There is no way to minimize the huge problems we face in our world. I have written about the lack of honesty, integrity, morals and ethics, as well as commonsense, that has become pandemic. And if that decline wasn’t bad enough in itself, it has spawned a culture of insatiable greed that permeates every level of our lives.
I added some other challenges, including pollution, the politicizing of critical issues, global warming, over-population, healthcare, war, terrorism, religious differences, illegal immigration, poverty, and economic problems – along with the widespread lack of understanding by individuals as to what to do about these seemingly unsolvable challenges.
Then I mixed in the fact that we are in the midst of a transformational change brought on by the speed with which technological advances are becoming part of our lives. There is already an excessive global reliance on the Internet and we are obsessed with high-tech “toys.” According to the experts, nanotech – the revolutionary science of creating devices and products from single atoms and molecules – will alter life as we know it by the end of this century.
When I paused to take in a breath, a sense of sadness washed over me as the reality of all the difficulties sank in. This was followed immediately by a total lack of interest in continuing to focus on problems. In my opinion we’ve done too much of that already, and all it has done is foster a sense of helplessness and hopelessness.
With that change of thought, up rose pure joy, hope and an expectancy of good because I realized there is something we can do as individuals.
I remembered what some of the masters, spiritual sages and visionaries of the past have said. They described life on Earth as a beautiful banquet of selections from which we have the freedom to choose, and our experience is meant to be as easy and enjoyable as a stroll in the park on a warm sunshiny day.
Naturally, this means that until humanity has evolved enough to make only choices that benefit all life, we will still face serious and confusing challenges. What we need to discover is a path between the ideal we seek and the reality of what is right now. This will help us cope with our fear and resistance to change. Then, instead of opposing change, a constant in life, we will be able to partner with it to co-create better lives while we continue evolving into more conscious and aware human beings.
The concept that great thinkers and spiritual masters have been trying to teach us for eons is simply – It is done unto us as we believe. This means that what we think, believe, say and express on a daily basis becomes reality in our individual lives, as well as contributing to world thought and creating our global experience.
If the results are not desirable, we can change them by changing our thoughts. This is where we acknowledge and accept our own power.
As long as we continue thinking negatively about everything that is going on in our lives and in the world, we remain part of the problem. If we can stop the gloom and doom thinking and blaming others, and start thinking positively, we will change in ways we can’t even imagine. For starters, we will no longer be depressed as we will be part of the solution and victims no more.
While we may not know what the future will look like – how our economies will work, how our health will be preserved, how our children will be educated, how we will use technology rather than allowing it to use us – we can trust that the best-case scenarios are taking place instead of the worst. By focusing our energies, we can help evolution happen by design and in decency and order instead of by default and in chaos and despair – a huge difference.
Current conditions signal that it is time to take responsibility for being a co-creator of what happens on Earth. Here’s my prescription: Put a big smile on your face, laugh and be happy at every possible opportunity, move forward confidently and courageously each day – and repeat the following positive affirmations to anchor in the truth of who we really are: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am eternal, immortal and infinite. I trust in life, change, love, wisdom, wholeness, peace- God. All is well in my life and the world! And So It Is!
____________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Nature's Way ... or, Lending a Helping Hand?
I have written about the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits of being connected with nature and the wonderful events that I have witnessed in our spectacular world. Usually, I am a benevolent bystander with no role except to be in heart-mind bliss as a natural adventure unfolds. This time it was different, and as I later recalled the law of nature – survival of the fittest – I wondered if what I did was appropriate.
About three weeks ago, I realized that for the third year in a row a quail couple had established a nest in one of the flower pots on my back patio. I was thrilled.
My attention was hooked early Sunday evening when I noticed the papa quail pacing back and forth on the patio wall. Mama quail was on the nest. I knew this because every five minutes or so she would loudly and emphatically express something that was obviously very important. It seemed to me that she really wanted papa quail to get her message, so the decibels gradually escalated. His responses were brief and calm.
I was in the house reading a book and could look up and see what was going on. After a couple of hours, the conversation and the behavior became more intense. Now the female was really loud and coming out of the nest every two minutes. The papa quail would then fly down to the ground and for a micro-minute each would pick at tiny seeds, fly into the nest for a split second and then make a hurried flight to the top of the patio wall. The female would pause for a second and then return to the nest and resume the ritualistic behavior of ducking in and out of the nest, while the male continued daddy-duty pacing the wall.
The situation seemed intense and I wondered if something was wrong, so I called several friends seeking advice. I also tried the Internet by googling “Nesting habits of Gambel quail,” and found nothing that would help me.
Just before dark, I saw the female return to the nest and evidently settle in because suddenly all was quiet. I couldn’t see the male, but assumed he maintained his vigil. When I awakened at sunrise, I hurried outside and found the nest abandoned, with three baby chicks peeping away and three eggs that hadn’t hatched and eleven empty shells. Evidently for some reason unknown to me the parents had no option but to leave in order to save the chicks that did make it out of the nest.
I ran to the computer and didn’t give up until I found a site that gave me a name and a local number to call for help. When Jeani Garrett, the director of Arizona Covey, a bird rescue and rehabilitation organization, answered the call, she told me exactly what to do and where to bring the three chicks and any un-hatched eggs as soon as possible.
Realizing that time was of the essence, I thought maybe the chicks had a better chance of making it than the still-intact eggs, so I picked them up with a spoon, placed them on a towel in a small box and made the 25-minute drive to the drop-off spot in 15 minutes. When I was halfway there, the chicks became quiet, and my heart skipped a beat, but after a few minutes the peeping returned and it was even stronger.
When Jeani answered the door, she immediately scooped up the three chicks and lovingly placed them in a huge glass aquarium. It was subdivided into an incubator, intensive care unit and a nursery that held about a hundred peeping and constantly moving baby quail. The sight and sounds lifted my heart and brought tears to my eyes.
She sent me back straightaway to retrieve the three un-hatched eggs. When I returned, she told me that the three hatchlings I had brought in only thirty minutes before were already out of ICU and peeping their way to health, and she also said the eggs would hatch in the incubator. With her expertise six baby quail would be saved.
On the more leisurely drive home, I wondered about intervening in the ways of nature. Had I allowed my emotions to get carried away and interfered in a way that wasn’t appropriate? Or, because I sense the unity and sacredness of all life in nature, was I simply allowing my inner guidance to direct my actions? I pray it was the latter.
____________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
About three weeks ago, I realized that for the third year in a row a quail couple had established a nest in one of the flower pots on my back patio. I was thrilled.
My attention was hooked early Sunday evening when I noticed the papa quail pacing back and forth on the patio wall. Mama quail was on the nest. I knew this because every five minutes or so she would loudly and emphatically express something that was obviously very important. It seemed to me that she really wanted papa quail to get her message, so the decibels gradually escalated. His responses were brief and calm.
I was in the house reading a book and could look up and see what was going on. After a couple of hours, the conversation and the behavior became more intense. Now the female was really loud and coming out of the nest every two minutes. The papa quail would then fly down to the ground and for a micro-minute each would pick at tiny seeds, fly into the nest for a split second and then make a hurried flight to the top of the patio wall. The female would pause for a second and then return to the nest and resume the ritualistic behavior of ducking in and out of the nest, while the male continued daddy-duty pacing the wall.
The situation seemed intense and I wondered if something was wrong, so I called several friends seeking advice. I also tried the Internet by googling “Nesting habits of Gambel quail,” and found nothing that would help me.
Just before dark, I saw the female return to the nest and evidently settle in because suddenly all was quiet. I couldn’t see the male, but assumed he maintained his vigil. When I awakened at sunrise, I hurried outside and found the nest abandoned, with three baby chicks peeping away and three eggs that hadn’t hatched and eleven empty shells. Evidently for some reason unknown to me the parents had no option but to leave in order to save the chicks that did make it out of the nest.
I ran to the computer and didn’t give up until I found a site that gave me a name and a local number to call for help. When Jeani Garrett, the director of Arizona Covey, a bird rescue and rehabilitation organization, answered the call, she told me exactly what to do and where to bring the three chicks and any un-hatched eggs as soon as possible.
Realizing that time was of the essence, I thought maybe the chicks had a better chance of making it than the still-intact eggs, so I picked them up with a spoon, placed them on a towel in a small box and made the 25-minute drive to the drop-off spot in 15 minutes. When I was halfway there, the chicks became quiet, and my heart skipped a beat, but after a few minutes the peeping returned and it was even stronger.
When Jeani answered the door, she immediately scooped up the three chicks and lovingly placed them in a huge glass aquarium. It was subdivided into an incubator, intensive care unit and a nursery that held about a hundred peeping and constantly moving baby quail. The sight and sounds lifted my heart and brought tears to my eyes.
She sent me back straightaway to retrieve the three un-hatched eggs. When I returned, she told me that the three hatchlings I had brought in only thirty minutes before were already out of ICU and peeping their way to health, and she also said the eggs would hatch in the incubator. With her expertise six baby quail would be saved.
On the more leisurely drive home, I wondered about intervening in the ways of nature. Had I allowed my emotions to get carried away and interfered in a way that wasn’t appropriate? Or, because I sense the unity and sacredness of all life in nature, was I simply allowing my inner guidance to direct my actions? I pray it was the latter.
____________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
It's in Our Best Interest to Help Others ... and Not Just When There's a World Disaster
We all know that when a disaster happens anywhere in the world, the media coverage of our government’s obligatory financial largesse and the noteworthy contributions by a relatively small percentage of Americans makes us feel all warm and fuzzy. We are once again lulled into the false perception that individually and as a society we still look after each other on a daily basis. This may have been true once upon a time in our nation’s pioneer days, but it certainly isn’t the case now.
Many of us think of our current reality with sadness as we realize the vision that underscored the concept of America – creating a nation of people who would live by a code of conduct worthy of the mythical Camelot – is slipping through our fingers.
The truth is that the actions of a proportionally small number of generous and good Americans stand in marked contrast to our country’s prevailing attitude of every man for himself.
This unhealthy syndrome has reached pandemic proportions and has resulted in a startling erosion of empathy, ethics, morality and values in this country. This is evidenced by the number of individuals who no longer feel a twinge of conscience at trampling on the rights of others.
I believe this negative approach springs from an existing "poverty consciousness," which translates into thinking there isn’t enough, or won’t be in the future, of whatever we need or want. This plays out in everyday life as the acceptability and, even worse, the necessity of grabbing whatever we can by any means imaginable for survival – and too bad for anyone else.
It is way past time to take a sobering look at the ethical and moral decline in our country. And finding our way out of this undesirable situation will entail much more than pointing our fingers at political figures and others who have feet of clay – it is also about each of us. We must heal ourselves of this greediness disease in order to heal our country.
The simple truth is that we do live in an abundant universe that is based on fundamental laws such as the Law of Attraction. This means that we draw to us what we think and live individually, as well as on a national basis. What we express affects everyone else. If our expression is negative this is what we manifest in our lives. The opposite is also true, however, so when we act from our highest and best selves this positively affects our lives, as well as the lives of everyone else.
I believe the vision for America is still viable, we just lost sight of our responsibility as citizens and abdicated our attention for too long and the result has been disastrous.
The first step we must take is to individually select and adhere to the highest standards in all our interactions with others, publicly and privately.
We must also recognize the fact that fully realizing America’s spiritual destiny/potential will take the conscious commitment and dedication of each one of us.
I believe there are many millions of people here and abroad whose hearts and souls resonate with the words of the song from the movie “Camelot”: … Don’t let it be forgot/that once there was a spot/for one bright, shining moment/that was known as Camelot. We can’t let the light go out.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Many of us think of our current reality with sadness as we realize the vision that underscored the concept of America – creating a nation of people who would live by a code of conduct worthy of the mythical Camelot – is slipping through our fingers.
The truth is that the actions of a proportionally small number of generous and good Americans stand in marked contrast to our country’s prevailing attitude of every man for himself.
This unhealthy syndrome has reached pandemic proportions and has resulted in a startling erosion of empathy, ethics, morality and values in this country. This is evidenced by the number of individuals who no longer feel a twinge of conscience at trampling on the rights of others.
I believe this negative approach springs from an existing "poverty consciousness," which translates into thinking there isn’t enough, or won’t be in the future, of whatever we need or want. This plays out in everyday life as the acceptability and, even worse, the necessity of grabbing whatever we can by any means imaginable for survival – and too bad for anyone else.
It is way past time to take a sobering look at the ethical and moral decline in our country. And finding our way out of this undesirable situation will entail much more than pointing our fingers at political figures and others who have feet of clay – it is also about each of us. We must heal ourselves of this greediness disease in order to heal our country.
The simple truth is that we do live in an abundant universe that is based on fundamental laws such as the Law of Attraction. This means that we draw to us what we think and live individually, as well as on a national basis. What we express affects everyone else. If our expression is negative this is what we manifest in our lives. The opposite is also true, however, so when we act from our highest and best selves this positively affects our lives, as well as the lives of everyone else.
I believe the vision for America is still viable, we just lost sight of our responsibility as citizens and abdicated our attention for too long and the result has been disastrous.
The first step we must take is to individually select and adhere to the highest standards in all our interactions with others, publicly and privately.
We must also recognize the fact that fully realizing America’s spiritual destiny/potential will take the conscious commitment and dedication of each one of us.
I believe there are many millions of people here and abroad whose hearts and souls resonate with the words of the song from the movie “Camelot”: … Don’t let it be forgot/that once there was a spot/for one bright, shining moment/that was known as Camelot. We can’t let the light go out.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Aging Gracefully ... Or Not
I received an invitation recently to a reunion of an organization I belonged to almost four decades ago. This was followed by one of those moments that I experience often at this stage of my life. I was semi-attracted to the event, but after a brief reverie, I wondered if my interest was more about being remembered rather than in actually attending.
It occurred to me that a dear friend had also been a member at the same time, so I e-mailed her asking for her thoughts on the relevance of the event to us. This was her response:
I am semi-interested, but I will have to lose 50 pounds, get a facelift and tummy tuck, dye my hair or wear a wig, find a fashion designer who has the expertise and experience to outfit me in a flattering way – if there is such a person – and learn to walk in high heels again, but let me think about it.
Her ready sense of humor highlighted the challenge of being a female senior citizen in a society that tries every day using any means possible to deny, hide and slow signs of the aging process. It’s very easy now with plastic surgery, liposuction, breast and hair implants, hair dyes, as well as fashion savvy and health spas, to elect to remove a few wrinkles or several or more decades of normal wear and tear.
Being members of the rare birds species that have embraced natural aging as part of being born into life on this planet, we stand out like Oprah at a Kitty Kelley book signing. I often wonder if others look upon our courageous stand as being a healthy and balanced way of accepting what is, or as old fogies who don’t have the guts to move with the high-tech-Avatar times and go for all the gusto with every high-tech means at our disposal.
While many seniors have accepted that the obvious signs of aging, such as grey hair, liver spots, memory loss, lack of energy and gravity’s relentless pull, are reminders that no one makes it out of this adventure alive, millions of others are in a fevered rush to stop the march of time – or at least that part we can see. We’re living in an era when the nearly-dead and newly-weds can look about the same.
Evidently everybody didn’t get the same memo, which is that we’re here on Earth to learn how life really works. In order to do that we need to fully embrace each stage of life and glean the lessons from it. In this way we discover what is truly important, and can live better lives and die better deaths.
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Woody Allen: "I’m not afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens." Maybe fear of dying is one of the motivators behind the frantic search for the fountain of youth. But the truth is that no matter how young we can manage to look, when our time comes we’re still going to die.
Being human, when I look at a photo of me in the bloom of youth, I feel a twinge for what was. Yet I wouldn’t trade one wrinkle to try to reverse time, actually or artificially. It is meant for us to become more real and authentic and to express more of the spiritual beings we were born to be. We need to embrace every season of life and learn everything we can from our experiences.
I believe that the perks in seeking to age naturally, gracefully and healthfully are freedom, peace, power and wisdom. We use the wisdom gained to choose what is for our highest and best good. With freedom and power we claim that right and decline everything else. This brings us an inner peace that is priceless.
I e-mailed back to my friend: Forget abut struggling into Spanx and forcing your feet into shoes you haven’t worn since your grandson’s college graduation. Give thanks for elastic waistbands and take a deep breath – your brain will love it. By declining this invitation, we can be in our pajamas that evening by 7:00 pm or 8:00 pm at the latest, enjoying a healthful dinner of our choice and watching PBS or reading a new book. Let’s talk. LOL
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
It occurred to me that a dear friend had also been a member at the same time, so I e-mailed her asking for her thoughts on the relevance of the event to us. This was her response:
I am semi-interested, but I will have to lose 50 pounds, get a facelift and tummy tuck, dye my hair or wear a wig, find a fashion designer who has the expertise and experience to outfit me in a flattering way – if there is such a person – and learn to walk in high heels again, but let me think about it.
Her ready sense of humor highlighted the challenge of being a female senior citizen in a society that tries every day using any means possible to deny, hide and slow signs of the aging process. It’s very easy now with plastic surgery, liposuction, breast and hair implants, hair dyes, as well as fashion savvy and health spas, to elect to remove a few wrinkles or several or more decades of normal wear and tear.
Being members of the rare birds species that have embraced natural aging as part of being born into life on this planet, we stand out like Oprah at a Kitty Kelley book signing. I often wonder if others look upon our courageous stand as being a healthy and balanced way of accepting what is, or as old fogies who don’t have the guts to move with the high-tech-Avatar times and go for all the gusto with every high-tech means at our disposal.
While many seniors have accepted that the obvious signs of aging, such as grey hair, liver spots, memory loss, lack of energy and gravity’s relentless pull, are reminders that no one makes it out of this adventure alive, millions of others are in a fevered rush to stop the march of time – or at least that part we can see. We’re living in an era when the nearly-dead and newly-weds can look about the same.
Evidently everybody didn’t get the same memo, which is that we’re here on Earth to learn how life really works. In order to do that we need to fully embrace each stage of life and glean the lessons from it. In this way we discover what is truly important, and can live better lives and die better deaths.
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Woody Allen: "I’m not afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens." Maybe fear of dying is one of the motivators behind the frantic search for the fountain of youth. But the truth is that no matter how young we can manage to look, when our time comes we’re still going to die.
Being human, when I look at a photo of me in the bloom of youth, I feel a twinge for what was. Yet I wouldn’t trade one wrinkle to try to reverse time, actually or artificially. It is meant for us to become more real and authentic and to express more of the spiritual beings we were born to be. We need to embrace every season of life and learn everything we can from our experiences.
I believe that the perks in seeking to age naturally, gracefully and healthfully are freedom, peace, power and wisdom. We use the wisdom gained to choose what is for our highest and best good. With freedom and power we claim that right and decline everything else. This brings us an inner peace that is priceless.
I e-mailed back to my friend: Forget abut struggling into Spanx and forcing your feet into shoes you haven’t worn since your grandson’s college graduation. Give thanks for elastic waistbands and take a deep breath – your brain will love it. By declining this invitation, we can be in our pajamas that evening by 7:00 pm or 8:00 pm at the latest, enjoying a healthful dinner of our choice and watching PBS or reading a new book. Let’s talk. LOL
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, April 12, 2010
I Believe in the Miracle of Life
When we can accept the fact that we live in a loving, miraculous universe and can align with the awareness of that, miracles of all types abound and surround us, including those in nature. The miracles I’m talking about often occur in quiet ways – and if you aren’t open to such gifts you would miss seeing them because they can come and go in an instant.
For example, today as I walked across the grass to the mailbox, I was stopped by a vibrant ball of red energy that hovered before me about a foot in front of my eyes. As I focused, I realized it was a tiny, chubby hummingbird with a ruby red throat. I was transfixed in amazement. When I slowly reached out my hand as a perch, it moved and hovered closely over it. I don’t remember hearing the movement of its wings, or thinking anything. I was just totally present in the moment. Then the tiny bird whirled and it was gone.
Yesterday the workmen completed the required drainage work on my patio and at dusk all the furniture and potted plants had been returned to their appointed places or close to it. Naturally, I was out there bright and early this morning to do some fine-tuning.
My kids tend to humorously dismiss the time I spend in my beloved garden as “just puttering around.” Someday they will realize that showing up in nature, as in life, and being conscious and aware is the key to experiencing magical happenings.
This day was no exception. As I leaned down to admire the new catch basin, I sensed movement under the large glider-swing and bent over a little more so that I could see what it was. There were two tiny baby bunnies, the smallest and youngest I had ever seen. I was thrilled and welcomed them with a gentle soothing voice, which I hoped would reassure them. It didn’t, so I quietly walked to the other end of the patio.
As I embraced the moment and watched the playful bunnies, I recalled a few of the many miracles I have experienced in nature through the years. One day I noticed a small bird’s nest outside my bedroom window and from my perspective the only occupant looked like a medium-size worm. It was interesting that an adult hummingbird visited the nest a number of times during the day, and before long the “worm” turned out to be a baby hummingbird. From then on I was enthralled and watched every day, and was there front row, center when the baby hummingbird took its first and last flight from the nest. The mom and offspring never returned. Another time I was stunned to find a family of desert owls had taken up residence in our carob tree, and they stayed there for a week. This was the first time I had ever seen an owl outside of a zoo.
Similarly I had never seen a raccoon until a family of them moved into our yard, and left their distinctive paw prints on the skylight as they scampered across the roof at night.
For the past several years, in the early spring, a quail couple has set up housekeeping in one of my larger flower pots producing twelve baby quail the first year and seventeen the next. During the first event, my sister was visiting and together we watched the dozen baby quail either rappel down the asparagus fern fronds or simply bail out and land in soft plumps on the brickwork. Each time I watched in pure joy and delight as the tiny quail moved in unison as a quivering and wriggling mass of life energy while learning from their parents how to survive their first day on Earth.
In my experience, being in alignment with the universal life force-energy-God, and consciously directing our positive thoughts and prayers toward realizing good opens the way for marvelous things to occur in all areas of our lives. As this becomes a habit, we begin to train our minds to contemplate, to pay attention and to expect good. As our trust increases, we not only believe in miracles we can rely on them.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
For example, today as I walked across the grass to the mailbox, I was stopped by a vibrant ball of red energy that hovered before me about a foot in front of my eyes. As I focused, I realized it was a tiny, chubby hummingbird with a ruby red throat. I was transfixed in amazement. When I slowly reached out my hand as a perch, it moved and hovered closely over it. I don’t remember hearing the movement of its wings, or thinking anything. I was just totally present in the moment. Then the tiny bird whirled and it was gone.
Yesterday the workmen completed the required drainage work on my patio and at dusk all the furniture and potted plants had been returned to their appointed places or close to it. Naturally, I was out there bright and early this morning to do some fine-tuning.
My kids tend to humorously dismiss the time I spend in my beloved garden as “just puttering around.” Someday they will realize that showing up in nature, as in life, and being conscious and aware is the key to experiencing magical happenings.
This day was no exception. As I leaned down to admire the new catch basin, I sensed movement under the large glider-swing and bent over a little more so that I could see what it was. There were two tiny baby bunnies, the smallest and youngest I had ever seen. I was thrilled and welcomed them with a gentle soothing voice, which I hoped would reassure them. It didn’t, so I quietly walked to the other end of the patio.
As I embraced the moment and watched the playful bunnies, I recalled a few of the many miracles I have experienced in nature through the years. One day I noticed a small bird’s nest outside my bedroom window and from my perspective the only occupant looked like a medium-size worm. It was interesting that an adult hummingbird visited the nest a number of times during the day, and before long the “worm” turned out to be a baby hummingbird. From then on I was enthralled and watched every day, and was there front row, center when the baby hummingbird took its first and last flight from the nest. The mom and offspring never returned. Another time I was stunned to find a family of desert owls had taken up residence in our carob tree, and they stayed there for a week. This was the first time I had ever seen an owl outside of a zoo.
Similarly I had never seen a raccoon until a family of them moved into our yard, and left their distinctive paw prints on the skylight as they scampered across the roof at night.
For the past several years, in the early spring, a quail couple has set up housekeeping in one of my larger flower pots producing twelve baby quail the first year and seventeen the next. During the first event, my sister was visiting and together we watched the dozen baby quail either rappel down the asparagus fern fronds or simply bail out and land in soft plumps on the brickwork. Each time I watched in pure joy and delight as the tiny quail moved in unison as a quivering and wriggling mass of life energy while learning from their parents how to survive their first day on Earth.
In my experience, being in alignment with the universal life force-energy-God, and consciously directing our positive thoughts and prayers toward realizing good opens the way for marvelous things to occur in all areas of our lives. As this becomes a habit, we begin to train our minds to contemplate, to pay attention and to expect good. As our trust increases, we not only believe in miracles we can rely on them.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, March 29, 2010
When Changes Come Up, the Ego Also Rises
It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I know that change is the only constant in life and nothing remains the same for long. I have learned to cope with many life changes, but when one affects my inner peace, it commands my full attention.
I’ve also known for a long time that life on Earth is all about learning lessons. When it is time for us to grow – or past time – the universe gives us a shove by presenting us with changes that are opportunities to stretch and continue expanding our awareness.
I confess that like many people, the older I get the more I resist change. The most recent example of this surfaced for me when I once again heard from family and friends that it was time for me to move into a single-level house because my future health situation might preclude being able to negotiate stairs.
First of all, I’m healthy and love everything about my townhouse, from the location to the vaulted ceilings and the upstairs bedroom – which reminds me of a childhood tree house – to the small patio garden that allows me a daily dose of God’s beauty and goodness. Second, since I believe in living in the present and expecting the best, it didn’t make sense to sell my beloved house now because of an imagined possible negative situation in the future.
However, their concern lingered in my mind, as it seemed so strong and sincere that I began doubting my decision. Was I just being stubborn and foolish, or worse yet, experiencing every senior citizen’s worst nightmare – losing our grip on reality? The more I thought about that, the more I dipped into fear and it was impossible to think about moving or not moving objectively.
After a week of angst, I realized that I was in a tug-of-war with that part of self with the small “s” which refers to the “little me,” the ego. In other words, the ego seeks to control our experiences in the world based on false information we subconsciously believe about ourselves. This includes our weaknesses, defenses, sense of self-worth and our fears, especially the fear of big changes in our lives.
When I finally turned within and asked for guidance, I was led to mentally go back to the time I made the original decision to remain in the townhouse after the death of my husband. As I settled into this experience, I once again felt the love and clarity of that moment. I also realized quickly that in doing this I had reclaimed my inner peace.
Free of the ego’s grip and the fear of change, I was now open to allow wisdom and truth to flow through me. I was fully and wholly able to bless my family and friends for caring and to confirm my original decision as long as it made sense – and when it didn’t any more, I would make whatever change was needed at that time.
When changes, challenges and life decisions come up that threaten our equilibrium, we can be certain that the ego also rises. What we don’t have to do is give in to the vise grip of the ego, which can so discombobulate us that we can’t see the truth in a situation and come to a clear, reasoned decision.
Since we’re aware that as long as we are on Earth there will be changes, as well as more lessons to learn, I recommend repeating these daily affirmations: I choose God-Truth and make healthy, life-enhancing choices about every change, challenge or decision that presents itself in my life. In, for, with and through God, nothing can threaten my inner stability!
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
I’ve also known for a long time that life on Earth is all about learning lessons. When it is time for us to grow – or past time – the universe gives us a shove by presenting us with changes that are opportunities to stretch and continue expanding our awareness.
I confess that like many people, the older I get the more I resist change. The most recent example of this surfaced for me when I once again heard from family and friends that it was time for me to move into a single-level house because my future health situation might preclude being able to negotiate stairs.
First of all, I’m healthy and love everything about my townhouse, from the location to the vaulted ceilings and the upstairs bedroom – which reminds me of a childhood tree house – to the small patio garden that allows me a daily dose of God’s beauty and goodness. Second, since I believe in living in the present and expecting the best, it didn’t make sense to sell my beloved house now because of an imagined possible negative situation in the future.
However, their concern lingered in my mind, as it seemed so strong and sincere that I began doubting my decision. Was I just being stubborn and foolish, or worse yet, experiencing every senior citizen’s worst nightmare – losing our grip on reality? The more I thought about that, the more I dipped into fear and it was impossible to think about moving or not moving objectively.
After a week of angst, I realized that I was in a tug-of-war with that part of self with the small “s” which refers to the “little me,” the ego. In other words, the ego seeks to control our experiences in the world based on false information we subconsciously believe about ourselves. This includes our weaknesses, defenses, sense of self-worth and our fears, especially the fear of big changes in our lives.
When I finally turned within and asked for guidance, I was led to mentally go back to the time I made the original decision to remain in the townhouse after the death of my husband. As I settled into this experience, I once again felt the love and clarity of that moment. I also realized quickly that in doing this I had reclaimed my inner peace.
Free of the ego’s grip and the fear of change, I was now open to allow wisdom and truth to flow through me. I was fully and wholly able to bless my family and friends for caring and to confirm my original decision as long as it made sense – and when it didn’t any more, I would make whatever change was needed at that time.
When changes, challenges and life decisions come up that threaten our equilibrium, we can be certain that the ego also rises. What we don’t have to do is give in to the vise grip of the ego, which can so discombobulate us that we can’t see the truth in a situation and come to a clear, reasoned decision.
Since we’re aware that as long as we are on Earth there will be changes, as well as more lessons to learn, I recommend repeating these daily affirmations: I choose God-Truth and make healthy, life-enhancing choices about every change, challenge or decision that presents itself in my life. In, for, with and through God, nothing can threaten my inner stability!
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
The Gift In Releasing the Ego: Expressing Our True Selves
I was first introduced to the concept of self-mastery years ago through a book by Stuart Wilde. He said that at some point on our spiritual journeys we must learn to control our emotions and thoughts so that we can – my words – keep our egos in check and express our true selves.
As I focused on the idea of self-mastery, I thought back to my husband’s lengthy death process and the dramatic and life-changing experience that enabled me to release my ego and express the highest and best within me. This also brought to mind a number of defining moments in my life that set the stage for this situation to manifest in our lives.
At age 10, I was spending a week at my maternal grandparents’ farm during summer vacation. These visits were one of the highlights of my life and were usually marked by love, laughter and music, as my grandfather played the violin and my grandmother the organ.
One night while I was there, my grandfather died in his sleep and the next day as relatives arrived, the energy in the house shifted. This was my first encounter with death, and I was stunned that conversation was reduced to whispers, and everything, including the black clothing everyone was now wearing, created a dark cloud of grief, fear and foreboding. No one could or would spend much time in the same room with my grandfather, even my grandmother, as she would collapse in tears. I felt only love and peace, so I sat with him until they took his body away.
When I was twelve, my best friend, Mary, came to school and told me her grandmother had died the night before. My face must have registered my feelings because before I could speak, she said, “Oh, it wasn’t like that.” She explained that her grandmother called all the family into her hospital room and told each one how much she loved them. Then she smiled and said, “Now go home. I’m going home.” She died that night. Both of these end-of-life situations were seared in my consciousness.
After an early marriage to an equally young spouse, and the ensuing emotional upheaval of divorce, I was led to a spiritual philosophy that I could embrace with my heart and mind – and which also provided the tools I needed to create a successful life. Within seven years after the divorce, I had met and married the love of my life.
From then on, no matter what was going on in my personal or business life, I was drawn like a magnet to all the books on death and dying. I attended a host of conferences and workshops led by most of the leaders in this field, including Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the acknowledged world expert on the subject. I had also become a hospice volunteer and assisted a number of patients in their death processes, as well as a brother-in-law, two siblings and my parents.
By that time, I knew that a major component of my life purpose was to assist a fellow soul through the death process in a way that was more conscious and aware, more spiritually enlightened and more loving than I had ever heard of or read about.
What I didn’t understand back then was that the ability to facilitate this experience must happen through me – which meant that somehow I would have to grow in conscious awareness in order to fulfill this life goal. I also had no idea when, with whom or how I was to accomplish this out-of-the ordinary objective.
In what seemed a miraculous coincidence, Dr. Kübler-Ross relocated for her health in 1994 to a city near my home; our paths crossed again and we became close friends. At that time, my beloved husband’s health was beginning to fail and I knew immediately that this was the time and he was the individual that I was to assist through the death process in a different way. However, after a few years of trying to do it by myself, I realized I was failing. I called Elisabeth seeking her counsel, and her advice was, “Follow your heart, Fern, your heart knows the way.”
I thought I had been doing that, but after reflection I knew my friend was gently reminding me to turn to the greater power within me, instead of trying to do it all alone. Actually I had been seeking a connection with God through meditation, prayer and journaling for many years, but after all that time it was still a one-sided conversation. The next defining moment happened as if on cue.
A few days later when I went to visit my husband at the hospital, I found him in a non-lucid state. I was shocked when he asked me to arrange a wedding for him with the young aide who brought his food tray. I knew he recognized me, but obviously he didn’t remember that we were married or anything about our wonderful life together. My ego was devastated. I cried all the way home.
I went straight to my meditation chair, but instead of sitting down I fell to my knees in abject sorrow and surrender. I cried until I couldn’t cry any more. When I stood up, I felt an empowering surge of energy course through me. I wiped my face and declared to God: I will never give up or give in. I will have this personal connection with you or know the reason why not!
From that day forward, through journaling, I received the love, support and guidance we needed. I was also led to release my ego and then, no matter my husband’s physical or mental condition I was able to be totally present for him. Our experience was transformed. Three years later, he made his final transition in the time and way his soul desired. I was left with a joyous anticipation of the future, a reaffirmation of life and a deep inner peace.
The moral of this true story, and the gift in it, is that by gradually taking command of our egos and consciously correcting their limiting beliefs about us, we enter into the freedom of living our greater selves, the True Selves that we were born to be. This is the point of connection with God and all others. We are then grounded in the power that can satisfy our needs and in the balance-wholeness that dissolves all fears and uncertainties.
________________________________
Copyright © 2010 Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books, including “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
As I focused on the idea of self-mastery, I thought back to my husband’s lengthy death process and the dramatic and life-changing experience that enabled me to release my ego and express the highest and best within me. This also brought to mind a number of defining moments in my life that set the stage for this situation to manifest in our lives.
At age 10, I was spending a week at my maternal grandparents’ farm during summer vacation. These visits were one of the highlights of my life and were usually marked by love, laughter and music, as my grandfather played the violin and my grandmother the organ.
One night while I was there, my grandfather died in his sleep and the next day as relatives arrived, the energy in the house shifted. This was my first encounter with death, and I was stunned that conversation was reduced to whispers, and everything, including the black clothing everyone was now wearing, created a dark cloud of grief, fear and foreboding. No one could or would spend much time in the same room with my grandfather, even my grandmother, as she would collapse in tears. I felt only love and peace, so I sat with him until they took his body away.
When I was twelve, my best friend, Mary, came to school and told me her grandmother had died the night before. My face must have registered my feelings because before I could speak, she said, “Oh, it wasn’t like that.” She explained that her grandmother called all the family into her hospital room and told each one how much she loved them. Then she smiled and said, “Now go home. I’m going home.” She died that night. Both of these end-of-life situations were seared in my consciousness.
After an early marriage to an equally young spouse, and the ensuing emotional upheaval of divorce, I was led to a spiritual philosophy that I could embrace with my heart and mind – and which also provided the tools I needed to create a successful life. Within seven years after the divorce, I had met and married the love of my life.
From then on, no matter what was going on in my personal or business life, I was drawn like a magnet to all the books on death and dying. I attended a host of conferences and workshops led by most of the leaders in this field, including Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the acknowledged world expert on the subject. I had also become a hospice volunteer and assisted a number of patients in their death processes, as well as a brother-in-law, two siblings and my parents.
By that time, I knew that a major component of my life purpose was to assist a fellow soul through the death process in a way that was more conscious and aware, more spiritually enlightened and more loving than I had ever heard of or read about.
What I didn’t understand back then was that the ability to facilitate this experience must happen through me – which meant that somehow I would have to grow in conscious awareness in order to fulfill this life goal. I also had no idea when, with whom or how I was to accomplish this out-of-the ordinary objective.
In what seemed a miraculous coincidence, Dr. Kübler-Ross relocated for her health in 1994 to a city near my home; our paths crossed again and we became close friends. At that time, my beloved husband’s health was beginning to fail and I knew immediately that this was the time and he was the individual that I was to assist through the death process in a different way. However, after a few years of trying to do it by myself, I realized I was failing. I called Elisabeth seeking her counsel, and her advice was, “Follow your heart, Fern, your heart knows the way.”
I thought I had been doing that, but after reflection I knew my friend was gently reminding me to turn to the greater power within me, instead of trying to do it all alone. Actually I had been seeking a connection with God through meditation, prayer and journaling for many years, but after all that time it was still a one-sided conversation. The next defining moment happened as if on cue.
A few days later when I went to visit my husband at the hospital, I found him in a non-lucid state. I was shocked when he asked me to arrange a wedding for him with the young aide who brought his food tray. I knew he recognized me, but obviously he didn’t remember that we were married or anything about our wonderful life together. My ego was devastated. I cried all the way home.
I went straight to my meditation chair, but instead of sitting down I fell to my knees in abject sorrow and surrender. I cried until I couldn’t cry any more. When I stood up, I felt an empowering surge of energy course through me. I wiped my face and declared to God: I will never give up or give in. I will have this personal connection with you or know the reason why not!
From that day forward, through journaling, I received the love, support and guidance we needed. I was also led to release my ego and then, no matter my husband’s physical or mental condition I was able to be totally present for him. Our experience was transformed. Three years later, he made his final transition in the time and way his soul desired. I was left with a joyous anticipation of the future, a reaffirmation of life and a deep inner peace.
The moral of this true story, and the gift in it, is that by gradually taking command of our egos and consciously correcting their limiting beliefs about us, we enter into the freedom of living our greater selves, the True Selves that we were born to be. This is the point of connection with God and all others. We are then grounded in the power that can satisfy our needs and in the balance-wholeness that dissolves all fears and uncertainties.
________________________________
Copyright © 2010 Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books, including “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, March 1, 2010
How Life on Earth Really Works: Mastering the Art of Living
I recently received a letter from a friend who told me she is experiencing “an emotional earthquake.” Her marriage is broken, a divorce is in process and she and her children are devastated. I found myself greatly touched by her situation – partly because of the intensity of her heart-searing words and my caring for her – but also because I’ve been there.
Similar dramas are playing out daily across our country as divorce rates continue to soar. The reasons for this disturbing trend are many and varied, but primarily the explosion of failed marriages is due to each of us not knowing who we are, what we truly desire in life, a lack of awareness of what it takes to create a successful relationship and – even more important – having absolutely no idea How Life on Earth Really Works.
In preparation for what I would share with her when she was starting to heal emotionally and was ready to learn from the experience and move on, I started thinking back to my divorce three decades ago. I smiled as I recalled how at that time I believed and mourned the “fact” that my life was over – in my thirties. The smile broadened when I recalled that seven years after my divorce, I married the love of my life and lived the relationship I always knew was possible for twenty-three incredible years.
Today, almost a decade after his death, I experience joy and happiness every day as I continue to learn how life really works and to enhance my expertise in mastering the Art of Living.
If you follow my writings, you know that they focus on three basic concepts:
*Realizing we must align with our inner guidance, whether we call it our authentic self, soul or God – rather than buying into the crazy-making beliefs of the external world that are generally empty, ineffectual and valueless.
*Growing through life instead of just going through it.
*Knowing that by changing our thoughts, we can positively change our lives.
I know, for I have lived these concepts to the best of my conscious awareness and ability for thirty-plus years. It is an ongoing process, and I definitely have more work to do, but my current conscious awareness (compared to how I lived my life in the past) bears witness to the dramatic and real difference these principles can make in anyone's life.
Another insight I gained in those early and tumultuous years is that the only constant in life is change, and that things will happen. My good friend the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said, “There are no accidents, everything in life happens for a positive reason.” I agree totally. Usually a change that represents a defining moment is the result of a deep soul urging within us that is sending us a message – sometimes not too gently. The impetus is either to get us on track with what we came into this life to learn – or to pull us up short by any means possible to get our attention and help us make a course correction.
The message is always to help us become aware of who we really are – spiritual beings having human experiences – so that we can learn to walk the path as human beings while expressing our authentic true selves. When we become aware that life happens from within us out rather than from the external in, we are naturally moved to focus on the energy-intelligence-power that is in us and everything in the universe.
As individualized expressions of this energy, we become aware that this is where our real power exists and that we are to live from this awareness. When we align with this inner power and can control our thoughts and emotions, we are then able to make choices that bring into our lives what we really desire.
I pray that my friend will be open to the opportunity to choose a path that will enrich and balance her life, her family’s and all those she touches. The choice, as always, is hers to make. It also will take courage and commitment, but what in life that is truly worthwhile doesn’t?
Everything in life happens for a positive reason. When we can master the Art of Living – find love and peace within ourselves and live in harmony with friends, families and others – then there is an opportunity for peace within the Family of Man. Each soul is part of this divine plan.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Similar dramas are playing out daily across our country as divorce rates continue to soar. The reasons for this disturbing trend are many and varied, but primarily the explosion of failed marriages is due to each of us not knowing who we are, what we truly desire in life, a lack of awareness of what it takes to create a successful relationship and – even more important – having absolutely no idea How Life on Earth Really Works.
In preparation for what I would share with her when she was starting to heal emotionally and was ready to learn from the experience and move on, I started thinking back to my divorce three decades ago. I smiled as I recalled how at that time I believed and mourned the “fact” that my life was over – in my thirties. The smile broadened when I recalled that seven years after my divorce, I married the love of my life and lived the relationship I always knew was possible for twenty-three incredible years.
Today, almost a decade after his death, I experience joy and happiness every day as I continue to learn how life really works and to enhance my expertise in mastering the Art of Living.
If you follow my writings, you know that they focus on three basic concepts:
*Realizing we must align with our inner guidance, whether we call it our authentic self, soul or God – rather than buying into the crazy-making beliefs of the external world that are generally empty, ineffectual and valueless.
*Growing through life instead of just going through it.
*Knowing that by changing our thoughts, we can positively change our lives.
I know, for I have lived these concepts to the best of my conscious awareness and ability for thirty-plus years. It is an ongoing process, and I definitely have more work to do, but my current conscious awareness (compared to how I lived my life in the past) bears witness to the dramatic and real difference these principles can make in anyone's life.
Another insight I gained in those early and tumultuous years is that the only constant in life is change, and that things will happen. My good friend the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said, “There are no accidents, everything in life happens for a positive reason.” I agree totally. Usually a change that represents a defining moment is the result of a deep soul urging within us that is sending us a message – sometimes not too gently. The impetus is either to get us on track with what we came into this life to learn – or to pull us up short by any means possible to get our attention and help us make a course correction.
The message is always to help us become aware of who we really are – spiritual beings having human experiences – so that we can learn to walk the path as human beings while expressing our authentic true selves. When we become aware that life happens from within us out rather than from the external in, we are naturally moved to focus on the energy-intelligence-power that is in us and everything in the universe.
As individualized expressions of this energy, we become aware that this is where our real power exists and that we are to live from this awareness. When we align with this inner power and can control our thoughts and emotions, we are then able to make choices that bring into our lives what we really desire.
I pray that my friend will be open to the opportunity to choose a path that will enrich and balance her life, her family’s and all those she touches. The choice, as always, is hers to make. It also will take courage and commitment, but what in life that is truly worthwhile doesn’t?
Everything in life happens for a positive reason. When we can master the Art of Living – find love and peace within ourselves and live in harmony with friends, families and others – then there is an opportunity for peace within the Family of Man. Each soul is part of this divine plan.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Changing the Old Negative Idea of Selfish to "SELFNESS"
When my generation of seniors was growing up, most of us were taught to place everyone else’s needs and desires above our own. Behaving this way was supposed to show that we were thoughtful, loving and helpful, as well as a shining reflection of our parents. Any indication that we were egotistically putting self first was looked upon negatively as selfish by our parents, teachers and other authority figures and considered right up there with life’s mortal sins.
In the decades between the 1930s and 1950s, no one seemed to realize that denying self could have damaging effects on every aspect of our lives – including our physical health. The result of this concept of child rearing – teaching children to put themselves last – has created countless numbers of individuals who believed we were not lovable, or worthy of good in our lives. This lack of worthiness meant that we failed to fulfill our own needs. Undoubtedly this contributed to or is wholly responsible for many difficulties, including our nation having the highest number of obesity-related health problems in the world.
It wasn’t until after 1960 when the “me-first generation” came into being that people began to recognize the two extremes. The truth is that there are countless millions of us who never bought into the blatant egotism of the “me-first” concept, and still haven’t replaced our equally unbalanced programming with more healthful thought processes.
We don’t have to look past our own families to see examples of loved ones, primarily women, but also men who were inculcated unknowingly into our culture’s twisted badge of honor concerning ignoring our own needs and placing others first even to our own detriment. Without being fully aware that they have a choice and can honor both, many mature adults, whether as professional caregivers or for love of family, continue sacrificing health and happiness in the pursuit of being martyrs without a valid cause.
Fortunately it doesn’t have to be that way. We now know that no matter what undesirable thoughts we hold deep in our subconscious – or how long we’ve held these thoughts – we can change them and in the process change our lives.
Being human, it sometimes takes a health problem or a serious life event to let us know we are out of balance in some area of our lives. I am grateful that my body’s wake-up call wasn’t the equivalent of being hit in the forehead by a 2x4, but it did the job. I took the time to turn within and realistically assess my life, my habits and what contributed to the ailment. I soon realized that my diet wasn’t appropriate for this condition, neither was my cavalier attitude toward exercise, especially in dealing with stress, which if you’re alive you evidently have a lot of. And a great deal of this derived from always taking care of others but neglecting myself.
It also soon became obvious that, like many others, I still held some level of conflicting feelings about loving myself enough to place my needs first and to take responsibility for the care of my body. In realizing this and acting upon it, I recognized the core concept that was missing from my life since childhood: Self Love and Self Care. The difference in the approach – from trying to “force” my body to do what I wanted, to loving and cooperating with it – has made a remarkable difference in my ability to stay committed and disciplined.
It is crystal clear that if we’re not nurturing and loving ourselves with good physical care and looking after our mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, then at some point we will experience an imbalance in our lives. The result is ultimately an illness or disease process, or a residual unhappiness with ourselves, others and our lives – or all the above. Then, not only are we not taking care of ourselves, we aren’t able to care for others, either.
This pattern will continue until we stop and recognize the powerful and subconscious directives that have determined our lives, and replace them with new, positive and life-enhancing thoughts.
The error in our parents’ methodology was that it put the cart before the horse. First and foremost, children must be taught self love and self care, and this must be respected and supported in order to achieve balance of body, mind and spirit – wholeness. As we love and care for our physical vehicles, which allow us life on this planet, we are able to live from the highest and best within us. This enlightened approach creates a wellspring of joy, love and peace within, which honors us – and from which we can more healthfully serve ourselves, others, life and God.
Here are some positive affirmations to use: I love and care for myself. I now willingly release any thoughts, beliefs, fears, needs or life patterns in my subconscious that create imbalance in my body, mind and spirit. I am perfect, whole and complete right now.
__________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
In the decades between the 1930s and 1950s, no one seemed to realize that denying self could have damaging effects on every aspect of our lives – including our physical health. The result of this concept of child rearing – teaching children to put themselves last – has created countless numbers of individuals who believed we were not lovable, or worthy of good in our lives. This lack of worthiness meant that we failed to fulfill our own needs. Undoubtedly this contributed to or is wholly responsible for many difficulties, including our nation having the highest number of obesity-related health problems in the world.
It wasn’t until after 1960 when the “me-first generation” came into being that people began to recognize the two extremes. The truth is that there are countless millions of us who never bought into the blatant egotism of the “me-first” concept, and still haven’t replaced our equally unbalanced programming with more healthful thought processes.
We don’t have to look past our own families to see examples of loved ones, primarily women, but also men who were inculcated unknowingly into our culture’s twisted badge of honor concerning ignoring our own needs and placing others first even to our own detriment. Without being fully aware that they have a choice and can honor both, many mature adults, whether as professional caregivers or for love of family, continue sacrificing health and happiness in the pursuit of being martyrs without a valid cause.
Fortunately it doesn’t have to be that way. We now know that no matter what undesirable thoughts we hold deep in our subconscious – or how long we’ve held these thoughts – we can change them and in the process change our lives.
Being human, it sometimes takes a health problem or a serious life event to let us know we are out of balance in some area of our lives. I am grateful that my body’s wake-up call wasn’t the equivalent of being hit in the forehead by a 2x4, but it did the job. I took the time to turn within and realistically assess my life, my habits and what contributed to the ailment. I soon realized that my diet wasn’t appropriate for this condition, neither was my cavalier attitude toward exercise, especially in dealing with stress, which if you’re alive you evidently have a lot of. And a great deal of this derived from always taking care of others but neglecting myself.
It also soon became obvious that, like many others, I still held some level of conflicting feelings about loving myself enough to place my needs first and to take responsibility for the care of my body. In realizing this and acting upon it, I recognized the core concept that was missing from my life since childhood: Self Love and Self Care. The difference in the approach – from trying to “force” my body to do what I wanted, to loving and cooperating with it – has made a remarkable difference in my ability to stay committed and disciplined.
It is crystal clear that if we’re not nurturing and loving ourselves with good physical care and looking after our mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, then at some point we will experience an imbalance in our lives. The result is ultimately an illness or disease process, or a residual unhappiness with ourselves, others and our lives – or all the above. Then, not only are we not taking care of ourselves, we aren’t able to care for others, either.
This pattern will continue until we stop and recognize the powerful and subconscious directives that have determined our lives, and replace them with new, positive and life-enhancing thoughts.
The error in our parents’ methodology was that it put the cart before the horse. First and foremost, children must be taught self love and self care, and this must be respected and supported in order to achieve balance of body, mind and spirit – wholeness. As we love and care for our physical vehicles, which allow us life on this planet, we are able to live from the highest and best within us. This enlightened approach creates a wellspring of joy, love and peace within, which honors us – and from which we can more healthfully serve ourselves, others, life and God.
Here are some positive affirmations to use: I love and care for myself. I now willingly release any thoughts, beliefs, fears, needs or life patterns in my subconscious that create imbalance in my body, mind and spirit. I am perfect, whole and complete right now.
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
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