Forgiving Others ... Why It's a Gift to Ourselves

In the past, just the thought of trying to forgive others for serious transgressions against me had always seemed so difficult as to be impossible.  I would be filled with fear and reluctance.  That is until recently, when I realized once again that I have a dream for the rest of my life, and the achievement of this dream requires me to be free of anything that blocks my good.  With that awareness, I knew that there were three people in my life that I still needed to forgive.

I had moved past the misconceptions that were primarily responsible for forgiveness remaining such a dreaded activity for me and many others. Today, no one believes that forgiveness means condoning the behavior of the offending person or that you have to maintain a relationship with him or her. Yet many of us still don’t know how to forgive or understand why forgiveness is one of the most vital and self-helping processes we will ever undertake.

Most of us are aware that no matter how strong our negative emotions are around people who have hurt us, those feelings have absolutely no affect on them. They don’t know what we’re thinking or experiencing and probably wouldn’t care if they did.  They are just going on with their lives. But the truth is that this energy can and will eat away at those holding onto it and will undermine our health and block us from living full and happy lives. That last part really got my attention.  Even though my life is good, there is more goodness I desire in the future.

I had used a daily forgiveness prayer for several decades, and truthfully the negative emotions had lessened and I rarely thought of the people who hurt me.  But when I did, I realized I still held emotional energy around the unhappy memories and each person. What I had failed to realize, until recently, is that if we’re still suffering, we’ve taken full ownership of the energy and the only resolution lies within us.

It wasn’t until I fully accepted the vital importance of forgiveness and sought out another method of accomplishing it that I was finally able to clear these undesirable emotional energies.  I also opened to the fact that whatever technique we choose, we must come from the knowing that forgiveness is an act of self-nurturing. We are seeking our highest and best good and are focusing on what is healing and healthy for us—and no one else. 

My approach began with setting my intention to forgive, and spending time in meditation and prayer. I chose to use the following affirmations that were inspired by the Dalai Lama. I started by repeating the statements for myself: May I be happy.  May I be safe.  May I be healthy.  May I be loving kindness.  May I know the power of love and forgiveness. I allowed myself as much time as needed each day to further imprint the process on my subconscious.

Then I repeated the same desires individually for all my family members and friends, using May you be ... .  As I focused on my loved ones, I practiced seeing their faces and bringing up all the love I felt for each one of them while stating the positive affirmations.  I became very familiar with the energy, how it felt, where I felt it and— after a while—how easy it was to bring it up.  I practiced staying in this loving energy for as long as I could.

That step is so important because we are practicing coming from a higher energy vibration that is vital for the next part of the exercise. I had become so facile in repeating the positive statements and switching between May I and May you …, that I could do it automatically. One day, while bringing forth and maintaining this love energy, I allowed a thought of the offending individuals to come up, one at a time—then their faces.  I spontaneously repeated and meant it: May you be happy.  May you be safe.  May you be healthy.  May you be loving kindness. May you know the power of love and forgiveness.

All the time I was doing this, I knew that to clear the undesirable energy I had to hold onto the higher energy vibration of love.  This step did take several attempts, but I didn’t give up.  When I could make the positive statements while coming from the love within me, I was able to feel a palpable shift in my physical body.  I knew at the core of my being it was a release—full, complete and lasting.

As we free ourselves from the fear surrounding forgiveness, we are then able to welcome any opportunity to forgive ourselves and others.  We know the truth that forgiveness is an inner process that has nothing to do with anyone else, and specifically the ones we believe hurt us.  It truly is one of the most important things we can ever do for ourselves, for it frees us to create a better future, brings peace to our souls and harmony to our lives.

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Copyright © 2011 Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books including, “Tea with Elisabeth,” recipient of the 2011 Silver Award for Nonfiction; “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World”; and “The Heart Knows the Way—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com other online booksellers, and bookstore chains such as Barnes & Noble.

If We Have a Dream, and Stay Open to Our Good … We Can Have It Any Way We Want

We don’t receive a manual at birth that tells us how life on Earth really works, or how to live our highest and best lives. Discovering the how-to’s of life is an inside job, and each one of us has to find our own unique path. Fortunately there have always been courageous souls throughout the ages, like Mary Manin Morrissey, who have stepped forward and shared what they have learned on their journeys—to shine a light on our paths.

Mary is an international speaker, bestselling author and powerful teacher in the human potential movement. I am currently enrolled in her Dream Builder Program, which combines listening to CD’s, doing the exercises, meeting once a week with a facilitator and having access to private coaching sessions. One of the many lessons I am learning from this course is how important it is not only to stay open to our Good, but to trust in and to expect our Good.

For example, I have known for a decade that part of my life’s purpose was to help others by writing about the lessons I learn as I grow through life. This was no problem until it came time to publish the books that resulted, and my old fear of public speaking came up—stronger than ever. I knew from working with publishing companies that the conventional process of marketing and promoting books includes seeking widespread public visibility for the author, thus my resurgence of fear.

Adding to my frustration was the fact that I had a 35-year history of working with Science of Mind principles and creating a successful career and life, which included attracting the man of my dreams. We had 23 wonderful years together, during which I lived out more of my heart’s desires. So, why couldn’t I resolve this particular issue?

After some soul searching, I finally realized that I had become so focused on what was blocking me, that I had become stuck in the problem.

I had another moment of clarity when I recently received my latest manuscript back from a diverse group of “readers.” Their comments confirmed what I knew in my heart—that this book could help others create better lives and a better world, which we sorely need to do right now.

I knew I had to do something, and my impatience to take action started to grow. While, I’ve always considered my impatience a mixed blessing, there have been times when it was just what I needed to move me in the right direction at the right time. I prayed this would be one of those times.

When I heard of the Dream Builder Program, I immediately called and signed up. After the decision was made, I felt a high anticipation of Good. After a few classes and giving myself fully to the information, I wrote out my dream, which included releasing my latest book to the general public. I loved my dream. It was also in alignment with my identified core values and my heart and soul desires.

After several days of focusing on my dream, more details concerning the publishing of the book also became part of the dream. Suddenly the dream was so big that I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I asked the program facilitator for a private session.

I recounted the key points of my dream and my concerns. The facilitator never interrupted me to comment or to ask a question. When I stopped talking, she said quietly, evenly and with no drama: “You Can Have It Any Way You Want.”

I can have it any way I want. This simple statement resonated with the core of my being. I was speechless. Either a tumbler moved into place, I had an infusion of new energy, or the energy I held around this block was released—or all the above—something had shifted within me. I was free from any fear of releasing this book to the general public … and I knew it.

I also knew that I wasn’t going to automatically join the speaking circuit and welcome whatever others might dictate as my duty. No way! I learned from the course material the importance of aligning our core values and soul desires with our dreams. This reinforced my original desire and knowing: I am to write and share what I learn, while remaining centered in God and in alignment with my truth.

While the details to “flesh” out my dream continue to take shape, I realize that having it any way I want means making sure my choices are congruent with the truth of me. It also means that I don’t have to compromise my heart, mind or soul to be successful.

I also learned that by remaining open to our Good, and feeding our faith instead of our fear, this allows us to move beyond our comfort zone and toward our dreams. When we take this leap of faith, the universe gets behind us in ways we can’t even imagine. I not only believe that, I know it.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” recipient of the 2011 Silver Award for Adult Nonfiction; “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble.

Are We Living Our Ideal Life?

Because of the serious challenges we now face, many people are being forced to reevaluate their lives. They are realizing that all the time they were rushing toward the future and pursuing the external trappings of a successful life – money, prestige and power – they were chasing an illusion.

They were living someone else’s idea of how life should be lived and not the one they were born to experience. The discontent they feel comes from a place deep within their core that knows the peace, contentment and happiness that is missing from their lives comes only from living a truly meaningful life.

I learned the lesson through the intense and dramatic years as a single parent of three children. The true journey is one in which we focus on our inner lives and seek to live in a way that fulfills our soul purpose and furthers the cause of good on Earth.

If we want to make a change in our lives for tomorrow and for the rest of our lives, we must take responsibility for where we are right now. We must also accept the truth that what we think, feel, say and do have determined our past and will continue to determine our future, unless we change our approach.We must monitor our thoughts, decide what we truly want and focus on that goal with constancy in order to create the life we should be living. What we choose must not harm or take from another and must be for our highest and best good, as then it will benefit all others.

I have written about those concepts before, but somehow I had forgotten until now another vital element that was tremendously beneficial in my life: The importance of identifying and living an ideal. An “ideal” is far above an idea, as it has the potential to enhance our souls and further the cause of good in the world. Our ideal must be something that we can never fully achieve in this lifetime; that strengthens our passion and propels us ever onward and upward. It can also give us a reason for living that is worthwhile and brings satisfaction at the core of our being. Our ideal can be expressed in a single word, such as: love, kindness, truth, joy, happiness, wisdom, peace, harmony or balance. It can also be a phrase such as: being one with life, one with God, loving relationships, appreciating beauty, appreciating nature, inspiring others through the arts, serving life or bringing hope to others.

We need to devote whatever time it takes to discover the ideal that resonates within our heart, mind and soul. When we commit to our ideal, and place it before us daily during prayers or meditation and think of it often during each day, we will soon find ourselves in alignment with our soul’s true purpose. I believe we are born onto this planet with the intention of fulfilling some part of Life’s purpose. I believe we each have a personal life mission as well as a larger mission that benefits the world.

Our ideal is our compass. In good times it makes decisions easier as the only question to answer is: Will this bring me closer to living my ideal? When times are bad, we hold fast to our ideal, as we can know that keeping our head and heart pointed toward our ideal will bring us safely through.

By choosing to be guided by our ideal, we begin the greatest journey of our lives. As we connect with the core of our being, we find the peace that passes understanding, as well as a wellspring of joy and wholeness. We also place ourselves in alignment with what is Good in the universe, and as instruments of Good/God, we will be helping our nation and the world experience a safer passage through this time of global transformation.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch – This is one of the author’s most requested columns.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way - How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” and “You Can Live a Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble.

The Importance of an Attitude of Gratitude

As everyone knows, we are facing serious challenges in our country right now, providing us a perfect opportunity to consider utilizing the highest and best information available to protect and maintain our health, prosperity and happiness or, if needed, to increase all three. Taking advantage of this tried and true information will benefit anyone who uses it, and in the process it will help heal America.

This information has been around for eons, and has allowed many individuals to create successful, enriching and happy lives despite external socio-economic conditions.

The primary concept, which I have written about before, is that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. Millions of people around the world are confirming the truth of this concept daily by living it. They are also attaining and maintaining an Attitude of Gratitude, which is a key component that assures success.

It is helpful to remember that gratitude is simply taking the time to look around us and appreciate what we do have. And not only does the Universe love a grateful heart, it responds affirmatively by sending us more of the good we are already enjoying. In practicing gratitude each day, this places us in alignment with what is Good in the Universe. This is a powerful place from which to act. By placing only positive thoughts and affirmations of our desires into the Universal Law, and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, we can expect to receive Good back from the Universe..

The challenge for some of us lies in the fact that no matter what we have, we often see only lack and scarcity because we don’t have enough, or we fear it won’t be enough in the future, or isn’t everything we want, or what we really want. If we truly want to change our lives for the better, it is vitally important that we start to become consciously aware of the many Good things that actually are in our lives and to start being grateful for them – no matter how small they may seem to be at the time.

One excellent way to do this is to take time each day, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime in the evening, or both, to repeat everything we can think of that we can be grateful for in that day. Just say: I am grateful for ______________, and let your mind and heart fill in the blank. We can also make a written list or start a Gratitude Journal and keep track of everything for which we are grateful. When gratitude is practiced consistently for the good we have in our lives, the loving universe takes that as our order and sends us more of the same.

I start each morning by being grateful for another day of life, for a good night’s sleep, or an unbroken night’s sleep, for a comfortable and warm bed, for my house, my car and for each person, event and experience I will meet this day. I also repeat these affirmations daily: I am grateful for this day, knowing it is the first day of the best years of my life. I am grateful for the continuing Good that comes into my life in expected and unexpected ways.

At night, before I fall asleep, I review the day and while going over it bit by bit, I declare every event Good, every person Good and bless the day. Then I repeat these affirmations: I bless everything that happened today and everyone with whom I came in contact. I am grateful for all the Good I see in my life and for the Good that is yet to be. As I turn over, I always feel complete and clear of the happenings of the day, and just naturally drift into a peaceful sleep.

As we learn to focus on positive thoughts and to live with an attitude of gratitude, this raises our energy vibration, which also elevates the consciousness of humanity. Since our government mirrors our level of awareness, we will also be helping our country return to a state of harmony and balance, and this is another blessed gift for which we can be exceedingly grateful.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch – Repeated by request.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Key to Happiness: Letting Go of Our Troubles ... and Living in the Now

Last week, at a spiritual community meeting, the message was titled “Forget Your Troubles” – and as it says in the song – “… C’mon, get happy.” Yet as the minister so ably explained, the reason so many of us are unhappy is because we find it difficult to let go of our fears, disappointments or old hurts. We either choose to live in the past and allow those thoughts to determine our tomorrows, or we mentally live in the future and focus on negative things that may never happen. The past is gone and the future is yet to be, so hanging out mentally in either place, whether consciously or subconsciously, means we’re blocking our potential for happiness.

I immediately thought of an irrational fear that had troubled me most of my life and that had recently resurfaced. As a child, I was extremely shy and lived in fear of being called on to answer a question in the classroom. By college, I was able to handle classroom and social situations, but I never lost my fear of speaking in public. It always weighed on my mind when facing any career decisions, past or present.

The minister also reminded us of something that went straight into the plus column of my consciousness. She said it’s a fact that most mature adults have already come through many life situations that didn’t knock us down or out, and we’re still here and stronger as a result. This boosted my confidence that I could finally face this fear.

When I left the corporate world and developed a communion with God, it wasn’t long before I was guided to help others by writing and sharing the lessons I was learning on my spiritual journey. The fear returned with more intensity, as I was now caught between following the guidance from God and dreading the public speaking that is required today to promote books. If there was a way to end this inner conflict over public visibility, and free me to fulfill my soul purpose, heart’s desires and be at peace, I was ready.

The decisive moment for me came when the minister smiled and said something like this: When we know how life really works, we can wake up and live it consciously and happily, or we can wait until we’re near the end and mourn our missed opportunities for happiness. I knew what I chose, and it wasn’t remorse and regret.

I set my intention to resolve this specific issue and trusted that, as usual, my inner guidance would lead me through the process. I soon recalled an idea I read about several years ago in a book titled “Intuitive Wellness,” by my friend, Laura Alden Kamm. She suggested that when we are in the middle of chaotic situations that confuse or frighten us that we print out these words: Trust, Faith and Power, and place them where we can see them often throughout each day.

Her concept was that by consciously contemplating these words, we would be led to reclaim our trust and faith in ourselves and in God. As a result of doing that, we would be aligned with our inner power and automatically trust that the outcome of all things in our life would be for our highest and best good.

After following my own spiritual practice, I asked my inner guidance to assist me and then sat quietly reflecting upon the three words. Memories began popping up, and each one was of a situation in which I felt as if life had dealt me a very low blow. I noticed the fear I held around each predicament, as they seemed far beyond my ability to handle, yet they couldn’t be avoided. I was forced to face them immediately. Despite my initial very human reactions, I realized that I had eventually grown through the life-changing circumstances and had indeed become stronger.

Once I acknowledged the deep sense of empowerment I gained from recalling these events, I realized something else. The fear and helplessness I had felt for so long about public speaking was tied to my projecting thoughts into the future about bad things happening, which had to be stopped. As I experienced living in the moment with this issue, I felt a sense of peace and knew I had reclaimed my power. I also knew I could handle (ultimately) anything that would ever come up in any area of my life because I had been doing that all along.

Just then I recalled the visionary teachings of my friend and early spiritual teacher, Irene Hunter, author of “The Miracle of Being the Real You.” She strongly advised that every time we catch ourselves casting negative thoughts into the future or re-living past situations, we say the following with great resolve: Cancel-cancel-cancel-together-together-together. This neutralizes a negative thought at all levels of our minds. Then, we lock-in our positive mental stance by stating firmly and as often as needed: My mind is renewed in, for, with and through God.

What a wonderful realization to know that we can choose at any time to be free by letting go of our “troubles,” living in the now and allowing ourselves the happiness that is every human being’s birthright.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things Breathe Life Into the American Dream

After the tragedy in Tucson, I searched my heart and mind for something insightful and uplifting to share with others. As I focused on that desire, I received an e-mail from a friend that set me on the right track. The quote she sent was from John F. Kennedy’s speech at The American University in Washington, D.C., in 1963. He said: "Our problems are man-made; therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings."

I believe that, and especially the part about man becoming as big as he wants, as those words hold so much positive potential for us right here and right now. I trusted that by allowing those inspiring words to guide me, I would be led to the awareness I was seeking surrounding the Tucson incident. I was immediately drawn to the fact that the majority of American citizens are ordinary people, just like you and me, and also to the realization that the strength of America has historically been vested in our innate goodness.

And, just like me, many of us tend to forget that we’re not alone and that every day millions of our fellow citizens get up with the same desire to do the best they can in every area of their lives. If they are parents, the goal is to rear healthy children who will contribute to society and help heal our Earth. If they are married, they want to be better partners. Those in the work force want to be better employees. And friends and neighbors want to be better friends and neighbors.

Then I thought about the reality that while most of us truly want to be better citizens and better human beings, we become disheartened when members of our society commit inhumane acts. We need to remember that those are the exceptions, and that the majority of us are already deeply committed to living our lives from the highest and best within us. This means that most of us are making a genuine and positive contribution to our nation right now. Some of them, these ordinary heroes, were right there in Tucson. This really matters.

As I realized that ordinary people are the heart, soul and backbone of our nation, I recalled that we also make up a world-renowned resource of capable, caring and generous volunteers. This was immediately obvious in the Tucson situation as the community rose up to help and support those who were affected. A similar desire spread across the state and our nation.

At that point, I thought of two other ordinary “everyday heroes” who typify America’s spirit of volunteerism: Annie Loyd and Jodi Powers. Within hours of the tragic events in Tucson, they convened a think-tank of do-ers through their Arizona-based The FUSION Foundation. Their plan was to come up with an “ongoing generational, transformational process” that would be a visible symbol of support for the affected families and a way for people across the nation to be part of the healing process.

In joining resources with the Arizona Community Tree Council, and other organizations, www.HealingTrees.org was born. They are now sponsoring tree-plantings as a living memorial to those who died in Tucson, as a symbol of “loving kindness” for the wounded and to honor all life.

On February 14, 2011, the 99th birthday of Arizona’s statehood, the ceremonial plantings will begin with the first of 19 trees, representing the 19 victims, planted at the Arizona State Capitol. This healing ceremony offers us a way to focus on what’s inherently good and right in our country, instead of what’s wrong, and to choose to be part of the solution.

Launching of the Healing Trees – Together We Thrive project will also mark the 50th anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s inaugural address, and honor his famous call to action: “… Ask what you can do for your country.”

That quote serves to remind us once again that pulling together in times of need will always be a source of strength and hope for each of us, and the saving grace for our communities and our country. This tradition continues with ordinary people like Annie and Jodi, you and me, the brave folks in Tucson and millions of other everyday heroes who step up and breathe life into the inherent goodness of the American Dream. I feel much better now.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Staying Connected with Our Center Is an Ongoing Challenge

Over the past several months, I have been putting the finishing touches on my latest manuscript, “Becoming a Spiritual Warrior of the Heart.” Rest assured that the emphasis is on the word becoming, as I am definitely a work in progress and still face challenges as does everyone who is on a similar path.

For example, when I reached a point in the cover design where technical decisions needed to be made that exceeded my area of expertise; I allowed myself to lose focus on the project and became stressed. Instead of simply asking for help, I slipped into an old life pattern of feeling less-than because I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

As a "work in progress,” I’m not ashamed to admit that this is not the first opportunity I’ve had to release another layer of this life issue. Basically, it equates to the fact that this particular invalid belief is still in my subconscious, and pops up from time to time. When it does, I start beating myself up because I don't know all the answers. I am also not embarrassed to say that it took several sleepless nights, a headache and a digestive upset before it got my full attention.

During this time, I woke up one morning after a restless night, contemplating whether I should sleep in, or do the in-bed exercises for my back that were recommended by my therapist and then get up. I knew I should do the exercises to help regain control of my mental and emotional state to protect my physical well-being – and part of me really wanted to, but I remained immobile.

But then a song wafted into my consciousness. Not just any song, but one that had been a favorite since hearing it years ago in the movie “Oklahoma.” The song was “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning.” I started singing it, actually belting it out with all the feeling I could muster.

The positive energy in the lyrics, as well as my inner desire to return to the balanced, peaceful state I experience when I am connected to my inner guidance-God, brought me back to center. From this place of clarity, I was then able to resume my healthy daily routine and to ask for help in understanding the high-tech decisions required and thus resolving the issues.

I realized once again that facing and growing through another layer of this life pattern released more of the energy I apparently still hold around the invalid belief that I am less-than simply because I don’t know everything about everything. When I am connected to my center-higher intelligence-God I am fully aware that it isn’t necessary or possible to know everything about life or anything else.

The ongoing challenge on the path to free us to live as the true powerful spiritual beings we are is to be able to work through the “opportunities” while maintaining our center. I have learned through many such experiences that the ultimate goal is to make the connection with our inner guidance-God so strong and stable that no matter what situations arise, we can work through them with ease and equanimity.

In this recent instance, I was able to reclaim my natural connection with God by pouring my heart’s desire into the words of the song and embodying them as my truth. During ordinary times, I rely on meditation and positive affirmations to heighten my connection with the sanctuary of unconditional love, peace, joy and guidance that is within every human being. Here is one of my favorite affirmations, which I repeat daily with heartfelt acceptance, emotion, faith and gratitude: Something wonderful is happening in my life and affairs right now. I sense it. I feel it. I know it! I accept it! And so it is! Thank you, God. Thank you, Life.
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Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Living Life On Purpose

Like some other fortunate individuals, I sensed at a very young age that there was a purpose to humans existing on Earth. Somehow I just knew it. Naturally, I wondered what my own mission would be. At that time, I was entranced with Saturday afternoon matinees at the local movie theater, which featured either an “oater” (a Western) or an adventure like Sky King. I was deeply touched by the theme of the movies, which promoted the prevailing values of the time: truth, justice and the American Way. I decided to try to live this quality of life, hoping that whatever I was meant to be or do would be equally commendable.

Then “life” happened and the subliminal urging to seek my soul work dimmed in the face of a flurry of other concerns.

Many years would pass before I was once again moved to follow the concept of fulfilling a life purpose. When I did, I wondered if I was already living it just by being alive and being me. After all, no one else on Earth could do that. Part of me really hoped this was so – as there were fewer years before me than behind me. If there was something more I was born to know, do or become, then I needed to get on with it as soon as possible.

By this time, I was aware that finding and living our life purpose is a lifelong learning process. I had no illusions that my path would include some heroic deed that would play out like those I'd watched on the “silver screen.” Nor did I truly desire that. What I sought was far more essential and private. I just wanted to discover and live a meaningful life, no matter what that might mean.

Since we don’t receive a manual at birth as to how life on Earth works or what our sacred contribution is to be, it is necessary to turn within to discover our true North, our life mission. When I did this more than a decade ago, I learned that daily meditation was a key to attaining, maintaining and strengthening a connection with the higher intelligence-guidance-unconditional love-God that resides within each of us. Once we decide to seek our life’s purpose, and are in cooperation with that inner guidance, we are led into the process of discovering, embodying and living our true destiny.

In my case, I have been a writer all my life, but never thought the writing I did to make a living would be part of my inborn life goal. It was just my “day job.” Yet, there turned out to be a world of difference between the writing I did for clients or employers and that which I was led to do as an integral part of my life’s purpose. I discovered that in sharing my spiritual journey with others through writing, I was filled with a great energy, an unwavering commitment and a joy and passion I had never experienced before. I knew then that I’d found my life mission and that I was now living “on purpose.”

For the past decade, I have been led to share through the gift of writing what I am living and learning to help others and inspire them to begin their own inner journey. This is especially important today, as we are all needed to help each other and the world through this time of tumult and transformational change. Throughout the ages, spiritual visionaries and sages have known that even a small number of people can have a disproportionate impact for good in the world. To do this we must each turn within to discover and live what we were born to be.

The natural soul urging that I experienced many years ago is inherent within each of us. When we awaken to it, we are called to further what is positive and good in the universe. This is the impulse that activates humanity to ever higher aspirations, and is the source of the wellspring of hope we hold in our hearts.

I assure you that whatever your soul purpose is, you can absolutely discover it, and it is absolutely do-able. I can also promise you that no accomplishment in the external world can touch the sense of fulfillment and peace you experience when you begin living your life “on purpose.”
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Copyright 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The True Path to Happy Holidays Comes From Within

Several weeks ago at a local church, the minister announced holiday events for those who have no family or who choose not to be with the family they do have during the holidays. While this brought an amused reaction from the congregation, it is common knowledge that in today’s world many people experience sorrow over broken family relationships.

I understand that kind of sadness. I realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday.

Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.

There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.

However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.

This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives.

This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.

What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch [The author is on holiday. This is one of her most popular seasonal essays.]

The author’s books, THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY— How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within; Tea with Elisabeth, and You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World, are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

It Takes More than New Year's Resolutions to Change Your Life

Like millions of others, I made New Year’s resolutions in the past, and then failed to fulfill them. This annual ritual became an exercise in how to beat myself up for my failures.

Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life over three decades ago.

It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.

I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.

The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.

If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.

The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.

While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our life, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.

Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.

Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. Say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.