It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I know that change is the only constant in life and nothing remains the same for long. I have learned to cope with many life changes, but when one affects my inner peace, it commands my full attention.
I’ve also known for a long time that life on Earth is all about learning lessons. When it is time for us to grow – or past time – the universe gives us a shove by presenting us with changes that are opportunities to stretch and continue expanding our awareness.
I confess that like many people, the older I get the more I resist change. The most recent example of this surfaced for me when I once again heard from family and friends that it was time for me to move into a single-level house because my future health situation might preclude being able to negotiate stairs.
First of all, I’m healthy and love everything about my townhouse, from the location to the vaulted ceilings and the upstairs bedroom – which reminds me of a childhood tree house – to the small patio garden that allows me a daily dose of God’s beauty and goodness. Second, since I believe in living in the present and expecting the best, it didn’t make sense to sell my beloved house now because of an imagined possible negative situation in the future.
However, their concern lingered in my mind, as it seemed so strong and sincere that I began doubting my decision. Was I just being stubborn and foolish, or worse yet, experiencing every senior citizen’s worst nightmare – losing our grip on reality? The more I thought about that, the more I dipped into fear and it was impossible to think about moving or not moving objectively.
After a week of angst, I realized that I was in a tug-of-war with that part of self with the small “s” which refers to the “little me,” the ego. In other words, the ego seeks to control our experiences in the world based on false information we subconsciously believe about ourselves. This includes our weaknesses, defenses, sense of self-worth and our fears, especially the fear of big changes in our lives.
When I finally turned within and asked for guidance, I was led to mentally go back to the time I made the original decision to remain in the townhouse after the death of my husband. As I settled into this experience, I once again felt the love and clarity of that moment. I also realized quickly that in doing this I had reclaimed my inner peace.
Free of the ego’s grip and the fear of change, I was now open to allow wisdom and truth to flow through me. I was fully and wholly able to bless my family and friends for caring and to confirm my original decision as long as it made sense – and when it didn’t any more, I would make whatever change was needed at that time.
When changes, challenges and life decisions come up that threaten our equilibrium, we can be certain that the ego also rises. What we don’t have to do is give in to the vise grip of the ego, which can so discombobulate us that we can’t see the truth in a situation and come to a clear, reasoned decision.
Since we’re aware that as long as we are on Earth there will be changes, as well as more lessons to learn, I recommend repeating these daily affirmations: I choose God-Truth and make healthy, life-enhancing choices about every change, challenge or decision that presents itself in my life. In, for, with and through God, nothing can threaten my inner stability!
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
The Gift In Releasing the Ego: Expressing Our True Selves
I was first introduced to the concept of self-mastery years ago through a book by Stuart Wilde. He said that at some point on our spiritual journeys we must learn to control our emotions and thoughts so that we can – my words – keep our egos in check and express our true selves.
As I focused on the idea of self-mastery, I thought back to my husband’s lengthy death process and the dramatic and life-changing experience that enabled me to release my ego and express the highest and best within me. This also brought to mind a number of defining moments in my life that set the stage for this situation to manifest in our lives.
At age 10, I was spending a week at my maternal grandparents’ farm during summer vacation. These visits were one of the highlights of my life and were usually marked by love, laughter and music, as my grandfather played the violin and my grandmother the organ.
One night while I was there, my grandfather died in his sleep and the next day as relatives arrived, the energy in the house shifted. This was my first encounter with death, and I was stunned that conversation was reduced to whispers, and everything, including the black clothing everyone was now wearing, created a dark cloud of grief, fear and foreboding. No one could or would spend much time in the same room with my grandfather, even my grandmother, as she would collapse in tears. I felt only love and peace, so I sat with him until they took his body away.
When I was twelve, my best friend, Mary, came to school and told me her grandmother had died the night before. My face must have registered my feelings because before I could speak, she said, “Oh, it wasn’t like that.” She explained that her grandmother called all the family into her hospital room and told each one how much she loved them. Then she smiled and said, “Now go home. I’m going home.” She died that night. Both of these end-of-life situations were seared in my consciousness.
After an early marriage to an equally young spouse, and the ensuing emotional upheaval of divorce, I was led to a spiritual philosophy that I could embrace with my heart and mind – and which also provided the tools I needed to create a successful life. Within seven years after the divorce, I had met and married the love of my life.
From then on, no matter what was going on in my personal or business life, I was drawn like a magnet to all the books on death and dying. I attended a host of conferences and workshops led by most of the leaders in this field, including Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the acknowledged world expert on the subject. I had also become a hospice volunteer and assisted a number of patients in their death processes, as well as a brother-in-law, two siblings and my parents.
By that time, I knew that a major component of my life purpose was to assist a fellow soul through the death process in a way that was more conscious and aware, more spiritually enlightened and more loving than I had ever heard of or read about.
What I didn’t understand back then was that the ability to facilitate this experience must happen through me – which meant that somehow I would have to grow in conscious awareness in order to fulfill this life goal. I also had no idea when, with whom or how I was to accomplish this out-of-the ordinary objective.
In what seemed a miraculous coincidence, Dr. Kübler-Ross relocated for her health in 1994 to a city near my home; our paths crossed again and we became close friends. At that time, my beloved husband’s health was beginning to fail and I knew immediately that this was the time and he was the individual that I was to assist through the death process in a different way. However, after a few years of trying to do it by myself, I realized I was failing. I called Elisabeth seeking her counsel, and her advice was, “Follow your heart, Fern, your heart knows the way.”
I thought I had been doing that, but after reflection I knew my friend was gently reminding me to turn to the greater power within me, instead of trying to do it all alone. Actually I had been seeking a connection with God through meditation, prayer and journaling for many years, but after all that time it was still a one-sided conversation. The next defining moment happened as if on cue.
A few days later when I went to visit my husband at the hospital, I found him in a non-lucid state. I was shocked when he asked me to arrange a wedding for him with the young aide who brought his food tray. I knew he recognized me, but obviously he didn’t remember that we were married or anything about our wonderful life together. My ego was devastated. I cried all the way home.
I went straight to my meditation chair, but instead of sitting down I fell to my knees in abject sorrow and surrender. I cried until I couldn’t cry any more. When I stood up, I felt an empowering surge of energy course through me. I wiped my face and declared to God: I will never give up or give in. I will have this personal connection with you or know the reason why not!
From that day forward, through journaling, I received the love, support and guidance we needed. I was also led to release my ego and then, no matter my husband’s physical or mental condition I was able to be totally present for him. Our experience was transformed. Three years later, he made his final transition in the time and way his soul desired. I was left with a joyous anticipation of the future, a reaffirmation of life and a deep inner peace.
The moral of this true story, and the gift in it, is that by gradually taking command of our egos and consciously correcting their limiting beliefs about us, we enter into the freedom of living our greater selves, the True Selves that we were born to be. This is the point of connection with God and all others. We are then grounded in the power that can satisfy our needs and in the balance-wholeness that dissolves all fears and uncertainties.
________________________________
Copyright © 2010 Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books, including “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
As I focused on the idea of self-mastery, I thought back to my husband’s lengthy death process and the dramatic and life-changing experience that enabled me to release my ego and express the highest and best within me. This also brought to mind a number of defining moments in my life that set the stage for this situation to manifest in our lives.
At age 10, I was spending a week at my maternal grandparents’ farm during summer vacation. These visits were one of the highlights of my life and were usually marked by love, laughter and music, as my grandfather played the violin and my grandmother the organ.
One night while I was there, my grandfather died in his sleep and the next day as relatives arrived, the energy in the house shifted. This was my first encounter with death, and I was stunned that conversation was reduced to whispers, and everything, including the black clothing everyone was now wearing, created a dark cloud of grief, fear and foreboding. No one could or would spend much time in the same room with my grandfather, even my grandmother, as she would collapse in tears. I felt only love and peace, so I sat with him until they took his body away.
When I was twelve, my best friend, Mary, came to school and told me her grandmother had died the night before. My face must have registered my feelings because before I could speak, she said, “Oh, it wasn’t like that.” She explained that her grandmother called all the family into her hospital room and told each one how much she loved them. Then she smiled and said, “Now go home. I’m going home.” She died that night. Both of these end-of-life situations were seared in my consciousness.
After an early marriage to an equally young spouse, and the ensuing emotional upheaval of divorce, I was led to a spiritual philosophy that I could embrace with my heart and mind – and which also provided the tools I needed to create a successful life. Within seven years after the divorce, I had met and married the love of my life.
From then on, no matter what was going on in my personal or business life, I was drawn like a magnet to all the books on death and dying. I attended a host of conferences and workshops led by most of the leaders in this field, including Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the acknowledged world expert on the subject. I had also become a hospice volunteer and assisted a number of patients in their death processes, as well as a brother-in-law, two siblings and my parents.
By that time, I knew that a major component of my life purpose was to assist a fellow soul through the death process in a way that was more conscious and aware, more spiritually enlightened and more loving than I had ever heard of or read about.
What I didn’t understand back then was that the ability to facilitate this experience must happen through me – which meant that somehow I would have to grow in conscious awareness in order to fulfill this life goal. I also had no idea when, with whom or how I was to accomplish this out-of-the ordinary objective.
In what seemed a miraculous coincidence, Dr. Kübler-Ross relocated for her health in 1994 to a city near my home; our paths crossed again and we became close friends. At that time, my beloved husband’s health was beginning to fail and I knew immediately that this was the time and he was the individual that I was to assist through the death process in a different way. However, after a few years of trying to do it by myself, I realized I was failing. I called Elisabeth seeking her counsel, and her advice was, “Follow your heart, Fern, your heart knows the way.”
I thought I had been doing that, but after reflection I knew my friend was gently reminding me to turn to the greater power within me, instead of trying to do it all alone. Actually I had been seeking a connection with God through meditation, prayer and journaling for many years, but after all that time it was still a one-sided conversation. The next defining moment happened as if on cue.
A few days later when I went to visit my husband at the hospital, I found him in a non-lucid state. I was shocked when he asked me to arrange a wedding for him with the young aide who brought his food tray. I knew he recognized me, but obviously he didn’t remember that we were married or anything about our wonderful life together. My ego was devastated. I cried all the way home.
I went straight to my meditation chair, but instead of sitting down I fell to my knees in abject sorrow and surrender. I cried until I couldn’t cry any more. When I stood up, I felt an empowering surge of energy course through me. I wiped my face and declared to God: I will never give up or give in. I will have this personal connection with you or know the reason why not!
From that day forward, through journaling, I received the love, support and guidance we needed. I was also led to release my ego and then, no matter my husband’s physical or mental condition I was able to be totally present for him. Our experience was transformed. Three years later, he made his final transition in the time and way his soul desired. I was left with a joyous anticipation of the future, a reaffirmation of life and a deep inner peace.
The moral of this true story, and the gift in it, is that by gradually taking command of our egos and consciously correcting their limiting beliefs about us, we enter into the freedom of living our greater selves, the True Selves that we were born to be. This is the point of connection with God and all others. We are then grounded in the power that can satisfy our needs and in the balance-wholeness that dissolves all fears and uncertainties.
________________________________
Copyright © 2010 Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books, including “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within,” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, March 1, 2010
How Life on Earth Really Works: Mastering the Art of Living
I recently received a letter from a friend who told me she is experiencing “an emotional earthquake.” Her marriage is broken, a divorce is in process and she and her children are devastated. I found myself greatly touched by her situation – partly because of the intensity of her heart-searing words and my caring for her – but also because I’ve been there.
Similar dramas are playing out daily across our country as divorce rates continue to soar. The reasons for this disturbing trend are many and varied, but primarily the explosion of failed marriages is due to each of us not knowing who we are, what we truly desire in life, a lack of awareness of what it takes to create a successful relationship and – even more important – having absolutely no idea How Life on Earth Really Works.
In preparation for what I would share with her when she was starting to heal emotionally and was ready to learn from the experience and move on, I started thinking back to my divorce three decades ago. I smiled as I recalled how at that time I believed and mourned the “fact” that my life was over – in my thirties. The smile broadened when I recalled that seven years after my divorce, I married the love of my life and lived the relationship I always knew was possible for twenty-three incredible years.
Today, almost a decade after his death, I experience joy and happiness every day as I continue to learn how life really works and to enhance my expertise in mastering the Art of Living.
If you follow my writings, you know that they focus on three basic concepts:
*Realizing we must align with our inner guidance, whether we call it our authentic self, soul or God – rather than buying into the crazy-making beliefs of the external world that are generally empty, ineffectual and valueless.
*Growing through life instead of just going through it.
*Knowing that by changing our thoughts, we can positively change our lives.
I know, for I have lived these concepts to the best of my conscious awareness and ability for thirty-plus years. It is an ongoing process, and I definitely have more work to do, but my current conscious awareness (compared to how I lived my life in the past) bears witness to the dramatic and real difference these principles can make in anyone's life.
Another insight I gained in those early and tumultuous years is that the only constant in life is change, and that things will happen. My good friend the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said, “There are no accidents, everything in life happens for a positive reason.” I agree totally. Usually a change that represents a defining moment is the result of a deep soul urging within us that is sending us a message – sometimes not too gently. The impetus is either to get us on track with what we came into this life to learn – or to pull us up short by any means possible to get our attention and help us make a course correction.
The message is always to help us become aware of who we really are – spiritual beings having human experiences – so that we can learn to walk the path as human beings while expressing our authentic true selves. When we become aware that life happens from within us out rather than from the external in, we are naturally moved to focus on the energy-intelligence-power that is in us and everything in the universe.
As individualized expressions of this energy, we become aware that this is where our real power exists and that we are to live from this awareness. When we align with this inner power and can control our thoughts and emotions, we are then able to make choices that bring into our lives what we really desire.
I pray that my friend will be open to the opportunity to choose a path that will enrich and balance her life, her family’s and all those she touches. The choice, as always, is hers to make. It also will take courage and commitment, but what in life that is truly worthwhile doesn’t?
Everything in life happens for a positive reason. When we can master the Art of Living – find love and peace within ourselves and live in harmony with friends, families and others – then there is an opportunity for peace within the Family of Man. Each soul is part of this divine plan.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Similar dramas are playing out daily across our country as divorce rates continue to soar. The reasons for this disturbing trend are many and varied, but primarily the explosion of failed marriages is due to each of us not knowing who we are, what we truly desire in life, a lack of awareness of what it takes to create a successful relationship and – even more important – having absolutely no idea How Life on Earth Really Works.
In preparation for what I would share with her when she was starting to heal emotionally and was ready to learn from the experience and move on, I started thinking back to my divorce three decades ago. I smiled as I recalled how at that time I believed and mourned the “fact” that my life was over – in my thirties. The smile broadened when I recalled that seven years after my divorce, I married the love of my life and lived the relationship I always knew was possible for twenty-three incredible years.
Today, almost a decade after his death, I experience joy and happiness every day as I continue to learn how life really works and to enhance my expertise in mastering the Art of Living.
If you follow my writings, you know that they focus on three basic concepts:
*Realizing we must align with our inner guidance, whether we call it our authentic self, soul or God – rather than buying into the crazy-making beliefs of the external world that are generally empty, ineffectual and valueless.
*Growing through life instead of just going through it.
*Knowing that by changing our thoughts, we can positively change our lives.
I know, for I have lived these concepts to the best of my conscious awareness and ability for thirty-plus years. It is an ongoing process, and I definitely have more work to do, but my current conscious awareness (compared to how I lived my life in the past) bears witness to the dramatic and real difference these principles can make in anyone's life.
Another insight I gained in those early and tumultuous years is that the only constant in life is change, and that things will happen. My good friend the late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said, “There are no accidents, everything in life happens for a positive reason.” I agree totally. Usually a change that represents a defining moment is the result of a deep soul urging within us that is sending us a message – sometimes not too gently. The impetus is either to get us on track with what we came into this life to learn – or to pull us up short by any means possible to get our attention and help us make a course correction.
The message is always to help us become aware of who we really are – spiritual beings having human experiences – so that we can learn to walk the path as human beings while expressing our authentic true selves. When we become aware that life happens from within us out rather than from the external in, we are naturally moved to focus on the energy-intelligence-power that is in us and everything in the universe.
As individualized expressions of this energy, we become aware that this is where our real power exists and that we are to live from this awareness. When we align with this inner power and can control our thoughts and emotions, we are then able to make choices that bring into our lives what we really desire.
I pray that my friend will be open to the opportunity to choose a path that will enrich and balance her life, her family’s and all those she touches. The choice, as always, is hers to make. It also will take courage and commitment, but what in life that is truly worthwhile doesn’t?
Everything in life happens for a positive reason. When we can master the Art of Living – find love and peace within ourselves and live in harmony with friends, families and others – then there is an opportunity for peace within the Family of Man. Each soul is part of this divine plan.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Changing the Old Negative Idea of Selfish to "SELFNESS"
When my generation of seniors was growing up, most of us were taught to place everyone else’s needs and desires above our own. Behaving this way was supposed to show that we were thoughtful, loving and helpful, as well as a shining reflection of our parents. Any indication that we were egotistically putting self first was looked upon negatively as selfish by our parents, teachers and other authority figures and considered right up there with life’s mortal sins.
In the decades between the 1930s and 1950s, no one seemed to realize that denying self could have damaging effects on every aspect of our lives – including our physical health. The result of this concept of child rearing – teaching children to put themselves last – has created countless numbers of individuals who believed we were not lovable, or worthy of good in our lives. This lack of worthiness meant that we failed to fulfill our own needs. Undoubtedly this contributed to or is wholly responsible for many difficulties, including our nation having the highest number of obesity-related health problems in the world.
It wasn’t until after 1960 when the “me-first generation” came into being that people began to recognize the two extremes. The truth is that there are countless millions of us who never bought into the blatant egotism of the “me-first” concept, and still haven’t replaced our equally unbalanced programming with more healthful thought processes.
We don’t have to look past our own families to see examples of loved ones, primarily women, but also men who were inculcated unknowingly into our culture’s twisted badge of honor concerning ignoring our own needs and placing others first even to our own detriment. Without being fully aware that they have a choice and can honor both, many mature adults, whether as professional caregivers or for love of family, continue sacrificing health and happiness in the pursuit of being martyrs without a valid cause.
Fortunately it doesn’t have to be that way. We now know that no matter what undesirable thoughts we hold deep in our subconscious – or how long we’ve held these thoughts – we can change them and in the process change our lives.
Being human, it sometimes takes a health problem or a serious life event to let us know we are out of balance in some area of our lives. I am grateful that my body’s wake-up call wasn’t the equivalent of being hit in the forehead by a 2x4, but it did the job. I took the time to turn within and realistically assess my life, my habits and what contributed to the ailment. I soon realized that my diet wasn’t appropriate for this condition, neither was my cavalier attitude toward exercise, especially in dealing with stress, which if you’re alive you evidently have a lot of. And a great deal of this derived from always taking care of others but neglecting myself.
It also soon became obvious that, like many others, I still held some level of conflicting feelings about loving myself enough to place my needs first and to take responsibility for the care of my body. In realizing this and acting upon it, I recognized the core concept that was missing from my life since childhood: Self Love and Self Care. The difference in the approach – from trying to “force” my body to do what I wanted, to loving and cooperating with it – has made a remarkable difference in my ability to stay committed and disciplined.
It is crystal clear that if we’re not nurturing and loving ourselves with good physical care and looking after our mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, then at some point we will experience an imbalance in our lives. The result is ultimately an illness or disease process, or a residual unhappiness with ourselves, others and our lives – or all the above. Then, not only are we not taking care of ourselves, we aren’t able to care for others, either.
This pattern will continue until we stop and recognize the powerful and subconscious directives that have determined our lives, and replace them with new, positive and life-enhancing thoughts.
The error in our parents’ methodology was that it put the cart before the horse. First and foremost, children must be taught self love and self care, and this must be respected and supported in order to achieve balance of body, mind and spirit – wholeness. As we love and care for our physical vehicles, which allow us life on this planet, we are able to live from the highest and best within us. This enlightened approach creates a wellspring of joy, love and peace within, which honors us – and from which we can more healthfully serve ourselves, others, life and God.
Here are some positive affirmations to use: I love and care for myself. I now willingly release any thoughts, beliefs, fears, needs or life patterns in my subconscious that create imbalance in my body, mind and spirit. I am perfect, whole and complete right now.
__________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
In the decades between the 1930s and 1950s, no one seemed to realize that denying self could have damaging effects on every aspect of our lives – including our physical health. The result of this concept of child rearing – teaching children to put themselves last – has created countless numbers of individuals who believed we were not lovable, or worthy of good in our lives. This lack of worthiness meant that we failed to fulfill our own needs. Undoubtedly this contributed to or is wholly responsible for many difficulties, including our nation having the highest number of obesity-related health problems in the world.
It wasn’t until after 1960 when the “me-first generation” came into being that people began to recognize the two extremes. The truth is that there are countless millions of us who never bought into the blatant egotism of the “me-first” concept, and still haven’t replaced our equally unbalanced programming with more healthful thought processes.
We don’t have to look past our own families to see examples of loved ones, primarily women, but also men who were inculcated unknowingly into our culture’s twisted badge of honor concerning ignoring our own needs and placing others first even to our own detriment. Without being fully aware that they have a choice and can honor both, many mature adults, whether as professional caregivers or for love of family, continue sacrificing health and happiness in the pursuit of being martyrs without a valid cause.
Fortunately it doesn’t have to be that way. We now know that no matter what undesirable thoughts we hold deep in our subconscious – or how long we’ve held these thoughts – we can change them and in the process change our lives.
Being human, it sometimes takes a health problem or a serious life event to let us know we are out of balance in some area of our lives. I am grateful that my body’s wake-up call wasn’t the equivalent of being hit in the forehead by a 2x4, but it did the job. I took the time to turn within and realistically assess my life, my habits and what contributed to the ailment. I soon realized that my diet wasn’t appropriate for this condition, neither was my cavalier attitude toward exercise, especially in dealing with stress, which if you’re alive you evidently have a lot of. And a great deal of this derived from always taking care of others but neglecting myself.
It also soon became obvious that, like many others, I still held some level of conflicting feelings about loving myself enough to place my needs first and to take responsibility for the care of my body. In realizing this and acting upon it, I recognized the core concept that was missing from my life since childhood: Self Love and Self Care. The difference in the approach – from trying to “force” my body to do what I wanted, to loving and cooperating with it – has made a remarkable difference in my ability to stay committed and disciplined.
It is crystal clear that if we’re not nurturing and loving ourselves with good physical care and looking after our mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, then at some point we will experience an imbalance in our lives. The result is ultimately an illness or disease process, or a residual unhappiness with ourselves, others and our lives – or all the above. Then, not only are we not taking care of ourselves, we aren’t able to care for others, either.
This pattern will continue until we stop and recognize the powerful and subconscious directives that have determined our lives, and replace them with new, positive and life-enhancing thoughts.
The error in our parents’ methodology was that it put the cart before the horse. First and foremost, children must be taught self love and self care, and this must be respected and supported in order to achieve balance of body, mind and spirit – wholeness. As we love and care for our physical vehicles, which allow us life on this planet, we are able to live from the highest and best within us. This enlightened approach creates a wellspring of joy, love and peace within, which honors us – and from which we can more healthfully serve ourselves, others, life and God.
Here are some positive affirmations to use: I love and care for myself. I now willingly release any thoughts, beliefs, fears, needs or life patterns in my subconscious that create imbalance in my body, mind and spirit. I am perfect, whole and complete right now.
__________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Attaining and Maintaining Inner Peace ... No Matter What Happens
During this dramatic and emotional time in our country and the world, what we all need is a heaping helping of inner peace. From my experience, the challenge here is two-fold. First we must recognize that it is possible to attain this state even in these difficult times and then that it is imminently worth the time, energy and resolve it takes to get there. I know. It took me many years and many life upheavals, traumas and challenges before I was literally brought to my knees in desperation – with a willingness to do whatever it took to bring some inner calm into my life.
What I had to get past in order to open to this possibility of inner peace may sound familiar to some of you. Like most people I had heard about the peace that passeth understanding all my life. The rub was that I considered it a platitude, a carrot, a myth that was perpetuated by organized religion to keep members hanging in there. Actually, at that time I had never met a church-going person, or anyone else for that matter, who radiated inner peace, knew what it was, or claimed this was something that was attainable or desirable. While this doesn’t say much for my spiritual awareness back then, it’s just where I was.
As it turned out, the only myth I was wrestling with was the fact that inner peace is not and never has been the property of organized religion. What I have learned is that the universal life force-energy, which we call God, did not develop religion – humanity did – and God has no connection with its dogmas, rules and rituals. It was simply man’s positive desire to try to make sense of why he was on Earth and what he was supposed to do.
I find it interesting that Native Americans have been advising us for centuries that we will never find inner peace through overworking ourselves and rushing through life, which is what most of us do because we don’t know any better. The first step in finding inner peace lies in recognizing there is something in us that isn’t satisfied by the greed and $ucce$$-at-any-price culture that exists today. Many of us know this somewhere in our hearts and minds, but we seem to be stuck in the fallacy that tells us that if we can gather enough money and possessions we can make our own security and have peace of mind. That sentence concludes with the unspoken phrase … and the bloody blazes with everyone else.
The problem with thinking we are independent of everyone else is that it isn’t true. We are actually dependent and interdependent on all others. Whether we are aware of this or not, like it or not, we are one with all life on Earth and what benefits one, benefits all, and what harms one harms us all.
We are also one with the eternal and sublime energy that we call God, which is why when we turn within and consistently connect with this awareness we can cultivate an inner peace and calm that nothing can disturb. The Truth is that the Infinite-Life Force-God is always at peace, as there is nothing that can disturb it. And as we strengthen our link with the Infinite, which is the birthright of every human being, we share in that peace.
This process also opens us to the sanctuary of unconditional love that is the heart’s desire of every individual on Earth, as well as the guidance, support, wisdom and, yes, the peace that really does surpass our understanding.
I learned that maintaining inner peace no matter what happens is not easy but it is possible. The key lies in making it a daily habit to connect with our inner selves and to consistently forgive ourselves and others, which releases the past. Then when any untoward event or situation comes up in our lives, we remember that all life is change. Instead of condemning the incident, and as soon after the optional hissy-fit as possible, we then ask what is to be learned from this “challenge.”
As we continue to take this positive approach, eventually we come to a point where we can actually bless the event or situation and recognize it as an opportunity for soul growth. When we can do this, the time frame for learning the lesson is greatly decreased, and the gift in it – which is always to open us to receive more good in life – manifests much more quickly.
By consistently strengthening our connection with the Infinite within us, and letting go of the past by forgiving ourselves and others – we are on the path to lasting inner peace.
__________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
[For details on how to develop inner peace, go to www.FernStewartWelch.com and click on How-to Lists – “Connect with God.”]
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
What I had to get past in order to open to this possibility of inner peace may sound familiar to some of you. Like most people I had heard about the peace that passeth understanding all my life. The rub was that I considered it a platitude, a carrot, a myth that was perpetuated by organized religion to keep members hanging in there. Actually, at that time I had never met a church-going person, or anyone else for that matter, who radiated inner peace, knew what it was, or claimed this was something that was attainable or desirable. While this doesn’t say much for my spiritual awareness back then, it’s just where I was.
As it turned out, the only myth I was wrestling with was the fact that inner peace is not and never has been the property of organized religion. What I have learned is that the universal life force-energy, which we call God, did not develop religion – humanity did – and God has no connection with its dogmas, rules and rituals. It was simply man’s positive desire to try to make sense of why he was on Earth and what he was supposed to do.
I find it interesting that Native Americans have been advising us for centuries that we will never find inner peace through overworking ourselves and rushing through life, which is what most of us do because we don’t know any better. The first step in finding inner peace lies in recognizing there is something in us that isn’t satisfied by the greed and $ucce$$-at-any-price culture that exists today. Many of us know this somewhere in our hearts and minds, but we seem to be stuck in the fallacy that tells us that if we can gather enough money and possessions we can make our own security and have peace of mind. That sentence concludes with the unspoken phrase … and the bloody blazes with everyone else.
The problem with thinking we are independent of everyone else is that it isn’t true. We are actually dependent and interdependent on all others. Whether we are aware of this or not, like it or not, we are one with all life on Earth and what benefits one, benefits all, and what harms one harms us all.
We are also one with the eternal and sublime energy that we call God, which is why when we turn within and consistently connect with this awareness we can cultivate an inner peace and calm that nothing can disturb. The Truth is that the Infinite-Life Force-God is always at peace, as there is nothing that can disturb it. And as we strengthen our link with the Infinite, which is the birthright of every human being, we share in that peace.
This process also opens us to the sanctuary of unconditional love that is the heart’s desire of every individual on Earth, as well as the guidance, support, wisdom and, yes, the peace that really does surpass our understanding.
I learned that maintaining inner peace no matter what happens is not easy but it is possible. The key lies in making it a daily habit to connect with our inner selves and to consistently forgive ourselves and others, which releases the past. Then when any untoward event or situation comes up in our lives, we remember that all life is change. Instead of condemning the incident, and as soon after the optional hissy-fit as possible, we then ask what is to be learned from this “challenge.”
As we continue to take this positive approach, eventually we come to a point where we can actually bless the event or situation and recognize it as an opportunity for soul growth. When we can do this, the time frame for learning the lesson is greatly decreased, and the gift in it – which is always to open us to receive more good in life – manifests much more quickly.
By consistently strengthening our connection with the Infinite within us, and letting go of the past by forgiving ourselves and others – we are on the path to lasting inner peace.
__________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
[For details on how to develop inner peace, go to www.FernStewartWelch.com and click on How-to Lists – “Connect with God.”]
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Seven Sins of the World That Are Destined to Do Us In ... Unless We Take Action Now!
Every meaningful and rational conversation I’ve had recently centers on the overwhelming challenges facing our world today. The list is long, but at the top are such issues as terrorism, nuclear proliferation, religious and ethnic conflict, population, as well as the environment and world health. Those are in addition to emerging technologies and economic globalization, and all are linked to creating the greatest changes humanity has ever faced before.
With this astounding future in store, it seems impossible to know where to start or what to do to bring us to a new shared vision for humanity that includes a way to ensure sustainable life on Earth and that embraces goodwill, generosity, decency and order – for all.
As I focused on the mind-boggling global challenges we face, I thought once again of a recent speech made by Arun Gandhi, grandson of the late Mahatma Gandhi. Arun is one of the most respected and influential leaders of the peace movement today. In mentioning his grandfather he repeated a visionary pronouncement made at least a century ago by India’s “Great Soul:” There is a culture of violence permeating our lives, our country and the world.
Mahatma Gandhi then listed the “Seven Sins or Blunders of Our World” that he believed foster violence and that would eventually destroy us. Here they are as originally stated in their cryptic yet powerful form:
With this astounding future in store, it seems impossible to know where to start or what to do to bring us to a new shared vision for humanity that includes a way to ensure sustainable life on Earth and that embraces goodwill, generosity, decency and order – for all.
As I focused on the mind-boggling global challenges we face, I thought once again of a recent speech made by Arun Gandhi, grandson of the late Mahatma Gandhi. Arun is one of the most respected and influential leaders of the peace movement today. In mentioning his grandfather he repeated a visionary pronouncement made at least a century ago by India’s “Great Soul:” There is a culture of violence permeating our lives, our country and the world.
Mahatma Gandhi then listed the “Seven Sins or Blunders of Our World” that he believed foster violence and that would eventually destroy us. Here they are as originally stated in their cryptic yet powerful form:
Wealth Without Work
Pleasure Without Conscience
Knowledge Without Character
Commerce Without Morality
Commerce Without Morality
Science Without Humanity
Worship Without Sacrifice
Politics Without Principle
Politics Without Principle
In order to help myself and others more fully grasp the impact that these social/political conditions have had and continue to have on our world, I have added a brief descriptive comment to each issue.
Wealth Without Work speaks to the concept of getting something for nothing, and has spawned the greed and get-rich-quick schemes that focus on manipulating markets and people and turning a blind eye to natural laws and principles. Pleasure Without Conscience refers to the immature, greedy and selfish acts of those who seek only what pleasures and benefits them. Knowledge Without Character points up that intellectual development without an equally strong, principled character is as dangerous as allowing a child to play with a loaded gun. Commerce Without Morality highlights the fact that there is something covert and condoned in business transactions today that lack any moral or ethical sense of benevolence, fairness or goodwill toward anyone involved. Science Without Humanity concerns the higher purpose of humanity that is meant to be served by technology; not the other way around, which may bring great breakthroughs for science but little advancement for humanity. Worship Without Sacrifice means individuals may take on the surface trappings of a belief system without ever living it fully, which means realizing that we are here to help and serve others. Politics Without Principle means that absent an agreed-upon value system aligned with society’s will and with appropriate principles, the result will be a political system that is devoid of order and rules that will eventually become toxic due to distorted or lost values.
The list confirms what we’ve known for a long time. There is a great lack of ethics, honesty, integrity, morals and principles in our world today. This brings me to my favorite quote by Mahatma Gandhi: We must be the change we seek in the world.
Many of us are aware that collective change in the world will never be possible unless we each follow that dictum in our own lives. We must develop our own code of ethics, live it in our personal lives, role model it for our children and grandchildren and expect it to be mirrored in and reinforced on all levels of socio-economic-political life.
Additionally, we must open to the concept of using the power of our collective thoughts to make our world whole again. It is time to accept that we have everything within us to be co-creators with the eternal and sublime energy that is within us and everything in the universe.
As many of us know, there are millions of people around the world who are already living the concept that we change our lives by changing our thoughts. They are proving that this works and is what the great sages and spiritual leaders have been trying to teach us for many centuries. Consider: It is done unto us as we believe; and As we think, so we are. I find it extremely interesting that this information has surfaced again and is now spreading around the world. It is exactly what humanity needs to prepare for this evolutionary time.
Just because we may not be aware of the negative effect our thoughts have on others or the world around us doesn’t mean the reality doesn’t exist; it does. Every day we unconsciously focus on our anxieties, concerns, fears, needs, losses, pains and problems. If we’re honest, this is pretty much what we unthinkingly project out into the world. This is reflected back to us in our own lives, and we must judge whether what we are attracting into our lives is desirable or undesirable. Our collective thoughts are blatantly obvious as they are mirrored in the critical situations that exist in our nation and the world today.
Now is the time to heed Mahatma Gandhi’s visionary words. It is no coincidence that we came into the Earth at this time to help a world that is in the throes of transformation. For the first time in history, we are conscious enough to realize that humanity is being pushed by extreme circumstances to grow and expand into a new way of being. Forget about being saved by technology or friendly aliens. There is no other way – these are the facts, this is the time – and we are the people.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Wealth Without Work speaks to the concept of getting something for nothing, and has spawned the greed and get-rich-quick schemes that focus on manipulating markets and people and turning a blind eye to natural laws and principles. Pleasure Without Conscience refers to the immature, greedy and selfish acts of those who seek only what pleasures and benefits them. Knowledge Without Character points up that intellectual development without an equally strong, principled character is as dangerous as allowing a child to play with a loaded gun. Commerce Without Morality highlights the fact that there is something covert and condoned in business transactions today that lack any moral or ethical sense of benevolence, fairness or goodwill toward anyone involved. Science Without Humanity concerns the higher purpose of humanity that is meant to be served by technology; not the other way around, which may bring great breakthroughs for science but little advancement for humanity. Worship Without Sacrifice means individuals may take on the surface trappings of a belief system without ever living it fully, which means realizing that we are here to help and serve others. Politics Without Principle means that absent an agreed-upon value system aligned with society’s will and with appropriate principles, the result will be a political system that is devoid of order and rules that will eventually become toxic due to distorted or lost values.
The list confirms what we’ve known for a long time. There is a great lack of ethics, honesty, integrity, morals and principles in our world today. This brings me to my favorite quote by Mahatma Gandhi: We must be the change we seek in the world.
Many of us are aware that collective change in the world will never be possible unless we each follow that dictum in our own lives. We must develop our own code of ethics, live it in our personal lives, role model it for our children and grandchildren and expect it to be mirrored in and reinforced on all levels of socio-economic-political life.
Additionally, we must open to the concept of using the power of our collective thoughts to make our world whole again. It is time to accept that we have everything within us to be co-creators with the eternal and sublime energy that is within us and everything in the universe.
As many of us know, there are millions of people around the world who are already living the concept that we change our lives by changing our thoughts. They are proving that this works and is what the great sages and spiritual leaders have been trying to teach us for many centuries. Consider: It is done unto us as we believe; and As we think, so we are. I find it extremely interesting that this information has surfaced again and is now spreading around the world. It is exactly what humanity needs to prepare for this evolutionary time.
Just because we may not be aware of the negative effect our thoughts have on others or the world around us doesn’t mean the reality doesn’t exist; it does. Every day we unconsciously focus on our anxieties, concerns, fears, needs, losses, pains and problems. If we’re honest, this is pretty much what we unthinkingly project out into the world. This is reflected back to us in our own lives, and we must judge whether what we are attracting into our lives is desirable or undesirable. Our collective thoughts are blatantly obvious as they are mirrored in the critical situations that exist in our nation and the world today.
Now is the time to heed Mahatma Gandhi’s visionary words. It is no coincidence that we came into the Earth at this time to help a world that is in the throes of transformation. For the first time in history, we are conscious enough to realize that humanity is being pushed by extreme circumstances to grow and expand into a new way of being. Forget about being saved by technology or friendly aliens. There is no other way – these are the facts, this is the time – and we are the people.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
It Takes More than New Year's Resolutions to Change Your Life
Like millions of others, I made New Year’s resolutions in the past, and then failed to fulfill them. This annual ritual became an exercise in how to beat myself up for my failures.
Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life three decades ago.
It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.
I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.
The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.
If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.
The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.
While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our lives, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.
Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.
Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. Say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
__________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
[The author is on holiday and this is one of her most requested seasonal essays.]
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life three decades ago.
It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.
I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.
The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.
If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.
The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.
While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our lives, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.
Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.
Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. Say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
__________________________________
Copyright 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
[The author is on holiday and this is one of her most requested seasonal essays.]
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
The True Path to Happy Holidays Comes From Within
Several weeks ago at a local church, the minister announced holiday events for those who have no family or who choose not to be with the family they do have during the holidays. While this brought an amused reaction from the congregation, it is common knowledge that in today’s world many people experience sorrow over broken family relationships.
I understand that kind of sadness. I realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.
I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday. Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.
It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.
There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.
However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.
This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.
What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives. This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.
My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.
What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.
I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
[The author is on holiday and this is one of her most requested seasonal essays.]
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
I understand that kind of sadness. I realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.
I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday. Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.
It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.
There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.
However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.
This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.
What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives. This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.
My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.
What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.
I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
[The author is on holiday and this is one of her most requested seasonal essays.]
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Importance of an Attitude of Gratitude
As everyone knows, we are facing serious challenges in our country right now, providing us a perfect opportunity to consider utilizing the highest and best information available to protect and maintain our health, prosperity and happiness or, if needed, to increase all three. Taking advantage of this tried and true information will benefit anyone who uses it, and in the process it will help heal America.
This information has been around for eons, and has allowed many individuals to create successful, enriching and happy lives despite external socio-economic conditions.
The primary concept, which I have written about before, is that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. Millions of people around the world are confirming the truth of this concept daily by living it. They are also attaining and maintaining an Attitude of Gratitude, which is a key component that assures success.
It is helpful to remember that gratitude is simply taking the time to look around us and appreciate what we do have. And not only does the Universe love a grateful heart, it responds affirmatively by sending us more of the good we are already enjoying. In practicing gratitude each day, this places us in alignment with what is Good in the Universe. This is a powerful place from which to act. By placing only positive thoughts and affirmations of our desires into the Universal Law, and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, we receive back what we have placed as our order.
The challenge for some of us lies in the fact that no matter what we have, we often see only lack and scarcity because we don’t have enough, or we fear it won’t be enough in the future, or isn’t everything we want, or what we really want. If we truly want to change our lives for the better, it is vitally important that we start to become consciously aware of the many Good things that actually are in our lives and to start being grateful for them – no matter how small they may seem to be at the time.
One excellent way to do this is to take time each day, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime in the evening, or both, to repeat everything we can think of that we can be grateful for in that day. Just say: I am grateful for ______________, and let your mind and heart fill in the blank. We can also make a written list or start a Gratitude Journal and keep track of everything for which we are grateful. When gratitude is practiced consistently for the good we have in our lives, the loving universe takes that as our order and sends us more of the same.
I start each morning by being grateful for another day of life, for a good night’s sleep, or an unbroken night’s sleep, for a comfortable and warm bed, for my house, my car and for each person, event and experience I will meet this day. I also repeat these affirmations daily: I am grateful for this day, knowing it is the first day of the best years of my life. I am grateful for the continuing Good that comes into my life in expected and unexpected ways.
At night, before I fall asleep, I review the day and while going over it bit by bit, I declare every event Good, every person Good and bless the day. Then I repeat these affirmations: I bless everything that happened today and everyone with whom I came in contact. I am grateful for all the Good I see in my life and for the Good that is yet to be. As I turn over, I always feel complete and clear of the happenings of the day, and just naturally drift into a peaceful sleep.
As we learn to focus on positive thoughts and to live with an attitude of gratitude, this raises our energy vibration, which also elevates the consciousness of humanity. Since our government mirrors our level of awareness, we will also be helping our country return to a state of harmony and balance, and this is another blessed gift for which we can be exceedingly grateful.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
This information has been around for eons, and has allowed many individuals to create successful, enriching and happy lives despite external socio-economic conditions.
The primary concept, which I have written about before, is that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. Millions of people around the world are confirming the truth of this concept daily by living it. They are also attaining and maintaining an Attitude of Gratitude, which is a key component that assures success.
It is helpful to remember that gratitude is simply taking the time to look around us and appreciate what we do have. And not only does the Universe love a grateful heart, it responds affirmatively by sending us more of the good we are already enjoying. In practicing gratitude each day, this places us in alignment with what is Good in the Universe. This is a powerful place from which to act. By placing only positive thoughts and affirmations of our desires into the Universal Law, and maintaining an attitude of gratitude, we receive back what we have placed as our order.
The challenge for some of us lies in the fact that no matter what we have, we often see only lack and scarcity because we don’t have enough, or we fear it won’t be enough in the future, or isn’t everything we want, or what we really want. If we truly want to change our lives for the better, it is vitally important that we start to become consciously aware of the many Good things that actually are in our lives and to start being grateful for them – no matter how small they may seem to be at the time.
One excellent way to do this is to take time each day, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime in the evening, or both, to repeat everything we can think of that we can be grateful for in that day. Just say: I am grateful for ______________, and let your mind and heart fill in the blank. We can also make a written list or start a Gratitude Journal and keep track of everything for which we are grateful. When gratitude is practiced consistently for the good we have in our lives, the loving universe takes that as our order and sends us more of the same.
I start each morning by being grateful for another day of life, for a good night’s sleep, or an unbroken night’s sleep, for a comfortable and warm bed, for my house, my car and for each person, event and experience I will meet this day. I also repeat these affirmations daily: I am grateful for this day, knowing it is the first day of the best years of my life. I am grateful for the continuing Good that comes into my life in expected and unexpected ways.
At night, before I fall asleep, I review the day and while going over it bit by bit, I declare every event Good, every person Good and bless the day. Then I repeat these affirmations: I bless everything that happened today and everyone with whom I came in contact. I am grateful for all the Good I see in my life and for the Good that is yet to be. As I turn over, I always feel complete and clear of the happenings of the day, and just naturally drift into a peaceful sleep.
As we learn to focus on positive thoughts and to live with an attitude of gratitude, this raises our energy vibration, which also elevates the consciousness of humanity. Since our government mirrors our level of awareness, we will also be helping our country return to a state of harmony and balance, and this is another blessed gift for which we can be exceedingly grateful.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2009 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.
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