As parents, we often think how great it would be if we could take all the lessons learned from our various life experiences and magically infuse them into our offspring – and see them accepted as readily as a cold drink on a hot day. Dream on. Even while our children are in front of us seemingly receiving such words of wisdom, the life force is surging through their bodies beckoning them to unknown and exotic adventures that are of their own making; not rules set by their parents.
This is often glaringly evident in the choices children make relating to their health and well-being. All too often, after a few years of being urged to eat their vegetables, brush their teeth and take care of their bodies, they find the switch inside their heads that turns off the lectures.
What we parents really want is for our children and grandchildren to benefit from our mistakes and to awaken sooner rather than later and learn to live healthier and happier lives. The truth is that it isn’t easy. Life does come at us fast, and we get so busy trying to fulfill our varied life roles that not only do we lose contact with our bodies; we lose the natural wisdom within us that knows how to care for our physical vehicles.
It has long been known in many cultures that the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical aspects of our bodies are interconnected. Many disease processes that show up in the bodies of adults have their beginnings in the mental and emotional levels of our being and then manifest in the physical body. When a dis-ease or illness shows up at that time, it is often a message from our subconscious letting us know that we are out of balance at some level of our being, either mentally, emotionally or spiritually.
By the time we are five or six years old, far too many of us have already internalized messages about being undeserving and unlovable. These invalid subconscious directives can have an undesirable impact on our health and our lives and will continue to do so until we replace them in our subconscious with positive ones. Repeat daily: I now willingly release any need, pattern or belief in my subconscious that denies the truth of me—which is love. I deserve the best life has to offer.
It is now believed that a contributing factor to adult-onset disease and illness is a lack of forgiveness for someone in our lives, and the one that is the hardest to forgive is usually the one we most need to forgive. Sometimes it’s us. Repeat daily: I freely and wholly forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to me or anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive (name) ________ for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free. They are free.
There are many ways in which to come into alignment with our bodies and our inner wisdom, such as: meditation and prayer, working with our dreams, and discovering our life’s purpose and joyously living it. Repeat daily: There is an infinite source of wisdom, love, health, peace, prosperity and guidance at the core of my being. As I turn within and align with this awareness, all the answers and solutions desired for health and happiness are now mine.
The pendulum in our country on any issue normally swings wide before it settles into a commonsense equilibrium, as in the case of health. Ignoring our bodies and taking them for granted was not the answer, and neither is becoming health fanatics.
As parents, we can take comfort in knowing that someone may have been listening after all. It is now becoming common knowledge that the way to live healthier, longer and happier lives is to take early responsibility for our bodies and to learn how to cooperate with them. That’s all we ever wanted!
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
The Key to Financial Security ... No Matter What!
It is a given that our country and the world will ultimately resolve the current financial crisis. The good news right now is that this is an ideal time to consider some ancient tried-and-true prosperity principles. Many famous and successful people have used these concepts for centuries to create and preserve their financial security, despite the external economic conditions.
We have always used our thoughts to create our life circumstances; we simply were not consciously aware of doing so. The rub is that for many of us the results were undesirable. Not only are we responsible for whatever we lacked in our lives in the past, unless we make a change this will also be our future.
We are the only ones who can change the events and conditions we are attracting to us. And it is true that we can change our lives by changing our thoughts. However, most of today’s prosperity information focuses on creating financial gain by mentally deciding what we want, writing it down, picturing it and affirming that it is ours.
These actions are part of the overall process, but they depend only on our finite mental power, instead of utilizing the infinite power that is within us. Until we realize that prosperity and abundance are our natural state, our spiritual birthright, the results will be, at best, undependable and short-lived.
In order to connect with our natural state, our true selves, we must go within. Meditation is one way to enhance our alignment with our inner selves. As we do this, we open ourselves to greater conscious awareness, and are literally fanning the flame in our souls that knows we are powerful spiritual beings and abundance is our God-given original state. We need to become immersed in this truth and act from it.
We live in an incredibly abundant Universe filled with powerful energy that is constantly seeking to become more. This energy is in us and everything in the cosmos, and is called by many names, including God. Within this energy, there is also an impersonal force that receives our thoughts and emotions and returns to us exactly what we project into it through our thoughts and feelings. This is extremely good news because if we have created undesirable conditions it is possible to change our thoughts and change the results that are delivered to us.
By following the concepts below, and consciously sharing heart-directed love, time and our worldly goods to benefit others, the financial success and abundance that result are then part of the natural flow of life – and as such, are firmly anchored in our lives, No Matter What!
Affirm daily: I give thanks for this amazingly abundant Universe and know that it is my birthright to receive all that I can accept. I do not depend upon persons or external conditions for my prosperity or my abundance. The eternal and sublime energy-God is the source of my supply. And so it is!
When we love ourselves and feel worthy and deserving, we create a prosperity passageway within us that keeps our flow of Good constantly coming to us.
Affirm daily: I am worthy and deserving of prosperity and abundance. I love and approve of myself right now. I claim my good, and it manifests in my life peacefully, joyously and harmoniously, with Good for all concerned. And so it is!
When we know that what we desire is good for us and all others, we do not have to scheme, stress or be concerned that our good takes from anyone.
Affirm daily: The forgiving love of the Universe sets me free from all mistakes of the past or present. My Good comes to me now, pressed down and running over, with Good for all concerned. And so it is!
To maintain the uninterrupted flow of prosperity and abundance, we need to clear and cleanse any negative thoughts we may hold about anyone or anything, past or present.
Affirm daily: I freely and wholly forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to me or to anyone else past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me past or present. I am free, they are free. And so it is!
As we maintain an attitude of gratitude, our prosperity consciousness expands. This allows us to accept more blessings into our experience, to create lasting financial security and abundant, joyous, meaningful lives for ourselves and our loved ones.
Affirm daily: I am grateful for the abundance of life. I give thanks for the prosperity and abundance that continually blesses my life, the lives of others and the Earth. And so it is!
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
[For additional insights, go to: http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/, scroll down “How-to Lists” and read Realizing Your Heart Desires and Fulfill Your Potential.]
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
We have always used our thoughts to create our life circumstances; we simply were not consciously aware of doing so. The rub is that for many of us the results were undesirable. Not only are we responsible for whatever we lacked in our lives in the past, unless we make a change this will also be our future.
We are the only ones who can change the events and conditions we are attracting to us. And it is true that we can change our lives by changing our thoughts. However, most of today’s prosperity information focuses on creating financial gain by mentally deciding what we want, writing it down, picturing it and affirming that it is ours.
These actions are part of the overall process, but they depend only on our finite mental power, instead of utilizing the infinite power that is within us. Until we realize that prosperity and abundance are our natural state, our spiritual birthright, the results will be, at best, undependable and short-lived.
In order to connect with our natural state, our true selves, we must go within. Meditation is one way to enhance our alignment with our inner selves. As we do this, we open ourselves to greater conscious awareness, and are literally fanning the flame in our souls that knows we are powerful spiritual beings and abundance is our God-given original state. We need to become immersed in this truth and act from it.
We live in an incredibly abundant Universe filled with powerful energy that is constantly seeking to become more. This energy is in us and everything in the cosmos, and is called by many names, including God. Within this energy, there is also an impersonal force that receives our thoughts and emotions and returns to us exactly what we project into it through our thoughts and feelings. This is extremely good news because if we have created undesirable conditions it is possible to change our thoughts and change the results that are delivered to us.
By following the concepts below, and consciously sharing heart-directed love, time and our worldly goods to benefit others, the financial success and abundance that result are then part of the natural flow of life – and as such, are firmly anchored in our lives, No Matter What!
Affirm daily: I give thanks for this amazingly abundant Universe and know that it is my birthright to receive all that I can accept. I do not depend upon persons or external conditions for my prosperity or my abundance. The eternal and sublime energy-God is the source of my supply. And so it is!
When we love ourselves and feel worthy and deserving, we create a prosperity passageway within us that keeps our flow of Good constantly coming to us.
Affirm daily: I am worthy and deserving of prosperity and abundance. I love and approve of myself right now. I claim my good, and it manifests in my life peacefully, joyously and harmoniously, with Good for all concerned. And so it is!
When we know that what we desire is good for us and all others, we do not have to scheme, stress or be concerned that our good takes from anyone.
Affirm daily: The forgiving love of the Universe sets me free from all mistakes of the past or present. My Good comes to me now, pressed down and running over, with Good for all concerned. And so it is!
To maintain the uninterrupted flow of prosperity and abundance, we need to clear and cleanse any negative thoughts we may hold about anyone or anything, past or present.
Affirm daily: I freely and wholly forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to me or to anyone else past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me past or present. I am free, they are free. And so it is!
As we maintain an attitude of gratitude, our prosperity consciousness expands. This allows us to accept more blessings into our experience, to create lasting financial security and abundant, joyous, meaningful lives for ourselves and our loved ones.
Affirm daily: I am grateful for the abundance of life. I give thanks for the prosperity and abundance that continually blesses my life, the lives of others and the Earth. And so it is!
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
[For additional insights, go to: http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/, scroll down “How-to Lists” and read Realizing Your Heart Desires and Fulfill Your Potential.]
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Facing Life Challenges With Faith and Resolve
Although I was shocked when my radiantly healthy daughter was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, my ultimate reaction differed from those of a few family members and friends. They viewed the situation as the cruel and unfair hand of fate, which they believe chooses who gets "good" life experiences and who gets "bad" ones. They quickly reminded me that non-smokers sometimes get lung cancer and many lifelong heavy smokers are never touched by it.
I believe, however, that regarding life-threatening experiences as only negative is a short-sighted view of life and that all such events, serious as they may be, are opportunities to help us and those around us learn life lessons.
I also believe that our experiences have more to do with the fact that every human being is unique, and that our souls draw to us whatever circumstances or events we require to move us toward fulfilling our life purpose. This takes precedence over all the other situations in our lives.
Our primary life purpose is specific, is ours alone and no one else can fulfill it. We also have a general purpose that we share with every human being, which is to love ourselves and others and to use our experience to learn how life on Earth really works.
When adults receive a life-threatening medical diagnosis it often signals the beginning of an adventure in consciousness. If we can remain clear and understand that it is our experience and ours alone, we will open to new insights, and we will never look at life the same way again.
The role of anyone else who is involved with us is to love and support us in our continuing life journey, no matter the outcome, in a way that honors us and our choices.
I believe a key element in such life circumstances is for us to remember that we are powerful spiritual beings who came to Earth in human form in order to learn how to work with the eternal and sublime energy that is within us and everything in the universe. By learning to cooperate with this energy, which we call God, we can positively affect our lives, the lives of others and the future of our planet.
Here is an exquisite quote from bestselling author Marianne Williamson that beautifully and profoundly echoes this statement:
I believe, however, that regarding life-threatening experiences as only negative is a short-sighted view of life and that all such events, serious as they may be, are opportunities to help us and those around us learn life lessons.
I also believe that our experiences have more to do with the fact that every human being is unique, and that our souls draw to us whatever circumstances or events we require to move us toward fulfilling our life purpose. This takes precedence over all the other situations in our lives.
Our primary life purpose is specific, is ours alone and no one else can fulfill it. We also have a general purpose that we share with every human being, which is to love ourselves and others and to use our experience to learn how life on Earth really works.
When adults receive a life-threatening medical diagnosis it often signals the beginning of an adventure in consciousness. If we can remain clear and understand that it is our experience and ours alone, we will open to new insights, and we will never look at life the same way again.
The role of anyone else who is involved with us is to love and support us in our continuing life journey, no matter the outcome, in a way that honors us and our choices.
I believe a key element in such life circumstances is for us to remember that we are powerful spiritual beings who came to Earth in human form in order to learn how to work with the eternal and sublime energy that is within us and everything in the universe. By learning to cooperate with this energy, which we call God, we can positively affect our lives, the lives of others and the future of our planet.
Here is an exquisite quote from bestselling author Marianne Williamson that beautifully and profoundly echoes this statement:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around us.
We are meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give others permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
I remember as a young girl how deeply I yearned for the opportunity to make a difference in the world. Naturally, I thought it would be by doing something grand that would result in world renown, or at least a photo in the local newspaper to make my parents proud.
I have known for a long time, however, that a truly valued and noble life is one lived in deep gratitude for the gift of life and a steadfastness that allows us to stay the course, no matter what, and to meet challenging circumstances in trust and faith.
The experiences that occur in our lives, including my daughter’s, present opportunities for us to open to expressing more of the truth of who we were born to be. It isn’t the challenges we face in life, it is how we choose to grow through them that make the difference.
When we elect to meet experiences with faith and resolve instead of fear, the difference registers at a soul level—and we elevate the conscious awareness of humanity.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around us.
We are meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give others permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
I remember as a young girl how deeply I yearned for the opportunity to make a difference in the world. Naturally, I thought it would be by doing something grand that would result in world renown, or at least a photo in the local newspaper to make my parents proud.
I have known for a long time, however, that a truly valued and noble life is one lived in deep gratitude for the gift of life and a steadfastness that allows us to stay the course, no matter what, and to meet challenging circumstances in trust and faith.
The experiences that occur in our lives, including my daughter’s, present opportunities for us to open to expressing more of the truth of who we were born to be. It isn’t the challenges we face in life, it is how we choose to grow through them that make the difference.
When we elect to meet experiences with faith and resolve instead of fear, the difference registers at a soul level—and we elevate the conscious awareness of humanity.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Releasing Childhood Wounds and Reclaiming Our True Selves
After a recent business conversation concerning one of my books, in which I didn’t receive the response I wanted, I felt a wave of emotion wash over me that took me back to childhood: I immediately felt unloved and undeserving.
This wasn’t the first time this kind of thing had happened. But it was the first time I consciously recognized the inappropriate reaction for what it was. I was surprised that the emotions were powerful enough to rattle my confidence and knock me off center. Instead of being able to view the situation objectively, I felt the pain of childhood and my wounded heart.
Since I made a decision many years ago to grow through life instead of just going through it, I realized there are often many layers of issues that we need to peel away and clear in order to be free of subconscious thoughts, beliefs and emotions that affect us in undesirable ways. This was certainly true in this instance.
I also knew that some emotional wounding from childhood is inevitable for all of us. Even if we are born into the healthiest family environment imaginable, it happens. When we start out, our lives depend on the responses of those around us, and unless they automatically know what our cries mean and respond quickly, we soon learn that the world can be an unfriendly place.
Also, because children are complex and unique individuals, it would be miraculous for parents to be everything we need in every instance to assure we grow into healthy adults free of any emotional damage. This explains why so many of us, as well as our children and grandchildren, end up with a subconscious laundry list of unmet-unhealed needs that continue to have a powerful impact on our lives.
By the time we’re adults many of us are aware that in order to cope with individual family dynamics, we had to suppress parts of ourselves and take on adaptive behavior in order to fit into or survive in a specific environment. Psychologists call this adaptive behavior a “false” or “disowned self.” This type of behavior can result from any form of dysfunctional parenting that causes a child to change his or her natural responses in order to cope with the situation. In extreme cases, it happens when a child tries to escape the wrath of an abusive parent.
We create this false self to mask the hurt of giving up our original God-given wholeness. This adaptive behavior separates us from our true selves and disallows any true intimacy with ourselves or anyone else.
Later on, as adults, when we don’t get what we need or want from life or our significant others, the emotional energy connected to our unhealed issues will bubble up from our subconscious, often in unhealthy ways. This is a message reminding us that here is yet another opportunity to reclaim our wholeness.
Many people will relate not only to the familiar feeling of emptiness within that is the result of denying our true selves, but also to the habit of trying to use constant activity, food or drugs in an attempt to fill this hole. This response doesn’t work, as we are really seeking to reunite with our undivided, original state of being.
Here is a simple process I learned years ago in a workshop that helps reveal adaptive behavior and begin the healing. It involves going back in our mind’s eye to childhood, and visualizing the house and all the people who strongly influenced our early lives. Coming from mature awareness and love, we then initiate conversations with individual family members. We can feel free to express any feelings – including anger – and to tell them what we needed in childhood and didn’t receive.
Then take a sheet of paper and place two headings at the top of the page: Challenges and Reactions. Below on the left-hand side of the paper write down the names of all the individuals involved, starting with the parents.
As an example, under Challenges, next to my mother’s name, I wrote: “She paid no attention to me.” Under Reactions I wrote: “I try to be perfect to please her; I rebel against her.” For my father, I wrote under Challenges: “He’s hardly ever at home; he cares for me and I know it, but he is not involved in my life.” And my Reaction was: “I try to please him and to get close to him; I pay no attention to him.”
Continue the writing until a clear picture develops of the adaptive behavior we have chosen in childhood. For example, I discovered that initially I tried to be perfect, compliant and never to express anger. By the time I was ten years old, I had turned my attention and focus to the external world, assuming that by shutting the memories out of my mind and forging ahead, I wouldn’t be touched by it any more. I was wrong.
The first required healing step is to do forgiveness work for ourselves and for our family members, whether they are alive or not. This is essential and must be continued for as long as it takes. I recommend saying as often as possible: I freely and wholly forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to me, or to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive (name) ________ for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free. They are free.
The next stage is to use our new awareness to stop the unconscious adaptive behavior by strengthening and supporting our true selves. I recommend repeating as often as possible: I love, nurture and cherish myself. I freely give and receive love. I can healthfully express anger and work through differences. I am perfect, whole and complete right now.
With the right attitude and intention, we can go home again, heal our wounded hearts and be free to reclaim our original undivided selves.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
This wasn’t the first time this kind of thing had happened. But it was the first time I consciously recognized the inappropriate reaction for what it was. I was surprised that the emotions were powerful enough to rattle my confidence and knock me off center. Instead of being able to view the situation objectively, I felt the pain of childhood and my wounded heart.
Since I made a decision many years ago to grow through life instead of just going through it, I realized there are often many layers of issues that we need to peel away and clear in order to be free of subconscious thoughts, beliefs and emotions that affect us in undesirable ways. This was certainly true in this instance.
I also knew that some emotional wounding from childhood is inevitable for all of us. Even if we are born into the healthiest family environment imaginable, it happens. When we start out, our lives depend on the responses of those around us, and unless they automatically know what our cries mean and respond quickly, we soon learn that the world can be an unfriendly place.
Also, because children are complex and unique individuals, it would be miraculous for parents to be everything we need in every instance to assure we grow into healthy adults free of any emotional damage. This explains why so many of us, as well as our children and grandchildren, end up with a subconscious laundry list of unmet-unhealed needs that continue to have a powerful impact on our lives.
By the time we’re adults many of us are aware that in order to cope with individual family dynamics, we had to suppress parts of ourselves and take on adaptive behavior in order to fit into or survive in a specific environment. Psychologists call this adaptive behavior a “false” or “disowned self.” This type of behavior can result from any form of dysfunctional parenting that causes a child to change his or her natural responses in order to cope with the situation. In extreme cases, it happens when a child tries to escape the wrath of an abusive parent.
We create this false self to mask the hurt of giving up our original God-given wholeness. This adaptive behavior separates us from our true selves and disallows any true intimacy with ourselves or anyone else.
Later on, as adults, when we don’t get what we need or want from life or our significant others, the emotional energy connected to our unhealed issues will bubble up from our subconscious, often in unhealthy ways. This is a message reminding us that here is yet another opportunity to reclaim our wholeness.
Many people will relate not only to the familiar feeling of emptiness within that is the result of denying our true selves, but also to the habit of trying to use constant activity, food or drugs in an attempt to fill this hole. This response doesn’t work, as we are really seeking to reunite with our undivided, original state of being.
Here is a simple process I learned years ago in a workshop that helps reveal adaptive behavior and begin the healing. It involves going back in our mind’s eye to childhood, and visualizing the house and all the people who strongly influenced our early lives. Coming from mature awareness and love, we then initiate conversations with individual family members. We can feel free to express any feelings – including anger – and to tell them what we needed in childhood and didn’t receive.
Then take a sheet of paper and place two headings at the top of the page: Challenges and Reactions. Below on the left-hand side of the paper write down the names of all the individuals involved, starting with the parents.
As an example, under Challenges, next to my mother’s name, I wrote: “She paid no attention to me.” Under Reactions I wrote: “I try to be perfect to please her; I rebel against her.” For my father, I wrote under Challenges: “He’s hardly ever at home; he cares for me and I know it, but he is not involved in my life.” And my Reaction was: “I try to please him and to get close to him; I pay no attention to him.”
Continue the writing until a clear picture develops of the adaptive behavior we have chosen in childhood. For example, I discovered that initially I tried to be perfect, compliant and never to express anger. By the time I was ten years old, I had turned my attention and focus to the external world, assuming that by shutting the memories out of my mind and forging ahead, I wouldn’t be touched by it any more. I was wrong.
The first required healing step is to do forgiveness work for ourselves and for our family members, whether they are alive or not. This is essential and must be continued for as long as it takes. I recommend saying as often as possible: I freely and wholly forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to me, or to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive (name) ________ for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free. They are free.
The next stage is to use our new awareness to stop the unconscious adaptive behavior by strengthening and supporting our true selves. I recommend repeating as often as possible: I love, nurture and cherish myself. I freely give and receive love. I can healthfully express anger and work through differences. I am perfect, whole and complete right now.
With the right attitude and intention, we can go home again, heal our wounded hearts and be free to reclaim our original undivided selves.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Facing Dangerous Times Requires More Than Duct Tape and a First-Aid Kit
Like many others who have been untouched personally by the storms, major floods, hurricanes, wildfires and chemical spills that often fill the news, I never felt compelled to prepare for such emergencies. Yet there I was at a Sunday spiritual service, and it was announced that the Governor had sent out a request to all faith-based organizations in our state asking for help in encouraging citizens to prepare for possible emergencies.
My first thought was, what does this have to do with me? As I sat there, however, I realized that I had lulled myself into a false sense of security. Just because I didn’t want to contemplate the possibility of another terrorist attack on American soil, or that some natural or man-made disaster could devastate my own life, doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
Bolstering my head-in-the sand attitude was the fact that I also subscribe to the belief that what you focus on you draw to you, and I didn’t want to add any energy to the existing fear about any future threats or disasters. Fortunately the speaker’s advice was in line with that thinking, as well as being sane, sensible and imminently practical.
The first recommended response was to become as knowledgeable as possible. I was familiar with the old adage that being forewarned is being forearmed and could certainly go along with that. I also realized that in the dangerous times in which we live, the better part of wisdom would be to acknowledge that being prepared for any emergency is a wise thing to do.
I went to the Internet and looked up the online emergency preparedness address sponsored by the state in which I live. It spells out practical and economical ways in which to protect ourselves and our loved ones. It included the following key items: Developing a family communication plan so that in case of emergency we can contact family members; writing down important telephone numbers and keeping them with us at all times; designating a meeting place in case an evacuation is required; buying a battery operated radio with extra batteries in case of loss of electrical power; and finding out what you should have in a basic Disaster Supplies Kit.
The components of the Disaster Kit were somewhat surprising. I would never have thought of anything beyond the necessary food and water, medical prescriptions, first-aid kits, duct tape and plastic sheeting. The surprises included: some emergency cash (always a good idea), copies of insurance papers and other valuable documents – and putting together two kits, one for the house and one for the car.
The second half of the speaker’s two-part emergency preparedness plan was equally wise. We were reminded that it is stressful, counterproductive and unhealthy to be fearful and to worry about what might happen, as we can’t control natural disasters or other traumatic events.
As she emphasized the importance of staying calm and centered, I realized that this is much easier to do when we’ve consciously faced the situation and made any practical and reasonable preparations. Doing what we can ahead of time enables us to relax and stay in the present moment, which is where peace lives.
We can also support this position of strength by feeding positive statements-affirmations into our subconscious so that we are prepared spiritually and emotionally as well as practically. I recommend repeating the following daily: I am always in my right place at the right time and know exactly what to do. I am divinely guided, guarded and protected. All is well.
By taking back our power and being proactive, we release the victim role, and are able to live free of fear and angst, which adds greatly to the common good. Then, when and if something untoward happens, we are better equipped to help ourselves, our loved ones and others.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
My first thought was, what does this have to do with me? As I sat there, however, I realized that I had lulled myself into a false sense of security. Just because I didn’t want to contemplate the possibility of another terrorist attack on American soil, or that some natural or man-made disaster could devastate my own life, doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
Bolstering my head-in-the sand attitude was the fact that I also subscribe to the belief that what you focus on you draw to you, and I didn’t want to add any energy to the existing fear about any future threats or disasters. Fortunately the speaker’s advice was in line with that thinking, as well as being sane, sensible and imminently practical.
The first recommended response was to become as knowledgeable as possible. I was familiar with the old adage that being forewarned is being forearmed and could certainly go along with that. I also realized that in the dangerous times in which we live, the better part of wisdom would be to acknowledge that being prepared for any emergency is a wise thing to do.
I went to the Internet and looked up the online emergency preparedness address sponsored by the state in which I live. It spells out practical and economical ways in which to protect ourselves and our loved ones. It included the following key items: Developing a family communication plan so that in case of emergency we can contact family members; writing down important telephone numbers and keeping them with us at all times; designating a meeting place in case an evacuation is required; buying a battery operated radio with extra batteries in case of loss of electrical power; and finding out what you should have in a basic Disaster Supplies Kit.
The components of the Disaster Kit were somewhat surprising. I would never have thought of anything beyond the necessary food and water, medical prescriptions, first-aid kits, duct tape and plastic sheeting. The surprises included: some emergency cash (always a good idea), copies of insurance papers and other valuable documents – and putting together two kits, one for the house and one for the car.
The second half of the speaker’s two-part emergency preparedness plan was equally wise. We were reminded that it is stressful, counterproductive and unhealthy to be fearful and to worry about what might happen, as we can’t control natural disasters or other traumatic events.
As she emphasized the importance of staying calm and centered, I realized that this is much easier to do when we’ve consciously faced the situation and made any practical and reasonable preparations. Doing what we can ahead of time enables us to relax and stay in the present moment, which is where peace lives.
We can also support this position of strength by feeding positive statements-affirmations into our subconscious so that we are prepared spiritually and emotionally as well as practically. I recommend repeating the following daily: I am always in my right place at the right time and know exactly what to do. I am divinely guided, guarded and protected. All is well.
By taking back our power and being proactive, we release the victim role, and are able to live free of fear and angst, which adds greatly to the common good. Then, when and if something untoward happens, we are better equipped to help ourselves, our loved ones and others.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Turning Kids Into Healthy Adults
My granddaughter will turn thirteen this week, and her brother will soon be sixteen. I have been thinking a lot about each of them lately, as well as the many other youngsters who are poised on the cusp of adulthood. Many of our children today are looking outside the family for role models and turning to young celebrities, which is a cause for concern. The problem is that when these famous child-stars leave the movie studios, concert halls or sports stadiums they sometimes have serious trouble coping with their lives.
It should be of intense national concern that there is such a general lack of attention, awareness and preparation for this incredibly important rite of passage from childhood to adulthood. Yet, how successfully or unsuccessfully our children negotiate this time will have repercussions for years to come for everyone concerned, including society as a whole.
Our nation’s children need to know how amazing and precious they are and that each one is a unique and necessary part of life on Earth. They need to know the value of adhering to a high code of ethics, that their actions have consequences, how to create healthy relationships, as well as how to control their minds, emotions and finances. In this way, they can successfully grow from childhood to adulthood and create meaningful and fulfilling lives that benefit humanity and our planet.
Surely we can come up with something better than merely observing the now universally accepted rites of passage of getting a driver’s license, buying alcohol or getting tattooed or pierced.
Throughout history, far less complex societies than ours saw the need and came up with some sort of training program that when completed marked a child’s transition into adulthood and also their acceptance of responsibility as a full-fledged contributing member of their tribe or community.
While it is no longer appropriate for a young boy to track, kill and drag home some wild beast to fulfill his claim to manhood, there still exists some primitive instinct in teenagers that drives them to seek some external action to prove s/he is a grownup. When there is not enough support, guidance or positive influence from family, the teens automatically turn to their peers, who don’t know any more than they do, to seek an outlet for this inner urge.
The danger in that default “parenting” is that the act can include such serious options as the use of alcohol, drugs, cars, sex and/or a strong show of bravado, which may include getting into fights and destroying property, harming others and/or rebelling against school, parents and all authority.
I thought back to something Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book “The Prophet.” He said that as parents we are the bow and our children and grandchildren are the arrows into the future. These young adults hold not only their own future, but the fate of our planet in their hands. With a challenging time facing us in every area of life on Earth, we must do much more to help our children negotiate the perilous passage from childhood to adulthood.
Since many parents today don’t know how to help prepare children for adulthood, or they handle it poorly, there must be another way in which we can rescue millions of youngsters who may end up becoming sad statistics instead of functioning members of society.
This could be done through the existing school system. There is hardly a thinking parent, teacher – or politician who doesn’t already know that we need a new vision of education in our country that will bring our educational system into this century and actually prepare students for the future they will inherit.
Looking at this situation from a wiser and more visionary approach would show our children that not only are they our most precious legacy; they are our nation’s highest priority. In the process, we would be giving them the tools to become fully conscious and aware adults – the real purpose of education – and to take their place as contributing members of society and protectors of our planet.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
It should be of intense national concern that there is such a general lack of attention, awareness and preparation for this incredibly important rite of passage from childhood to adulthood. Yet, how successfully or unsuccessfully our children negotiate this time will have repercussions for years to come for everyone concerned, including society as a whole.
Our nation’s children need to know how amazing and precious they are and that each one is a unique and necessary part of life on Earth. They need to know the value of adhering to a high code of ethics, that their actions have consequences, how to create healthy relationships, as well as how to control their minds, emotions and finances. In this way, they can successfully grow from childhood to adulthood and create meaningful and fulfilling lives that benefit humanity and our planet.
Surely we can come up with something better than merely observing the now universally accepted rites of passage of getting a driver’s license, buying alcohol or getting tattooed or pierced.
Throughout history, far less complex societies than ours saw the need and came up with some sort of training program that when completed marked a child’s transition into adulthood and also their acceptance of responsibility as a full-fledged contributing member of their tribe or community.
While it is no longer appropriate for a young boy to track, kill and drag home some wild beast to fulfill his claim to manhood, there still exists some primitive instinct in teenagers that drives them to seek some external action to prove s/he is a grownup. When there is not enough support, guidance or positive influence from family, the teens automatically turn to their peers, who don’t know any more than they do, to seek an outlet for this inner urge.
The danger in that default “parenting” is that the act can include such serious options as the use of alcohol, drugs, cars, sex and/or a strong show of bravado, which may include getting into fights and destroying property, harming others and/or rebelling against school, parents and all authority.
I thought back to something Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book “The Prophet.” He said that as parents we are the bow and our children and grandchildren are the arrows into the future. These young adults hold not only their own future, but the fate of our planet in their hands. With a challenging time facing us in every area of life on Earth, we must do much more to help our children negotiate the perilous passage from childhood to adulthood.
Since many parents today don’t know how to help prepare children for adulthood, or they handle it poorly, there must be another way in which we can rescue millions of youngsters who may end up becoming sad statistics instead of functioning members of society.
This could be done through the existing school system. There is hardly a thinking parent, teacher – or politician who doesn’t already know that we need a new vision of education in our country that will bring our educational system into this century and actually prepare students for the future they will inherit.
Looking at this situation from a wiser and more visionary approach would show our children that not only are they our most precious legacy; they are our nation’s highest priority. In the process, we would be giving them the tools to become fully conscious and aware adults – the real purpose of education – and to take their place as contributing members of society and protectors of our planet.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Dealing With the Dysfunction Around Us
A few weeks ago, I started to question why I was hooked on watching “The Office,” a television sit-com in which the main character is a real jerk, someone who is smugly unconscious of his inappropriate behavior. At first I thought it was because the lead actor is so perfectly cast in the role. But I soon realized it was because I could relate to such a dysfunctional office environment.
Years ago I worked in corporate offices where in one instance it was a co-worker and in another it was the department manager who specialized in backstabbing, gossiping, trying to turn individuals against each other and, in general, exhibiting egotistical, dysfunctional [inappropriate] and unacceptable behavior.
In looking back, I realized that the really annoying and frustrating part of those situations was that I felt helpless to change them. It didn’t take too much reflection to recognize that like many others I also have a family member who exhibits similar behavior. Not a big surprise, as John Bradshaw, a bestselling author and leader in the field of family health, says that 97% of families in America are dysfunctional, and the other 3% are lying.
For the countless number of us who find ourselves on the receiving end of such behavior, whatever the source, there’s nothing funny about it. I also realized that I had spent way too much time and life energy in a variety of loving approaches to this problem, none of which changed the problem externally or allowed me to come to peace with the situation. So, I sought the help of a retired physician who in his lengthy career has counseled many individuals on how to achieve healthy relationships.
The first thing I learned was that in most cases the dysfunctional person doesn’t have a clue that their behavior is annoying, hurtful, objectionable, or inappropriate. He further explained that most people who exhibit such behavior are usually surprised and shocked when they discover, if they ever do, how their behavior is viewed by others.
At first I found this difficult to accept, but eventually I had to concede that all we have to do is take a look around us to know the truth in his statement. Many of us don’t have any idea of what a healthy relationship looks like or what it takes to create one – such as an awareness of how our behavior affects others.
He said that one of the core reasons for toxic or dysfunctional behavior is that rarely does anyone have the courage to confront the offenders, especially if it is a family member. He offered a practical solution that, ideally, should start in childhood. If parents and other family members observe dysfunctional behavior – such as inappropriate displays of anger or acting on invalid beliefs and misperceptions – they could try correcting and guiding them into more acceptable behavior patterns. If this proves unsuccessful, this would be the time to seek professional help.
Our normal tendency, however, as he pointed out, is to be extremely cautious about confronting those who can make our lives miserable. In the workplace situation, for example, he said it would require sensitivity, tact and wisdom. All we needed to do, he said, was take the situation to the highest level of management – which has a vested interest in employee satisfaction and safety – explain the situation, and request that a code of conduct be drafted that covered everyone and would be enforced up to and including being dismissed.
When it was time for the expert to comment on my personal situation, he acknowledged the fact that my family’s lack of positive action to resolve the situation was also dysfunctional and resulted in a no-win situation for all concerned. He said when our family chose to silently condone the dysfunctional behavior, the victims were in a position of being doubly wronged, and the perpetrator never learned correct behavior.
While the information was a balm to the wounded child part of me that ended up feeling unloved and unworthy, I was still left with a nagging desire for some sort of closure and inner peace.
As a closing comment, he simply lowered his voice and said softly, “Fern, the primary purpose of human relationships is to learn to identify and resolve our own internal thoughts, beliefs, patterns and needs, and in the process to expand our conscious awareness and truly love ourselves.”
This profound and simple statement pulled me up out of the emotions surrounding “my story.” I not only got the lesson, I knew the answer was within me, had absolutely nothing to do with the other person and was something I had to do for myself.
When we find ourselves in any undesirable situation, no matter the source, there are lessons in it for us; otherwise, we wouldn’t be involved in it. I also knew that the first step in resolving the issue was to stop blaming the other person and to stop repeating the painful stories to ourselves and others. Under the law of attraction, ignoring that advice simply continues to draw to us more of the same. The final and most challenging step for many of us is to look within and heal the part of us that bought into the fallacy that we are unlovable and unworthy. This is what attracts such experiences to us.
I was also acutely aware of the fact that we have no control over the behavior of another human being. The good news, however, is that we hold the key to resolving these issues within us. The lesson learned: When we love, honor and respect ourselves, we will not attract people to us who seek a vulnerable target for their suppressed anger and other unresolved life issues.
[To learn Ten Steps to Healthy Relationships, go to: www.FernStewartWelch.com, and click on How-to Lists at the top.]
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Years ago I worked in corporate offices where in one instance it was a co-worker and in another it was the department manager who specialized in backstabbing, gossiping, trying to turn individuals against each other and, in general, exhibiting egotistical, dysfunctional [inappropriate] and unacceptable behavior.
In looking back, I realized that the really annoying and frustrating part of those situations was that I felt helpless to change them. It didn’t take too much reflection to recognize that like many others I also have a family member who exhibits similar behavior. Not a big surprise, as John Bradshaw, a bestselling author and leader in the field of family health, says that 97% of families in America are dysfunctional, and the other 3% are lying.
For the countless number of us who find ourselves on the receiving end of such behavior, whatever the source, there’s nothing funny about it. I also realized that I had spent way too much time and life energy in a variety of loving approaches to this problem, none of which changed the problem externally or allowed me to come to peace with the situation. So, I sought the help of a retired physician who in his lengthy career has counseled many individuals on how to achieve healthy relationships.
The first thing I learned was that in most cases the dysfunctional person doesn’t have a clue that their behavior is annoying, hurtful, objectionable, or inappropriate. He further explained that most people who exhibit such behavior are usually surprised and shocked when they discover, if they ever do, how their behavior is viewed by others.
At first I found this difficult to accept, but eventually I had to concede that all we have to do is take a look around us to know the truth in his statement. Many of us don’t have any idea of what a healthy relationship looks like or what it takes to create one – such as an awareness of how our behavior affects others.
He said that one of the core reasons for toxic or dysfunctional behavior is that rarely does anyone have the courage to confront the offenders, especially if it is a family member. He offered a practical solution that, ideally, should start in childhood. If parents and other family members observe dysfunctional behavior – such as inappropriate displays of anger or acting on invalid beliefs and misperceptions – they could try correcting and guiding them into more acceptable behavior patterns. If this proves unsuccessful, this would be the time to seek professional help.
Our normal tendency, however, as he pointed out, is to be extremely cautious about confronting those who can make our lives miserable. In the workplace situation, for example, he said it would require sensitivity, tact and wisdom. All we needed to do, he said, was take the situation to the highest level of management – which has a vested interest in employee satisfaction and safety – explain the situation, and request that a code of conduct be drafted that covered everyone and would be enforced up to and including being dismissed.
When it was time for the expert to comment on my personal situation, he acknowledged the fact that my family’s lack of positive action to resolve the situation was also dysfunctional and resulted in a no-win situation for all concerned. He said when our family chose to silently condone the dysfunctional behavior, the victims were in a position of being doubly wronged, and the perpetrator never learned correct behavior.
While the information was a balm to the wounded child part of me that ended up feeling unloved and unworthy, I was still left with a nagging desire for some sort of closure and inner peace.
As a closing comment, he simply lowered his voice and said softly, “Fern, the primary purpose of human relationships is to learn to identify and resolve our own internal thoughts, beliefs, patterns and needs, and in the process to expand our conscious awareness and truly love ourselves.”
This profound and simple statement pulled me up out of the emotions surrounding “my story.” I not only got the lesson, I knew the answer was within me, had absolutely nothing to do with the other person and was something I had to do for myself.
When we find ourselves in any undesirable situation, no matter the source, there are lessons in it for us; otherwise, we wouldn’t be involved in it. I also knew that the first step in resolving the issue was to stop blaming the other person and to stop repeating the painful stories to ourselves and others. Under the law of attraction, ignoring that advice simply continues to draw to us more of the same. The final and most challenging step for many of us is to look within and heal the part of us that bought into the fallacy that we are unlovable and unworthy. This is what attracts such experiences to us.
I was also acutely aware of the fact that we have no control over the behavior of another human being. The good news, however, is that we hold the key to resolving these issues within us. The lesson learned: When we love, honor and respect ourselves, we will not attract people to us who seek a vulnerable target for their suppressed anger and other unresolved life issues.
[To learn Ten Steps to Healthy Relationships, go to: www.FernStewartWelch.com, and click on How-to Lists at the top.]
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, September 15, 2008
The Secret to Having Dreams Come True
I recently watched Tom Hanks being interviewed on a television talk show. The host asked him what it felt like to be the most famous and respected male movie star in the world. Hanks replied by naming a half-dozen other well-known male performers who started out when he did, and explained in his usual charming and self-effacing manner that he was simply “the last man standing.”
While attrition may have had some small role in his success, it certainly wasn’t the primary part. I think Tom Hanks had a dream and just kept on positively moving toward it. His further comments confirmed the fact that through the years he was so filled with the love of acting that he found great joy and happiness each day in plying his craft. Instead of hankering – pun intended – for the huge success-outcome to hurry up and manifest, he was happy to be doing what he loved. Tom Hanks obviously wears his success comfortably as the natural progression of his journey, which it is, and from all external appearance he is living a fulfilling and joyous life.
We can do the same. As simple as it sounds, however, the challenge is that in order to have a dream come true, we must have an identifiable dream. I believe that each and every one of us was born on this Earth to fulfill some mission-purpose that is uniquely ours. Some individuals know this when they are as young as three years old, as a friend of mind did. Gladys Taylor McGarey, M.D., knew that she was to be a doctor and never wavered from this dream. Actually, she became the acknowledged mother of holistic medicine in America.
For those of us who didn’t come in with such strong intuitive guidance or such a large dream, the steps to take to discover our mission-purpose are well known and fairly simple. First of all, we can begin by making a list of what we think are our heart’s desires, our gifts and abilities. We continue working on this and making adjustments, plumbing the depths of us, until what we’ve written resonates within our heart, mind and soul.
When we are secure that we know our unique dream, we commit it to memory, write it out as a positive affirmation/statement and place it where we will see it often throughout the day. We then use it as the focal point of our lives. Our responsibility is to remain focused, do the best we can each day and to trust the universe to determine when and how our dreams are fulfilled.
Remember, just knowing our mission doesn’t mean it will automatically manifest in our lives. Will Rogers once said, “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” Fulfillment of our dreams and heart’s desires is not achieved by sitting around and waiting for life to zap them on us. All we learn is a variety of ways in which to fritter away our precious time on Earth.
Even if the world seems to be setting up roadblocks against us, we must continue to move in the direction of our dreams. We must hold firm and know that something deep within us knows the way. Even if life’s circumstances move us along paths that we think are diametrically opposed to where we want to go, we must continue believing in, holding fast to and moving toward our dreams, no matter how small the actions we are able to take may be.
In the interim, it is important to appreciate every bit of happiness and fulfillment we experience each day, and to have an attitude of gratitude. Anguishing over the past or worrying about the future causes many people to miss the joy of living in the present and cherishing every moment of life, which is the path to true happiness.
Calvin Coolidge may not be as famous as Tom Hanks is today, but what he had to say pretty much sums up the secret to achieving our dreams: “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent …”
_________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
While attrition may have had some small role in his success, it certainly wasn’t the primary part. I think Tom Hanks had a dream and just kept on positively moving toward it. His further comments confirmed the fact that through the years he was so filled with the love of acting that he found great joy and happiness each day in plying his craft. Instead of hankering – pun intended – for the huge success-outcome to hurry up and manifest, he was happy to be doing what he loved. Tom Hanks obviously wears his success comfortably as the natural progression of his journey, which it is, and from all external appearance he is living a fulfilling and joyous life.
We can do the same. As simple as it sounds, however, the challenge is that in order to have a dream come true, we must have an identifiable dream. I believe that each and every one of us was born on this Earth to fulfill some mission-purpose that is uniquely ours. Some individuals know this when they are as young as three years old, as a friend of mind did. Gladys Taylor McGarey, M.D., knew that she was to be a doctor and never wavered from this dream. Actually, she became the acknowledged mother of holistic medicine in America.
For those of us who didn’t come in with such strong intuitive guidance or such a large dream, the steps to take to discover our mission-purpose are well known and fairly simple. First of all, we can begin by making a list of what we think are our heart’s desires, our gifts and abilities. We continue working on this and making adjustments, plumbing the depths of us, until what we’ve written resonates within our heart, mind and soul.
When we are secure that we know our unique dream, we commit it to memory, write it out as a positive affirmation/statement and place it where we will see it often throughout the day. We then use it as the focal point of our lives. Our responsibility is to remain focused, do the best we can each day and to trust the universe to determine when and how our dreams are fulfilled.
Remember, just knowing our mission doesn’t mean it will automatically manifest in our lives. Will Rogers once said, “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” Fulfillment of our dreams and heart’s desires is not achieved by sitting around and waiting for life to zap them on us. All we learn is a variety of ways in which to fritter away our precious time on Earth.
Even if the world seems to be setting up roadblocks against us, we must continue to move in the direction of our dreams. We must hold firm and know that something deep within us knows the way. Even if life’s circumstances move us along paths that we think are diametrically opposed to where we want to go, we must continue believing in, holding fast to and moving toward our dreams, no matter how small the actions we are able to take may be.
In the interim, it is important to appreciate every bit of happiness and fulfillment we experience each day, and to have an attitude of gratitude. Anguishing over the past or worrying about the future causes many people to miss the joy of living in the present and cherishing every moment of life, which is the path to true happiness.
Calvin Coolidge may not be as famous as Tom Hanks is today, but what he had to say pretty much sums up the secret to achieving our dreams: “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent …”
_________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Living by Choice Instead of by Default
Did you know that when there is a choice to make, and we don’t make it, that is also a choice? For many of us the fact that we had any choices in life was never really obvious to us. By the time we looked up, life had already happened to us and it seemed the only option possible was to make the best of it.
At some point in time, we may have wondered why our lives didn’t turn out more like the classic love-redeems-all movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” in which the main character also experiences unfortunate life events but emerges the most beloved man in town.
When that thought arises and there doesn’t seem to be any hope for reversing our negative cycle, we feel helpless. Many people in this situation are resigned to just “putting in their time,” as they believe the light at the end of the tunnel for them is a knowing that at some point it will all be over.
It doesn’t have to be that way. There is another choice, and when we choose to follow it at any time in our lives, it opens up the opportunity to consciously move out of the victim role, which is living by default, and deliberately creating fulfilling, meaningful and joyous lives.
The original concept for doing this has been known for centuries, and now more and more people are becoming aware of the fact that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives.
What most people aren’t aware of, however, is the parameters that must be met in order to be successful in this process. For example, our desires need to resonate with truth at the core of our being. We must love ourselves enough to allow good into our lives. And we need to know our beliefs and priorities so that we will have a standard by which to measure our progress, as well as to make decisions easier, which helps us stay on track.
I know that may sound complicated, but before you make the choice to give up without giving it a chance, here is the good news. The true secret lies in making one simple choice. That choice will lift us out of victimhood, living by default, and give us the ability to realize the lives we truly desire. That “choice” is to go within and learn what we need to know about ourselves so that we can change our lives.
For those who may resist taking the inner journey, I offer the following: For a number of years I mistakenly believed that everything in life of any note was generated by activity in the external world. I certainly didn’t think I needed to spend time contemplating my navel. But I have known for a long time now that the opposite is true. Life is meant to work from the inside of us out.
I also resisted looking within because I was afraid of what I would find. What I discovered, to my great relief and pleasant surprise, was a sanctuary of unconditional love, support and wisdom that is within everyone and everything in the universe. I also learned that when we consciously align with this energy-intelligence-love, it automatically says yes to our conscious choices and actively assists in manifesting them in our life experience.
In choosing to live from the love, peace, happiness and trust in life that resides within us, we will naturally be drawn to choosing and expressing a more loving, harmonious and balanced state of being. As we become more positive and accepting of our good, this opens a path for all the health, abundance and goodness we consciously choose, and can accept, to be available to us. We are no longer living by default, but by choice.
We are now and always have been the point of power in our lives. At any moment we can choose to reclaim our power and begin to choose the lives we desire for ourselves and our loved ones.
The only question is: Do we continue playing the role of victim and allowing life to happen to us by drifting into default? Or do we choose to step up and own the fact that we are the central character, the star, of our own lives? We are also the producer, director, scriptwriter and casting director. We are always free to create a comedy, a drama, a tragedy, a series of unfortunate events or a wonderful life. The choice is ours.
____________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
At some point in time, we may have wondered why our lives didn’t turn out more like the classic love-redeems-all movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” in which the main character also experiences unfortunate life events but emerges the most beloved man in town.
When that thought arises and there doesn’t seem to be any hope for reversing our negative cycle, we feel helpless. Many people in this situation are resigned to just “putting in their time,” as they believe the light at the end of the tunnel for them is a knowing that at some point it will all be over.
It doesn’t have to be that way. There is another choice, and when we choose to follow it at any time in our lives, it opens up the opportunity to consciously move out of the victim role, which is living by default, and deliberately creating fulfilling, meaningful and joyous lives.
The original concept for doing this has been known for centuries, and now more and more people are becoming aware of the fact that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives.
What most people aren’t aware of, however, is the parameters that must be met in order to be successful in this process. For example, our desires need to resonate with truth at the core of our being. We must love ourselves enough to allow good into our lives. And we need to know our beliefs and priorities so that we will have a standard by which to measure our progress, as well as to make decisions easier, which helps us stay on track.
I know that may sound complicated, but before you make the choice to give up without giving it a chance, here is the good news. The true secret lies in making one simple choice. That choice will lift us out of victimhood, living by default, and give us the ability to realize the lives we truly desire. That “choice” is to go within and learn what we need to know about ourselves so that we can change our lives.
For those who may resist taking the inner journey, I offer the following: For a number of years I mistakenly believed that everything in life of any note was generated by activity in the external world. I certainly didn’t think I needed to spend time contemplating my navel. But I have known for a long time now that the opposite is true. Life is meant to work from the inside of us out.
I also resisted looking within because I was afraid of what I would find. What I discovered, to my great relief and pleasant surprise, was a sanctuary of unconditional love, support and wisdom that is within everyone and everything in the universe. I also learned that when we consciously align with this energy-intelligence-love, it automatically says yes to our conscious choices and actively assists in manifesting them in our life experience.
In choosing to live from the love, peace, happiness and trust in life that resides within us, we will naturally be drawn to choosing and expressing a more loving, harmonious and balanced state of being. As we become more positive and accepting of our good, this opens a path for all the health, abundance and goodness we consciously choose, and can accept, to be available to us. We are no longer living by default, but by choice.
We are now and always have been the point of power in our lives. At any moment we can choose to reclaim our power and begin to choose the lives we desire for ourselves and our loved ones.
The only question is: Do we continue playing the role of victim and allowing life to happen to us by drifting into default? Or do we choose to step up and own the fact that we are the central character, the star, of our own lives? We are also the producer, director, scriptwriter and casting director. We are always free to create a comedy, a drama, a tragedy, a series of unfortunate events or a wonderful life. The choice is ours.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Loving Self Is the Key to Life's Problems
While the name of the speaker and the event are long gone from my memory bank, I still recall his words, almost verbatim. He said that our Good wants us as badly as we want it, and it is bearing down on us like a two-ton truck. The only one who can slow it down or stop it is us. The speaker also explained that the powerful energy of our abundant universe is all-loving, pure and good and seeking to express through us. As an example of how we thwart the process, he cited a garden hose that allows the water to flow through freely until we either step on the hose, causing a temporary stoppage, or turn off the faucet, which shuts off the flow at the source.
Our habit of “stepping on the hose” or shutting off our Good is actually regulated by the love we hold for ourselves. How much we truly love ourselves is apparent in the quality of our lives – as we, and we alone, determine how much Good, if any – we can allow into our lives.
Since loving ourselves is such a vital element in living successful lives, I couldn’t help but think about the way in which our culture has traditionally viewed this matter. While I was growing up, it didn’t take long for me to learn that it wasn’t acceptable to think highly of one’s self as this was considered arrogant, egotistical and wrong. Our families, schools and churches reinforced the message that “being full of ourselves” was a character flaw that would ruin our lives. It was drummed into us that we were always to place others before ourselves, which translated into meaning we were less deserving and less lovable than others.
What an incredible relief to know that what we need to be successful and happy in life is healthy self-love, and this has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with any of the invalid and false beliefs of the past. The truth is that we are born with a natural love of self, in which we accept and honor our gifts and abilities, and have no false sense of humility. Without any interference from others, we would automatically use this base of self-love to achieve success in every area of our lives.
No wonder all the great spiritual teachers throughout the ages realized this was a problem area and counseled us to turn within and know ourselves, for in this knowing we become aware of and can reclaim this healthy self-love. Actually, it is one of the most important things we will ever do. In truly knowing ourselves, we discover that we are one with all that is loving, pure, good and true in the universe. As we align with our inner selves, and accept that this is the truth of us, we realize that we are imminently lovable and deserving of all the good there is.
Once we realize this, we can also understand completely that thinking and believing otherwise about ourselves is what has kept us from allowing good into our lives. Our first reaction is to try to change these negative thoughts and beliefs, but until we know what beliefs we hold, we can’t replace them with positive statements.
Here is a simple way to expose these unloving and powerful directives that have determined our lives for many years. Take sheets of paper and begin by selecting one word and writing it at the top of each page. You can use words like health, love, money, success, self, relationships, life – or any others that occur to you. Write out what you believe about each one and continue writing until what you have written registers as truth at the core of your being. Your “gut” doesn’t lie. If any of your beliefs are negative, this is your cue to start replacing them with positive statements.
No matter the problems in our lives, the remedy lies in connecting with the love that is inherent within us. Everything we have experienced thus far has been created by the thoughts and beliefs of the past. What we are thinking right now will become our future. The point of power is within us at this very moment. We can choose to connect with and accept the love that is within us, which frees our Good to flow to us unimpeded, pressed down and running over.
Here are several powerful affirmations that I repeat as often as possible: I love and approve of myself right now. All the Good I desire is mine now, and flows to me peacefully, joyously, harmoniously with Good for all concerned.
_________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Our habit of “stepping on the hose” or shutting off our Good is actually regulated by the love we hold for ourselves. How much we truly love ourselves is apparent in the quality of our lives – as we, and we alone, determine how much Good, if any – we can allow into our lives.
Since loving ourselves is such a vital element in living successful lives, I couldn’t help but think about the way in which our culture has traditionally viewed this matter. While I was growing up, it didn’t take long for me to learn that it wasn’t acceptable to think highly of one’s self as this was considered arrogant, egotistical and wrong. Our families, schools and churches reinforced the message that “being full of ourselves” was a character flaw that would ruin our lives. It was drummed into us that we were always to place others before ourselves, which translated into meaning we were less deserving and less lovable than others.
What an incredible relief to know that what we need to be successful and happy in life is healthy self-love, and this has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with any of the invalid and false beliefs of the past. The truth is that we are born with a natural love of self, in which we accept and honor our gifts and abilities, and have no false sense of humility. Without any interference from others, we would automatically use this base of self-love to achieve success in every area of our lives.
No wonder all the great spiritual teachers throughout the ages realized this was a problem area and counseled us to turn within and know ourselves, for in this knowing we become aware of and can reclaim this healthy self-love. Actually, it is one of the most important things we will ever do. In truly knowing ourselves, we discover that we are one with all that is loving, pure, good and true in the universe. As we align with our inner selves, and accept that this is the truth of us, we realize that we are imminently lovable and deserving of all the good there is.
Once we realize this, we can also understand completely that thinking and believing otherwise about ourselves is what has kept us from allowing good into our lives. Our first reaction is to try to change these negative thoughts and beliefs, but until we know what beliefs we hold, we can’t replace them with positive statements.
Here is a simple way to expose these unloving and powerful directives that have determined our lives for many years. Take sheets of paper and begin by selecting one word and writing it at the top of each page. You can use words like health, love, money, success, self, relationships, life – or any others that occur to you. Write out what you believe about each one and continue writing until what you have written registers as truth at the core of your being. Your “gut” doesn’t lie. If any of your beliefs are negative, this is your cue to start replacing them with positive statements.
No matter the problems in our lives, the remedy lies in connecting with the love that is inherent within us. Everything we have experienced thus far has been created by the thoughts and beliefs of the past. What we are thinking right now will become our future. The point of power is within us at this very moment. We can choose to connect with and accept the love that is within us, which frees our Good to flow to us unimpeded, pressed down and running over.
Here are several powerful affirmations that I repeat as often as possible: I love and approve of myself right now. All the Good I desire is mine now, and flows to me peacefully, joyously, harmoniously with Good for all concerned.
_________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
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