Staying Connected with Our Center Is an Ongoing Challenge

Over the past several months, I have been putting the finishing touches on my latest manuscript, “Becoming a Spiritual Warrior of the Heart.” Rest assured that the emphasis is on the word becoming, as I am definitely a work in progress and still face challenges as does everyone who is on a similar path.

For example, when I reached a point in the cover design where technical decisions needed to be made that exceeded my area of expertise; I allowed myself to lose focus on the project and became stressed. Instead of simply asking for help, I slipped into an old life pattern of feeling less-than because I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

As a "work in progress,” I’m not ashamed to admit that this is not the first opportunity I’ve had to release another layer of this life issue. Basically, it equates to the fact that this particular invalid belief is still in my subconscious, and pops up from time to time. When it does, I start beating myself up because I don't know all the answers. I am also not embarrassed to say that it took several sleepless nights, a headache and a digestive upset before it got my full attention.

During this time, I woke up one morning after a restless night, contemplating whether I should sleep in, or do the in-bed exercises for my back that were recommended by my therapist and then get up. I knew I should do the exercises to help regain control of my mental and emotional state to protect my physical well-being – and part of me really wanted to, but I remained immobile.

But then a song wafted into my consciousness. Not just any song, but one that had been a favorite since hearing it years ago in the movie “Oklahoma.” The song was “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning.” I started singing it, actually belting it out with all the feeling I could muster.

The positive energy in the lyrics, as well as my inner desire to return to the balanced, peaceful state I experience when I am connected to my inner guidance-God, brought me back to center. From this place of clarity, I was then able to resume my healthy daily routine and to ask for help in understanding the high-tech decisions required and thus resolving the issues.

I realized once again that facing and growing through another layer of this life pattern released more of the energy I apparently still hold around the invalid belief that I am less-than simply because I don’t know everything about everything. When I am connected to my center-higher intelligence-God I am fully aware that it isn’t necessary or possible to know everything about life or anything else.

The ongoing challenge on the path to free us to live as the true powerful spiritual beings we are is to be able to work through the “opportunities” while maintaining our center. I have learned through many such experiences that the ultimate goal is to make the connection with our inner guidance-God so strong and stable that no matter what situations arise, we can work through them with ease and equanimity.

In this recent instance, I was able to reclaim my natural connection with God by pouring my heart’s desire into the words of the song and embodying them as my truth. During ordinary times, I rely on meditation and positive affirmations to heighten my connection with the sanctuary of unconditional love, peace, joy and guidance that is within every human being. Here is one of my favorite affirmations, which I repeat daily with heartfelt acceptance, emotion, faith and gratitude: Something wonderful is happening in my life and affairs right now. I sense it. I feel it. I know it! I accept it! And so it is! Thank you, God. Thank you, Life.
_______________________________
Copyright © 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Living Life On Purpose

Like some other fortunate individuals, I sensed at a very young age that there was a purpose to humans existing on Earth. Somehow I just knew it. Naturally, I wondered what my own mission would be. At that time, I was entranced with Saturday afternoon matinees at the local movie theater, which featured either an “oater” (a Western) or an adventure like Sky King. I was deeply touched by the theme of the movies, which promoted the prevailing values of the time: truth, justice and the American Way. I decided to try to live this quality of life, hoping that whatever I was meant to be or do would be equally commendable.

Then “life” happened and the subliminal urging to seek my soul work dimmed in the face of a flurry of other concerns.

Many years would pass before I was once again moved to follow the concept of fulfilling a life purpose. When I did, I wondered if I was already living it just by being alive and being me. After all, no one else on Earth could do that. Part of me really hoped this was so – as there were fewer years before me than behind me. If there was something more I was born to know, do or become, then I needed to get on with it as soon as possible.

By this time, I was aware that finding and living our life purpose is a lifelong learning process. I had no illusions that my path would include some heroic deed that would play out like those I'd watched on the “silver screen.” Nor did I truly desire that. What I sought was far more essential and private. I just wanted to discover and live a meaningful life, no matter what that might mean.

Since we don’t receive a manual at birth as to how life on Earth works or what our sacred contribution is to be, it is necessary to turn within to discover our true North, our life mission. When I did this more than a decade ago, I learned that daily meditation was a key to attaining, maintaining and strengthening a connection with the higher intelligence-guidance-unconditional love-God that resides within each of us. Once we decide to seek our life’s purpose, and are in cooperation with that inner guidance, we are led into the process of discovering, embodying and living our true destiny.

In my case, I have been a writer all my life, but never thought the writing I did to make a living would be part of my inborn life goal. It was just my “day job.” Yet, there turned out to be a world of difference between the writing I did for clients or employers and that which I was led to do as an integral part of my life’s purpose. I discovered that in sharing my spiritual journey with others through writing, I was filled with a great energy, an unwavering commitment and a joy and passion I had never experienced before. I knew then that I’d found my life mission and that I was now living “on purpose.”

For the past decade, I have been led to share through the gift of writing what I am living and learning to help others and inspire them to begin their own inner journey. This is especially important today, as we are all needed to help each other and the world through this time of tumult and transformational change. Throughout the ages, spiritual visionaries and sages have known that even a small number of people can have a disproportionate impact for good in the world. To do this we must each turn within to discover and live what we were born to be.

The natural soul urging that I experienced many years ago is inherent within each of us. When we awaken to it, we are called to further what is positive and good in the universe. This is the impulse that activates humanity to ever higher aspirations, and is the source of the wellspring of hope we hold in our hearts.

I assure you that whatever your soul purpose is, you can absolutely discover it, and it is absolutely do-able. I can also promise you that no accomplishment in the external world can touch the sense of fulfillment and peace you experience when you begin living your life “on purpose.”
____________________________
Copyright 2011 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The True Path to Happy Holidays Comes From Within

Several weeks ago at a local church, the minister announced holiday events for those who have no family or who choose not to be with the family they do have during the holidays. While this brought an amused reaction from the congregation, it is common knowledge that in today’s world many people experience sorrow over broken family relationships.

I understand that kind of sadness. I realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday.

Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.

There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.

However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.

This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives.

This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.

What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
____________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch [The author is on holiday. This is one of her most popular seasonal essays.]

The author’s books, THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY— How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within; Tea with Elisabeth, and You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World, are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

It Takes More than New Year's Resolutions to Change Your Life

Like millions of others, I made New Year’s resolutions in the past, and then failed to fulfill them. This annual ritual became an exercise in how to beat myself up for my failures.

Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life over three decades ago.

It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.

I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.

The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.

If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.

The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.

While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our life, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.

Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.

Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. Say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
______________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

When You Don't Feel Good ... You Realize Mind Over Matter Really Matters

Because I chose a decade ago to commit to a spiritual path, I also chose to grow through life and learn the lessons presented to me, instead of just going through it. So, it isn’t unusual for me to look at challenges – after an initial (not so uplifted) human response – as continuing opportunities to meet deeper layers of life issues to learn how to create a healthier and happier life. Yet, as I said I am human.

And I was recently pulled up short when I realized that for several months I had ignored the fact that I was mentally conflicted about some decisions that needed to be made regarding the cover of my latest book. By the time I slowed my pace enough to realize there were also emotional and spiritual issues tied to these decisions, I was already manifesting the resulting imbalance in my physical body as a full-blown sinus infection.

I know that illness is a message from our souls indicating we need to change our limiting thoughts and beliefs. Yet as human beings we often get so caught up in the demands, desires and dramas of life that we forget, and fail to stop and remedy our situation before an illness announces the imbalance.

Since becoming more conscious and aware is my life goal, I am always interested in any information that supports me in creating a more balanced, healthier life.

Several months ago I read an excerpt from a book titled “From Cancer to Power,” by Judy Mattivi Morley, in the Science of Mind Magazine. The brief account of her courageous and victorious journey was filled with worthwhile ideas.

All but one of the steps she shared was already part of my healthy routine, including: Coming to peace with whatever condition, event or situation is the challenge, and thus being able to forgive self and others and become free to switch our focus from “what isn’t working to things that are.” This allows us to change our thinking from negative to positive, which opens us to accepting what is. Once we can accept what is, we can take responsibility for our experience and move beyond it by controlling our responses to the events of our lives. Using the power of the mind to follow these steps and begin thinking positively will have a direct effect on the outcome we desire.

The one step that I was aware of but had given only passing attention to was Morley’s recommendation concerning identifying the benefits we receive from whatever experience we are having, no matter how negative it may seem. In this instance, the idea stayed in my consciousness, which to me meant it was time to take it more seriously. Once I put my mind to pondering what if any rewards I could possibly be reaping from this bout of sinusitis, I soon recognized three obvious ones.

First, it was another opportunity to learn what happens when I get so caught up with external issues that I fail to take responsibility for maintaining my health. Second, I realized that by allowing the mental and emotional unrest to drag on, instead of using good sense and stopping and resolving it, I allowed it to drain my energy and compromise my immune system. And third, the ailment necessitated taking time to care for my body, and in the process to realize a deeper insight into how to create a healthier, and thus happier life.

Once we accept the fact that it is possible to use the power of our minds to heal our bodies and our lives, only one step remains, and it’s optional – we must take in the information, make it part of our lives and use it. When our “human-ness” gets us off track in any condition, event or situation, we sometimes need a reminder that
mind over matter really matters.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Living by Choice Instead of by Default

Did you know that when there is a choice to make, and we don’t make it, that is also a choice? For many of us the fact that we had any choices in life was never really obvious to us. By the time we looked up, life had already happened to us and it seemed the only option possible was to make the best of it.

At some point in time, we may have wondered why our lives didn’t turn out more like the classic love-redeems-all movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” in which the main character also experiences unfortunate life events but emerges the most beloved man in town. When that thought arises and there doesn’t seem to be any hope for reversing our negative cycle, we feel helpless. Many people in this situation are resigned to just “putting in their time,” as they believe the light at the end of the tunnel for them is a knowing that at some point it will all be over.

It doesn’t have to be that way. There is another choice, and when we choose to follow it at any time in our lives, it opens up the opportunity to consciously move out of the victim role, which is living by default, and deliberately creating fulfilling, meaningful and joyous lives. The original concept for doing this has been known for centuries, and now more and more people are becoming aware of the fact that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives.

What most people aren’t aware of, however, is the parameters that must be met in order to be successful in this process. For example, our desires need to resonate with truth at the core of our being. We must love ourselves enough to allow good into our lives. And we need to know our beliefs and priorities so that we will have a standard by which to measure our progress, as well as to make decisions easier, which helps us stay on track.

I know that may sound complicated, but before you make the choice to give up without giving it a chance, here is the good news. The true secret lies in making one simple choice. That choice will lift us out of being a victim, living by default, and give us the ability to realize the lives we truly desire. That “choice” is to go within and learn what we need to know about ourselves so that we can change our lives.

For those who may resist taking the inner journey, I offer the following: For a number of years I mistakenly believed that everything in life of any note was generated by activity in the external world. I certainly didn’t think I needed to spend time contemplating my navel. But I have known for a long time now that the opposite is true. Life is meant to work from the inside of us out.

I also resisted looking within because I was afraid of what I would find. What I discovered, to my great relief and pleasant surprise, was a sanctuary of unconditional love, support and wisdom that is within everyone and everything in the universe. I also learned that when we consciously align with this energy-intelligence-love, it automatically says yes to our conscious choices and actively assists in manifesting them in our life experience.

In choosing to live from the love, peace, happiness and trust in life that resides within us, we will naturally be drawn to choosing and expressing a more loving, harmonious and balanced state of being. As we become more positive and accepting of our good, this opens a path for all the health, abundance and goodness we consciously choose, and can accept, to be available to us. We are no longer living by default, but by choice.

We are now and always have been the point of power in our lives. At any moment we can choose to reclaim our power and begin to choose the lives we desire for ourselves and our loved ones. The only question is: Do we continue playing the role of victim and allowing life to happen to us by drifting into default? Or do we choose to step up and own the fact that we are the central character, the star, of our own lives? We are also the producer, director, scriptwriter and casting director. We are always free to create a comedy, a drama, a tragedy, a series of unfortunate events or a wonderful life. The choice is ours.
___________________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch ▪ One of the author’s most requested essays.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

On Becoming a Human-Being Instead of a Human-Doing

It wasn’t until my late husband became critically ill and I left the corporate world a decade ago to care for him that I became aware that for most of my life I had been a human-doing instead of a human-being.

The realization didn’t come quickly. For a long time I was so overwhelmed by all the challenges before me that I threw myself into activities that consumed the hours and days of my life. Evidently the strong work ethic I learned from my birth-family translated into feeling worthy only when I was fully engaged in doing something. The busyness also served to keep me from ever questioning how I was living my life, if it was working for me—and if not, why not?

When my husband’s health challenges became so serious that he had to be placed in a 24-hour care environment, the situation changed dramatically. I had released a number of external commitments in order to care for him, and for the first time in my adult life I found myself relatively free. The freedom proved unsettling. Not only did I desperately need to come to grips with the emotional situation with my husband, I needed to come to peace with what all of this would mean to my future life. After trying unsuccessfully to resolve the situation on my own through my usual direct-action efforts, I realized I didn’t know what to do. I felt helpless.

The time had come when I had to stop all the doing and turn within for answers. I was faced with the biggest challenge to my own peace of mind and sense of well- being—me. Or more accurately, the sum total of mental and emotional baggage that lived within me and that had determined my actions, inactions, thoughts, decisions and non-decisions my entire life.

I had an established daily routine of meditating, journaling and affirmative prayer, but because the job and then my husband’s situation took priority over my needs, the time I spent within was determined by those demands. Now I could spend as much time as desired.

My well-honed and single-eyed approach did prove beneficial in this instance. After months of this inner focus, I began to feel a sense of peace. For the first time in my life I was content spending time within. The meditation helped to discipline my racing “monkey-mind.” Gradually my mind opened to a deeper awareness of life and awakened me to my self, others and the eternal and sublime energy that is within each of us and everything in the universe, which we call God. I was realizing some balance in my life, which brought greater clarity to my thought processes and a growing ability to manage my emotional state. When I opened to loving myself, I became aware that my ability to love others in an unselfish and healthier way was greatly enhanced.

I discovered that meditation is a path to inner peace, as it enables us to connect with the sanctuary of unconditional love, guidance and support within that is the heart desire of every conscious person on Earth.

In this process I became a human-being instead of a human-doing. I no longer judged my worth or my life by what I do. By learning to live an inner-directed life, rather than seeking meaning outside myself, I know that whatever activity I engage in will be meaningful and purposeful.

There is a new-found peace and contentment at the core of my being, a sustained sense of well-being and happiness—no matter what conditions or situations arise. I am no longer driven to do. I allow myself to be.
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch - This is one of the author's most requested essays.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble, Borders and Inner Visions Bookstore, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

The Simple Joys of Nature's Seasons

In the desert where I live, triple-digit temperatures are finally beginning to drop during the daytime, and this means our fall is almost here. I have been doing some re-potting and planting of flowers in my small patio garden and am once again feeling the joy of being in harmony with nature.

I realize that many people are city dwellers today, and seldom think of the importance of nature in our lives. The tendency is to get caught up in the fast pace of life and forget what it feels like to connect with the Earth, feel the soil in our hands and participate in the natural cycles of life.

Still, I believe that we all share a primal response when we notice that nature is shifting into another seasonal change. It may be the falling leaves and a slight chill in the air, or in some areas the first snowfall, but for that fleeting moment we are reconnected to the Earth and grounded in the truth that we are one with everyone and everything on this planet.

While I have lived in the desert long enough to get used to just two seasons, hot and not so hot, there are definitely some rewards. In addition to giving relatives who live in more frigid zones a difficult time by announcing the balmy shirt-sleeve temperatures we enjoy on some of their coldest days, we can wear the same type of clothing year round.

Even though my family moved to the desert when I was a pre-teen, some of my most cherished memories are of winters in St. Louis, where the climate changes were definitely less subtle. For instance, I remember once as a young child I awakened before anyone else in my family with a heightened sense of excitement. And sure enough when I ran to the window and checked, there was the first snow of the season and it was so brilliantly white that in the light it seemed to be sprinkled with jewels. I also didn’t miss the fact that it looked at least six to eight inches deep.

Without another thought I grabbed my coat and quietly left the house barefoot and in what was surely a state of childhood bliss. There was not another footprint anywhere in sight. I ran to the end of our block one way and then to the other with an intention of being the first person to leave footprints in this magical gift. I believe that in marking the occasion in this way, I was paying homage to the blessedness of this natural event, as well as a child’s way of joyously welcoming another opportunity to have fun.

And fun we did have. When we weren’t in school, there were the special days of going with my older brothers to Lafayette Park and sailing down the hillsides on our sturdy wooden sleds, which they masterfully guided. On regular days, we younger kids satisfied our desire to drain every last bit of joy from the snow by building forts and having day-long snowball fights, interrupted only by the need to go indoors and thaw out and being forced to go to the bathroom, eat or put on dry clothes.

Even the adults seemed to appreciate the beauty of the local park, which became a snow-covered wonderland. The picture-postcard images of stately bare trees dressed in arctic-blue ice and outlined against the grey-blue skies were ethereally beautiful.

What great and treasured memories. Yet, as I look around my neighborhood today, there are mostly desert-friendly trees such as paloverde, olive, oleander, mesquite and greasewood. The sun is shining brilliantly, it is a balmy 75 degrees, and flowers are blooming all over the neighborhood, including bright-red geraniums on my back patio. And there will be no shoveling of anything, except maybe a little dirt. Life is good when we are in harmony with nature, no matter the reason or the season, or even the climate zone we call home.
______________________________
Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch - This is one of the author's most requested columns.

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Are Do-Gooders Always Doing "Good"?

I have a dear friend who is placed on a pedestal by almost everyone who knows her because she always puts everyone else’s needs before her own. She never says no, regardless of what is asked of her, or what hardship or inconvenience it might make for her. She is called angelic, blessed, caring, gentle, kind and unbelievably thoughtful.

You may have guessed that I am one of the few who would like to see “Mary” break out of that mold and take care of more of her own needs in order to keep the giving and receiving in balance. You may also have guessed that one of my own life lessons was learning the difference between performing healthy acts of loving kindness and setting myself up to become a martyr, which most often results in becoming a victim.

I believe that at this stage of Mary’s life she doesn’t recognize that she has needs or desires, or that by abdicating her power and being hooked into others’ expectations she is living someone else’s life, instead of her own.

There’s also a possibility that in another lifetime she was the opposite of all of those glowing adjectives now bestowed upon her and is seeking to balance the scale this time around. If that is true, she will ultimately learn that following either giving or receiving to the extreme will eventually prove detrimental to her physical, mental, emotional, spiritual balance and well-being.

If we can’t accept our self-worth, we sometimes compensate for this lack by spending our lives becoming “do-gooders” or “super do-gooders” like Mary, in an effort to prove to everyone else the inborn worthiness in us that we cannot accept for ourselves.

Unless we wake up, we will find ourselves stuck in situations and relationships that are out of alignment with our soul and our true selves. It often takes a dramatic illness or other life event to shake us up and allow us to realize there is a more balanced way to live that brings us peace and contentment, which is every human being’s heart desire and birthright.

When we turn within to that part of us where unconditional love resides, God, we open to an inner knowing that naturally guides us to balanced giving and receiving. Since both are equally sacred, we must be sure that any giving begins with giving to ourselves. For if our reservoir of self-love is low or in a negative position from too much giving and little or no receiving, then what we do give to others or a cause doesn’t pack enough energy, power or punch to have the desired positive effect. In fact the result may prove to be negative or at most ineffective as a result of this imbalance.

In today’s world, most of us realize that for our lives to truly work well, we must start with the basics. We must know who we are – powerful spiritual beings having a human experience – and also know our true heart’s desires. Once we resonate with this core information, then we align our thoughts and actions to focus on and support these aspirations until they manifest in our lives.

We all know that being human means that Life Happens and we need to be prepared for any roller-coaster times. Whenever I start to feel less-than, experience some new ailment, or that I’m rowing upstream, or wonder if I’m actually from another planet, I know I’ve been neglecting being good to me. It’s obviously time to get back to basics. And one of the key elements is to be sure that when I’m making up a To-Do List of Acts of Loving Kindness, I place my own name at the top.
________________________________
Copyright 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World” and “The Heart Knows the Way – How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within” are available at Amazon.com, other online booksellers, bookstore chains, such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.

Technology Is Good ... But It's Not God

Some friends recently spent an evening touting technology as the answer to changing the now-pandemic cultural decline that faces our world. Considering the fact that greed and selfishness, dishonesty and a lack of integrity, even simple civility, as well as truly caring for others and the Earth are the norm – that’s a big order. Since their premise was that the Internet, computers, cell phones and iPads would and are in the process of creating this cultural evolution right now, I listened intently for any examples of this positive trend. There weren’t any.

While I fully support expanded communication that empowers individual self-expression, I can’t help but recall that every time a new technology reared its head, it was heralded as a breakthrough for civilization. This happened whether the innovation was airplanes, space travel or iPods, but so far, the hoped-for promise of the accompanying uplifting of the conscious awareness of humanity hasn’t happened.

We need to understand that technology is merely a tool, and whether the results of its use are desired or undesired lies ultimately in the hearts and minds of human beings. For example, the laser can be employed as a miraculous healing tool or as a weapon. And, without humanity’s continuing aspiration to ever-increasing standards of ethics, morals and values, the “tools” and advances of technology will remain the property of corporate and government hearts and minds, which mean that they are motivated primarily by greed. The only question they ask is “Can we do this?” instead of “Should we do this?”

Scientific advances will continue to occur, and this is good. The challenge lies in the fact that we’ve made the acts of scientific and technological advances the priority rather than focusing on increasing the conscious awareness of human beings. What we must start seriously considering is how we can influence the outcomes of technology for the greatest ethical benefits of humanity as a whole.

When more and more individuals recognize that we have the power within us through our thoughts and words to heal our lives and to help change the world, our influence will affect the course of technology for the good of mankind. There is hope for a new world of consciousness emerging, but it won’t happen to us it must happen through us.

The concept of each of us being responsible for our own soul growth, as well as helping heal the world may not be as attractive as hoping and praying that science will save us in one giant technological leap, but the fact is that this do-it-yourself transformation is the only real solution. No matter how far we can travel into the cosmos, or how many advances science can pull out of manipulating matter, the underlying condition of humanity will not improve until we grow up and take responsibility for our lives, each other and our planet.
___________________________________
Copyright 2010 © by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.