13, Paul says: “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free, and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.”
It was an incredibly wonderful feeling to realize that I am not a disconnected, isolated entity. I am an individualized unit, a cell, in the colossal body of this cosmic life force-energy-love.
It is my responsibility to become aware of the incredible life force that is inherent in me, to learn to manage this energy, cooperate with it and to use it for the highest and best good of all. By entering into communion with this energy, I discovered the sanctuary of love, wisdom, acceptance and guidance that is our birthright and the heart desire of every human being. This is where love lives—inside us.
These ideas have been around in one form or another for a long time. The spiritual teachers, masters and mystics who spoke and wrote about them through the centuries were simply bringing this natural evolutionary progression to our attention, again, in case we were open to it. The fact is that the energy-love-force is eternal and changeless, but as humanity evolves our understanding of it expands.
My friend is wise to seek reconciliation between her past beliefs and what she knows and believes now, as this brings inner peace. The following answers the question for me, and hopefully will help my friend and many others.
I know we live in a spiritual, loving universe that is a universe of law and order. The Law of Attraction means that like attracts like. When we die we will draw to us whatever high or low energy we are and what we hold in our hearts. It could not be otherwise. Whether my friend seeks to be embraced by the Old Testament God, Jesus of the New Testament, Allah, Mohammed, Buddha, Mother Mary, a host of angels or all the above, [which I lovingly accept for her], she will be met with her heart’s desire. It could not be otherwise.
_________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, August 6, 2007
How to Live a Rich, Rewarding, Joyful and Purposeful Life
Throughout the centuries, great visionaries, authors and philosophers have written and spoken of the importance of connecting with the spiritual-mental energy inherent within each of us and knowingly directing it to achieve rewarding and fulfilling lives. Oprah Winfrey instinctively knew the need for disseminating such information and devoted several of her television talk shows to covering The Secret, the latest book on this process.
Naturally, the book and Oprah’s endorsement piqued the interest of millions of people and for obvious reasons. Who wouldn’t choose health, wealth and success over poverty and suffering?
At first blush, the primary emphasis on material gain seems to be a negative because of the current materialistic pattern set by our society. However, a desire for increased prosperity and abundance is normal, natural and universal. It just needs to be approached in a more comprehensive way that is healthful, meaningful and fulfilling.
The current role models for success in our society are driven workaholic-money-grubbing individuals who place the pursuit of money above all else. All anyone has to do is look around and see the chaos this has created. We are the most affluent nation in the world, and yet we are so alienated from our selves, each other and nature that many people need to numb themselves in order to stand the consequences of this approach.
The good news is the fact that millions of people are now aware of this age-old success strategy, which in itself is symbolic of an awakening in humanity. This means that those open to this information realize that by taking responsibility for their lives, becoming aware of the spiritual energy within and practicing mental discipline, can help them move out of the victim role.
This is only the beginning. The next vital step in this inner journey will allow the discovery of one’s true heart and soul desires. This heightened awareness can be realized by going within and acknowledging and living from the sanctuary of love, peace and wisdom that resides within each of us. In just lightly touching this sanctuary, we find what every soul on Earth yearns for—a sense of connectedness and wholeness. As we continue on this path, we gradually release the sense of separation that is the basis of all fear. This preparation provides the foundation for the realization of our desires, as we will have the full support of body, mind, spirit and emotion—a much more powerful and desirable approach.
By becoming aware of and trusting the true essence of our being, we begin to choose to live from the highest that is within us and our actions will come from love and be beneficial for all concerned.
I have used this ancient process for many years and gained new insights that I believe were directly responsible for my successes. I invite you to visit my Web site to read the feature article “10 Proven Steps to Fulfill Your Heart’s Desire,” and the detailed how-to lists that update and summarize the process. This may hold just the information you need to realize your desired results. I also invite you to let me know about your increased health, wealth and happiness as we continue on this life adventure together.
I believe the only “secret” in all of this is that a success strategy begins with us. It is an inside job. You can break through the shell of poverty and lack and demonstrate lasting prosperity and abundance at its best—as a joyous, meaningful and purposeful life.
_______________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Naturally, the book and Oprah’s endorsement piqued the interest of millions of people and for obvious reasons. Who wouldn’t choose health, wealth and success over poverty and suffering?
At first blush, the primary emphasis on material gain seems to be a negative because of the current materialistic pattern set by our society. However, a desire for increased prosperity and abundance is normal, natural and universal. It just needs to be approached in a more comprehensive way that is healthful, meaningful and fulfilling.
The current role models for success in our society are driven workaholic-money-grubbing individuals who place the pursuit of money above all else. All anyone has to do is look around and see the chaos this has created. We are the most affluent nation in the world, and yet we are so alienated from our selves, each other and nature that many people need to numb themselves in order to stand the consequences of this approach.
The good news is the fact that millions of people are now aware of this age-old success strategy, which in itself is symbolic of an awakening in humanity. This means that those open to this information realize that by taking responsibility for their lives, becoming aware of the spiritual energy within and practicing mental discipline, can help them move out of the victim role.
This is only the beginning. The next vital step in this inner journey will allow the discovery of one’s true heart and soul desires. This heightened awareness can be realized by going within and acknowledging and living from the sanctuary of love, peace and wisdom that resides within each of us. In just lightly touching this sanctuary, we find what every soul on Earth yearns for—a sense of connectedness and wholeness. As we continue on this path, we gradually release the sense of separation that is the basis of all fear. This preparation provides the foundation for the realization of our desires, as we will have the full support of body, mind, spirit and emotion—a much more powerful and desirable approach.
By becoming aware of and trusting the true essence of our being, we begin to choose to live from the highest that is within us and our actions will come from love and be beneficial for all concerned.
I have used this ancient process for many years and gained new insights that I believe were directly responsible for my successes. I invite you to visit my Web site to read the feature article “10 Proven Steps to Fulfill Your Heart’s Desire,” and the detailed how-to lists that update and summarize the process. This may hold just the information you need to realize your desired results. I also invite you to let me know about your increased health, wealth and happiness as we continue on this life adventure together.
I believe the only “secret” in all of this is that a success strategy begins with us. It is an inside job. You can break through the shell of poverty and lack and demonstrate lasting prosperity and abundance at its best—as a joyous, meaningful and purposeful life.
_______________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, July 30, 2007
The Importance of Keeping a "Soft" Heart
On a road trip with my sister, we talked about our lifelong perception of another family member that recently turned out to be questionable. We realized this when we attended the person’s memorial service and heard how other people saw her. We concluded that we had allowed a couple of isolated perceptions to become judgments, which justified avoiding and never really getting to know this relative.
When I thought about this later, I realized that for me this pattern of coping with difficult relationships started early in life with my mother. My perception of her was of a cold, unfeeling and sometimes harsh woman because I never felt loved or cherished by her.
Since this is one of life’s primary relationships, I experienced the full spectrum of textbook emotions—anger, fear, shame and unworthiness. My response was also typical. In order to ease the pain, I hardened my heart toward her. So that no one else would know of my private heartache and the shame of not being someone that a mother could love, I became the attentive and dutiful daughter.
I learned years later that when something goes wrong in our lives our tendency is to blame others, and we feel justified in doing so. However, by following this path we never find the love we are seeking, which is within us.
After years of doing daily forgiveness work for my mother and myself, I opened to this natural wellspring of love within me. I grew past the need for my mother, or anyone else, to love me. This changed my life.
As I began thinking of my mother and the traumas she endured as a child, it was possible to understand the woman she had become. My heart softened toward her. The love just naturally flowed from me to her and it didn’t matter that she could not return it.
Near the end of her life, she had senile dementia and was unaware of me or anyone else. With an open and tender heart, I was able to be there for her at a time when it was most needed. I was also able to give her the love and nurturing she wasn’t capable of giving me as a child.
I realize that there will always be opportunities to allow perceptions to become judgments that tempt us to shut people out of our hearts and our lives. I believe this is contradictory to the overflowing love that is within us that is yearning to flow and connect with others. I also believe it takes a lot of precious life energy to keep others out of our hearts, and this process robs us of inner peace.
It is a fact that our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects are linked together and the decision to harden our heart toward another can affect our physical bodies. During an annual physical some years ago, I learned that several areas of my heart had started to harden, which would make it more difficult for my heart to beat healthfully. I instinctively knew the cause and the cure.
It is important to remember that our own physical and emotional well-being depends on maintaining an inner peace which comes from a healthy relationship with our self and others. I believe the only way to ensure that is by keeping a soft and open heart.
______________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
When I thought about this later, I realized that for me this pattern of coping with difficult relationships started early in life with my mother. My perception of her was of a cold, unfeeling and sometimes harsh woman because I never felt loved or cherished by her.
Since this is one of life’s primary relationships, I experienced the full spectrum of textbook emotions—anger, fear, shame and unworthiness. My response was also typical. In order to ease the pain, I hardened my heart toward her. So that no one else would know of my private heartache and the shame of not being someone that a mother could love, I became the attentive and dutiful daughter.
I learned years later that when something goes wrong in our lives our tendency is to blame others, and we feel justified in doing so. However, by following this path we never find the love we are seeking, which is within us.
After years of doing daily forgiveness work for my mother and myself, I opened to this natural wellspring of love within me. I grew past the need for my mother, or anyone else, to love me. This changed my life.
As I began thinking of my mother and the traumas she endured as a child, it was possible to understand the woman she had become. My heart softened toward her. The love just naturally flowed from me to her and it didn’t matter that she could not return it.
Near the end of her life, she had senile dementia and was unaware of me or anyone else. With an open and tender heart, I was able to be there for her at a time when it was most needed. I was also able to give her the love and nurturing she wasn’t capable of giving me as a child.
I realize that there will always be opportunities to allow perceptions to become judgments that tempt us to shut people out of our hearts and our lives. I believe this is contradictory to the overflowing love that is within us that is yearning to flow and connect with others. I also believe it takes a lot of precious life energy to keep others out of our hearts, and this process robs us of inner peace.
It is a fact that our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects are linked together and the decision to harden our heart toward another can affect our physical bodies. During an annual physical some years ago, I learned that several areas of my heart had started to harden, which would make it more difficult for my heart to beat healthfully. I instinctively knew the cause and the cure.
It is important to remember that our own physical and emotional well-being depends on maintaining an inner peace which comes from a healthy relationship with our self and others. I believe the only way to ensure that is by keeping a soft and open heart.
______________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Why Not Elect the Speechwriters Instead of the Candidates?
Because I am a writer, I often get requests from close friends to review something they have written or to write a short blurb to further a cause we both believe in and support. Yesterday I received an e-mail from a friend who is helping a candidate for political office. She sent a short article she had written for an upcoming event on behalf of her candidate and asked for my help.
I had met the candidate once when she was visiting my friend, and while I wasn’t aware of her platform, I was impressed with her personally and respectful of her courageous decision to run for office. I also trust and respect my friend, so I agreed.
Yesterday I spent several hours going over the piece, and could hardly wait to get to the computer this morning to add some new thoughts. After polishing the piece until I totally resonated with the content, I opened an e-mail and began writing a note to my friend to accompany the attached article. It wasn’t long before I realized that I had doubts about sending it and decided finally that I wouldn’t. Here’s why.
I began thinking about the challenging times that face us locally, regionally, nationally and globally. I thought about how important it is to elect consciously aware human beings who have the moral, ethical, intellectual and spiritual maturity to break free of old patterns—and are open to new paths of opportunity to heal our planet and ensure our future on Earth.
In order to do that, we must be consciously aware ourselves and through due diligence seek out the brightest and best individuals for the job. I knew I couldn’t present a written piece that might not reflect the essence of the individual for whom it was written.
I also vividly remembered the times I had voted for someone only to realize later that we should have elected the person who drafted the now-incumbent’s speeches.
Recently, along with my fellow citizens, I watched the presidential debates and realized how difficult [nearly impossible] it is to try to figure out the true character of any current candidates as they have been packaged, prepped and sanitized in order to get elected.
The only ones who have the “freedom” to speak candidly are those not in the upper tier of presidential candidates, as they know they won’t be their party’s choice and have nothing to lose.
I e-mailed the suggestion to my friend that the candidate courageously publish a list of her personal core beliefs and intentions right off the bat; throw her hat in the ring and go for it. It would be refreshingly honest, and a nice change from the usual put-the-platform-together-as-you-go process.
Since I already did the work, I would like to share some of the qualities that I believe we should require and expect from our national leaders: We need elected officials who are secure enough to connect and communicate candidly at a time in our world when we are becoming more and more alienated from each other—and who seek to connect and negotiate rather than influence and impress; who lead from a place of integrity, intelligence and with a compassionate heart; who are ethically, morally and spiritually mature enough to break free of old ways and be open to new opportunities to better our lives and secure the future, and who work to ensure there is a future and one worthy of our stewardship.
_______________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
I had met the candidate once when she was visiting my friend, and while I wasn’t aware of her platform, I was impressed with her personally and respectful of her courageous decision to run for office. I also trust and respect my friend, so I agreed.
Yesterday I spent several hours going over the piece, and could hardly wait to get to the computer this morning to add some new thoughts. After polishing the piece until I totally resonated with the content, I opened an e-mail and began writing a note to my friend to accompany the attached article. It wasn’t long before I realized that I had doubts about sending it and decided finally that I wouldn’t. Here’s why.
I began thinking about the challenging times that face us locally, regionally, nationally and globally. I thought about how important it is to elect consciously aware human beings who have the moral, ethical, intellectual and spiritual maturity to break free of old patterns—and are open to new paths of opportunity to heal our planet and ensure our future on Earth.
In order to do that, we must be consciously aware ourselves and through due diligence seek out the brightest and best individuals for the job. I knew I couldn’t present a written piece that might not reflect the essence of the individual for whom it was written.
I also vividly remembered the times I had voted for someone only to realize later that we should have elected the person who drafted the now-incumbent’s speeches.
Recently, along with my fellow citizens, I watched the presidential debates and realized how difficult [nearly impossible] it is to try to figure out the true character of any current candidates as they have been packaged, prepped and sanitized in order to get elected.
The only ones who have the “freedom” to speak candidly are those not in the upper tier of presidential candidates, as they know they won’t be their party’s choice and have nothing to lose.
I e-mailed the suggestion to my friend that the candidate courageously publish a list of her personal core beliefs and intentions right off the bat; throw her hat in the ring and go for it. It would be refreshingly honest, and a nice change from the usual put-the-platform-together-as-you-go process.
Since I already did the work, I would like to share some of the qualities that I believe we should require and expect from our national leaders: We need elected officials who are secure enough to connect and communicate candidly at a time in our world when we are becoming more and more alienated from each other—and who seek to connect and negotiate rather than influence and impress; who lead from a place of integrity, intelligence and with a compassionate heart; who are ethically, morally and spiritually mature enough to break free of old ways and be open to new opportunities to better our lives and secure the future, and who work to ensure there is a future and one worthy of our stewardship.
_______________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, July 16, 2007
If Communications Are at a Pinnacle in History, Why Are We Living in a Disconnected World?
In a recent conversation, a friend asked me about an incident that caused a breach between me and a mutual friend. I had to admit that neither of us had ever made any attempt to resolve the situation. Even though we have maintained a relationship during the ensuing years, there is no longer trust, intimacy or any real connection between us.
I realize that my experience is typical of the increasing inability of individuals to communicate with each other. Ask anyone you know. Friends can’t reveal themselves to friends. Relatives can’t relate with relatives. Siblings can’t communicate with siblings, mothers with daughters, fathers with sons or the parents with each other. And it goes right on from there through every aspect of society, and all levels of government, at home and abroad.
A wide breach in communication exists between Israelis and Palestinians, between Sunnis and Shiites, and on and on and on, and this is one of the, if not the major reason we have such violence in the Middle East and throughout the world. It is also the major reason that we continue to use wars as a misguided and primitive attempt at conflict resolution.
I watched a documentary the other night on Tony Blair and his decade as prime minister of the United Kingdom. His courageous commitment to personal involvement in peace talks in Ireland was a key to its historic success. He left a meeting of world leaders to be sure this process had his undivided attention and literally worked around the clock for days to see it through. His ability to communicate clearly on a human level, his negotiation skills, as well as his unflagging dedication, literally saved the day. He did this even though he knew if his efforts failed he was at great political risk.
I remember a few other instances in my lifetime when other leaders with integrity and awareness realized the vital importance of the human dimension in communication and opened opportunities for resolutions when absolutely nothing else could.
Relationships between individuals are not simple. Security in relationships does not and never will come from having power over someone. Security in relationships comes from building connections, which builds trust. True intimacy is based on the willingness to be vulnerable, and to risk, which is the opposite of control.
On the international level, it is extremely important that communication be approached with the intention of negotiation instead of impressing, threatening or having power over. It requires personal integrity, intelligence and ethical, moral and spiritual maturity to lead a nation and to interact globally.
While the current situation in Washington is chaotic and distressing, I believe that this and the reality of the global problems may help bring us out of our national apathy. This could present a unique opportunity to learn what we can do that will change our lives and help alter the course of our nation and the world.
I believe that the challenges in our world serve as a mirror and simply reflect the basic fears and problems we face in our own lives. We can’t connect with each other and resolve the simplest conflicts, and our national leaders are having the same problem. We also don’t rise up as one voice and demand better solutions in national and international situations.
I believe the only hope for peace in this world is to restore basic human to human communication. And this must begin with each one of us. When we are able to communicate clearly and negotiate solutions, we will naturally expect it of everyone else, and demand it of our leaders.
_____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
I realize that my experience is typical of the increasing inability of individuals to communicate with each other. Ask anyone you know. Friends can’t reveal themselves to friends. Relatives can’t relate with relatives. Siblings can’t communicate with siblings, mothers with daughters, fathers with sons or the parents with each other. And it goes right on from there through every aspect of society, and all levels of government, at home and abroad.
A wide breach in communication exists between Israelis and Palestinians, between Sunnis and Shiites, and on and on and on, and this is one of the, if not the major reason we have such violence in the Middle East and throughout the world. It is also the major reason that we continue to use wars as a misguided and primitive attempt at conflict resolution.
I watched a documentary the other night on Tony Blair and his decade as prime minister of the United Kingdom. His courageous commitment to personal involvement in peace talks in Ireland was a key to its historic success. He left a meeting of world leaders to be sure this process had his undivided attention and literally worked around the clock for days to see it through. His ability to communicate clearly on a human level, his negotiation skills, as well as his unflagging dedication, literally saved the day. He did this even though he knew if his efforts failed he was at great political risk.
I remember a few other instances in my lifetime when other leaders with integrity and awareness realized the vital importance of the human dimension in communication and opened opportunities for resolutions when absolutely nothing else could.
Relationships between individuals are not simple. Security in relationships does not and never will come from having power over someone. Security in relationships comes from building connections, which builds trust. True intimacy is based on the willingness to be vulnerable, and to risk, which is the opposite of control.
On the international level, it is extremely important that communication be approached with the intention of negotiation instead of impressing, threatening or having power over. It requires personal integrity, intelligence and ethical, moral and spiritual maturity to lead a nation and to interact globally.
While the current situation in Washington is chaotic and distressing, I believe that this and the reality of the global problems may help bring us out of our national apathy. This could present a unique opportunity to learn what we can do that will change our lives and help alter the course of our nation and the world.
I believe that the challenges in our world serve as a mirror and simply reflect the basic fears and problems we face in our own lives. We can’t connect with each other and resolve the simplest conflicts, and our national leaders are having the same problem. We also don’t rise up as one voice and demand better solutions in national and international situations.
I believe the only hope for peace in this world is to restore basic human to human communication. And this must begin with each one of us. When we are able to communicate clearly and negotiate solutions, we will naturally expect it of everyone else, and demand it of our leaders.
_____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, July 9, 2007
"De-Nial" Is Not Just a River in Egypt ...
Life is a terminal condition, and I am at that stage, along with about thirty-five million other Americans, when this holds particular interest for me. Like many parents, I have wondered if my offspring have thought about the fact that this time of life is also on the horizon for them, and whether or not they will be prepared to respond healthfully in either instance. Two recent experiences dramatically point up how some offspring of aging American are choosing to cope with this situation.
Last Sunday I visited a family friend who has been in an assisted living facility for several years. When she had been healthy and active, she was the hub and heart of her family. Then the years sapped her health and strength, her husband died and more responsibility was placed on her adult children. After her 80th birthday, she fell several times, and is now confined to a wheelchair.
We talked candidly about the typical reasons her children and grandchildren do not come to visit her very often—too busy with their own families, living far away, and fearing she will place further demands on them for additional assistance. She also knows that the reality of facing death, even someone else’s, is more than some people can stand, so they avoid contact with the aging person.
Later that same week I attended a memorial service for the mother of a dear friend. The woman was ninety years old and had lived with my friend and her husband for the past sixteen years.
In her son-in-law’s tribute, he lovingly shared the fact that since he and his wife could not have children, they had decided to take in and care for their aging parents. This was their last “child.” While he admitted there were challenges in the beginning, his face registered the truth in this statement: “The gift in what we both gained in the day-to-day living with Mom transcends my ability to describe it.”
My companion turned to me and whispered, “Everyone should be so lucky.” I nodded agreement. I had been a volunteer for Hospice of the Valley, and have accompanied a number of loved ones on their last life journey. Yet I had never witnessed such an extraordinary memorial service where tears and laughter flowed as one in a magical expression of love.
I realize fully that these two scenarios obviously reflect the culture, character and conscious awareness of the individual families. Each situation is appropriate for the people involved.
Truthfully I don’t see either scenario being in my future—either being ignored or cared for in such a selfless, charitable way. While I know that death is meant to be a sacred, loving, life-affirming and spiritually enlightening experience, many people still believe it is the most feared of all natural life events. Until society as a whole can move out of that mind-set and accept death as the natural result of being born, many end-of-life scenarios for elderly citizens will resemble the first example.
As for me, I have made practical plans that hopefully will assist me and my loved ones through this future time. My heart desire is to be at peace within and to be so focused on the sacredness of the event—of becoming one with my true essence, going home—that this and this alone will determine the quality of my experience.
I believe the answer for every human being is to accept that death is as natural as being born. As we can release the fear of death and move out of denial, we will be free to live more fully and ultimately to die a much better death no matter the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Last Sunday I visited a family friend who has been in an assisted living facility for several years. When she had been healthy and active, she was the hub and heart of her family. Then the years sapped her health and strength, her husband died and more responsibility was placed on her adult children. After her 80th birthday, she fell several times, and is now confined to a wheelchair.
We talked candidly about the typical reasons her children and grandchildren do not come to visit her very often—too busy with their own families, living far away, and fearing she will place further demands on them for additional assistance. She also knows that the reality of facing death, even someone else’s, is more than some people can stand, so they avoid contact with the aging person.
Later that same week I attended a memorial service for the mother of a dear friend. The woman was ninety years old and had lived with my friend and her husband for the past sixteen years.
In her son-in-law’s tribute, he lovingly shared the fact that since he and his wife could not have children, they had decided to take in and care for their aging parents. This was their last “child.” While he admitted there were challenges in the beginning, his face registered the truth in this statement: “The gift in what we both gained in the day-to-day living with Mom transcends my ability to describe it.”
My companion turned to me and whispered, “Everyone should be so lucky.” I nodded agreement. I had been a volunteer for Hospice of the Valley, and have accompanied a number of loved ones on their last life journey. Yet I had never witnessed such an extraordinary memorial service where tears and laughter flowed as one in a magical expression of love.
I realize fully that these two scenarios obviously reflect the culture, character and conscious awareness of the individual families. Each situation is appropriate for the people involved.
Truthfully I don’t see either scenario being in my future—either being ignored or cared for in such a selfless, charitable way. While I know that death is meant to be a sacred, loving, life-affirming and spiritually enlightening experience, many people still believe it is the most feared of all natural life events. Until society as a whole can move out of that mind-set and accept death as the natural result of being born, many end-of-life scenarios for elderly citizens will resemble the first example.
As for me, I have made practical plans that hopefully will assist me and my loved ones through this future time. My heart desire is to be at peace within and to be so focused on the sacredness of the event—of becoming one with my true essence, going home—that this and this alone will determine the quality of my experience.
I believe the answer for every human being is to accept that death is as natural as being born. As we can release the fear of death and move out of denial, we will be free to live more fully and ultimately to die a much better death no matter the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, July 2, 2007
An S.O.S. for the American Dream
We have always had a proud history of welcoming legal immigrants into our country from around the world. The difference was that in the past, the laws of our land determined who, how many and when.
The day after the recent failure of the immigration bill in Congress, a government official was quoted on National Public Radio as saying that somewhere between 12 and 15 million illegal immigrants are residing in the United States. No one really knows the actual number, who they are or where they are.
How does a historically caring and generous nation respond to the challenge of illegal immigration without destroying the rule of law on which the United States is based, and without eroding the quality of life of its citizens? These are the reasons illegal and legal immigrants want to come here in the first place.
Everyone knows that it is a crime to enter the United States illegally. Obviously our national leaders have ignored the fact that we have existing legislation, regulations, quotas, rules, waiting periods and bureaucratic processes that must be followed and respected. This is a system accepted by most countries around the world.
While our two political parties quick-stepped around this serious issue, the legislative process was paralyzed. Perhaps the future resolution of this issue will be aided by the fact that now everyone will know what no political leader wanted to bring up or talk about. The Republicans wanted to appease their big business contributors by providing cheap labor and the Democrats wanted to retain their existing Hispanic constituencies and gain new voters when the illegal immigrants become legal. This is why neither side would make a definitive move in any direction to resolve the issue.
Even without the continuing large numbers of illegal immigrants, there are already real concerns about this country’s ability to provide the infrastructure and the financial and human resources to respond to national or international emergencies. Consider Katrina and Iraq.
Americans are already highly concerned about international terrorists breaching our borders, and the outsourcing of jobs abroad, which coupled with the hiring of illegal immigrants, lowers the pay scale of many American workers. Also, U.S. citizens who live in states that border Mexico, a major source of illegal immigrants, are feeling the economic pressure of the demand for more clinics, schools and necessary public services. These are paid for by American taxpayers, not illegal Mexican immigrants.
Yet the fact is that most Americans still feel passionate about humanely aiding illegal immigrants. The truth is, however, that we would better serve current and future citizens [legal and illegal] by demanding that the government protect our borders, stop the illegal crossings and develop enforceable solutions.
Our political leaders only need to study history or just take a look around the globe today and see the destabilizing effect that such unchecked migrations have on the host country. While it is a fact that many illegal immigrants assimilate into the fabric of the host country, in countries where large numbers have no interest in doing so, the result is often tension, disorder and violence.
This is a critical situation that will require a high level of integrity, moral, ethical and spiritual maturity as well as a compassionate heart to resolve. I believe there are creative solutions that can be developed to help long-term illegal immigrants from all countries who have actively assimilated into and enriched this country by their presence. This is positive and greatly desired.
I believe there is only one wise long-term solution, however, and that is for our leaders on both sides of the aisle to stand up for the United States, secure its borders and enforce the existing immigration laws. History records that no nation can survive without enforceable and enforced laws. Our government must assert its legal right and responsibility to decide the character and quality of legal immigrants, and when and how many enter the U.S., just as other countries do.
Calmly and without emotionally-charged rhetoric the focus must be on the true problem, which simply stated is that who is or who isn’t allowed into the U.S. is a legal issue. Our president and Congress must put party politics aside and act now to: 1) protect our borders, 2) guarantee that our nation’s laws are upheld, and 3) assure that the solutions serve the primary interests of the U.S. and its citizens, and secure our future.
I believe it would be a tragedy for the United States and for the world if our nation is weakened further or irreparably damaged by the continuing lack of decisive action on this important legal issue. The response by our leaders to this situation must be: Not On My Watch!
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
The day after the recent failure of the immigration bill in Congress, a government official was quoted on National Public Radio as saying that somewhere between 12 and 15 million illegal immigrants are residing in the United States. No one really knows the actual number, who they are or where they are.
How does a historically caring and generous nation respond to the challenge of illegal immigration without destroying the rule of law on which the United States is based, and without eroding the quality of life of its citizens? These are the reasons illegal and legal immigrants want to come here in the first place.
Everyone knows that it is a crime to enter the United States illegally. Obviously our national leaders have ignored the fact that we have existing legislation, regulations, quotas, rules, waiting periods and bureaucratic processes that must be followed and respected. This is a system accepted by most countries around the world.
While our two political parties quick-stepped around this serious issue, the legislative process was paralyzed. Perhaps the future resolution of this issue will be aided by the fact that now everyone will know what no political leader wanted to bring up or talk about. The Republicans wanted to appease their big business contributors by providing cheap labor and the Democrats wanted to retain their existing Hispanic constituencies and gain new voters when the illegal immigrants become legal. This is why neither side would make a definitive move in any direction to resolve the issue.
Even without the continuing large numbers of illegal immigrants, there are already real concerns about this country’s ability to provide the infrastructure and the financial and human resources to respond to national or international emergencies. Consider Katrina and Iraq.
Americans are already highly concerned about international terrorists breaching our borders, and the outsourcing of jobs abroad, which coupled with the hiring of illegal immigrants, lowers the pay scale of many American workers. Also, U.S. citizens who live in states that border Mexico, a major source of illegal immigrants, are feeling the economic pressure of the demand for more clinics, schools and necessary public services. These are paid for by American taxpayers, not illegal Mexican immigrants.
Yet the fact is that most Americans still feel passionate about humanely aiding illegal immigrants. The truth is, however, that we would better serve current and future citizens [legal and illegal] by demanding that the government protect our borders, stop the illegal crossings and develop enforceable solutions.
Our political leaders only need to study history or just take a look around the globe today and see the destabilizing effect that such unchecked migrations have on the host country. While it is a fact that many illegal immigrants assimilate into the fabric of the host country, in countries where large numbers have no interest in doing so, the result is often tension, disorder and violence.
This is a critical situation that will require a high level of integrity, moral, ethical and spiritual maturity as well as a compassionate heart to resolve. I believe there are creative solutions that can be developed to help long-term illegal immigrants from all countries who have actively assimilated into and enriched this country by their presence. This is positive and greatly desired.
I believe there is only one wise long-term solution, however, and that is for our leaders on both sides of the aisle to stand up for the United States, secure its borders and enforce the existing immigration laws. History records that no nation can survive without enforceable and enforced laws. Our government must assert its legal right and responsibility to decide the character and quality of legal immigrants, and when and how many enter the U.S., just as other countries do.
Calmly and without emotionally-charged rhetoric the focus must be on the true problem, which simply stated is that who is or who isn’t allowed into the U.S. is a legal issue. Our president and Congress must put party politics aside and act now to: 1) protect our borders, 2) guarantee that our nation’s laws are upheld, and 3) assure that the solutions serve the primary interests of the U.S. and its citizens, and secure our future.
I believe it would be a tragedy for the United States and for the world if our nation is weakened further or irreparably damaged by the continuing lack of decisive action on this important legal issue. The response by our leaders to this situation must be: Not On My Watch!
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
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