Several times each day I hear the honking of dozens of geese as they make their way over my home to one of the nearby lakes. When they are directly over my house, it means they are making the final descent in their flight pattern and the sound reaches a crescendo. I pause in whatever I am doing and smile inwardly. For a fleeting moment I am once again connected with nature, and it touches me at the core of my being.
I recall the carefree days of my early life when my family lived in a rural area in Missouri. I spent my days playing alone in the magical and pristine woods and streams that surrounded our home.
In this Eden-like playground, there were natural springs that bubbled up pure water from underground streams, a paw-paw patch laden with exotic fruit, and giant trees that reached to the sky and sent Tarzan-quality vines down to the ground. I lived a rich fantasy life there. Even though I was only five-years old, I was master of this domain and invincible. I was a fairy princess, a mighty hunter or Nyoka, the Jungle Queen. I could swing through the air like a bird and land in the soft embrace of the paw-paw patch.
As I matured, I developed allergies that caused me to be so wary of nature that for a long time I avoided it as much as possible. This wasn’t difficult because by then we lived in St. Louis, and everyone else seemed to be doing the same thing. Unless you really desired it, there was no reason to have much to do with grass, trees and burbling streams.
When my children and grandchildren were born, my love of nature reawakened. I took great pleasure in making sure my children had a tree house, and was delighted that they immediately began playing the same age-old game of watching clouds changing shape. We took nature walks and connected with the bounty of the Earth by caring for and harvesting the fruit from the fig, peach, plum and citrus trees in our large back yard. Then, as my grandmother would say, “We put them up,” which meant we used glass Ball jars to hold the jams and jellies we made.
I was also delighted to help my grandchildren experience nature up close and personal. The three younger ones still go for walks with me by the golf course lake near my house. We stand motionless to watch the rabbits cavort on the green grass, look for bugs to put in their Sucret’s tins and watch the various types of waterfowl take off and come in for landings on the water.
I remember walking around the golf course with them after a big rain, and one section of the walkway was under about three inches of water. They wanted to turn back. But I insisted they take off their tennis shoes and socks and walk barefoot with me through the water.
They had never done anything like that before. I will never forget the look of joy on their faces then—or the time the summer heat turned our faces beet-red and we ran fully clothed through the golf course sprinklers to cool off.
Now that society as a whole is so far removed from nature, I have a much deeper concern for the Earth. When we are not conscious of nature, we don’t care about what happens to it. We don’t realize how vital it is to our lives or how we need to protect it and to learn from it instead of trying to control it.
I remember what a wonderful wise woman shared with me a few years ago when I mentioned the geese that fly over my house. She said that the geese select one of the weakest members of the flock as a leader so that the slower ones can keep up. The honking noise is the way in which the members spur on the one that leads the V-formation. She also said that when one of them becomes ill and has to find a place to land, two others accompany the ailing bird until it is once again able to rejoin the formation, or it dies.
That is far more humane and caring than the behavior of many human beings—we have much to learn from nature. I pray we take the time to do so.
_________________________________
Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
[To view the author’s information on how to change your life and connect with the divine spirit within, go to www.FernStewartWelch.com.]
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
How to Change Your Life ... and Help the World!
The Mayan calendar ends December 21, 2012, a date that some view with fear – much like what occurred just before the end of the millennium – while others look forward to it with jubilation. Predictions of what this event could mean to humanity range from the usual cataclysmic end-of-time to it heralding a major energy shift that will usher in a golden age of love and peace on Earth.
I recall that nothing of major note actually happened when our Gregorian calendar switched over on January 1, 2000, and am fairly certain that this new tempest is similarly unwarranted.
Most of us recognize that if we want to live better lives and help change the direction in which the world is headed, it is time to make some serious changes. Many of us already know how to create what we don’t want in our lives and in the world. Now is the perfect time to learn how to create what we do desire.
However, before attempting to make positive changes in our lives, we need to decide where we are right now, what we want in our future and whether we are willing to make necessary changes in order to be successful.
Part of the self-discovery phase is to identify and be certain that our desires resonate with the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our being. When we have done this, it is similar to a board of directors that has voted unanimously to follow a course of action. This single-minded focus is not only powerful, it is a prerequisite to achieving our heart desires.
We must also understand how the universe works. We place our “order,” and what we receive back is determined by the innermost-subconscious thoughts and feelings we hold around whatever specific issues we are concerned about. If our thoughts are negative, we receive negative results.
No matter how much willpower we exert trying to force the results we desire into becoming a reality, we eventually tire and give up because of deep-seated thoughts and beliefs. Without this awareness, we will find ourselves constantly sabotaging our efforts. No matter what we are seeking, whether it is health, wealth, loving relationships or the body we desire, the result will be the same: failure.
The reality is that unless we love ourselves just where we are right now, we will not be successful. We must learn to change negative thoughts about our lives and our bodies and replace them with positive thoughts and feelings. Otherwise, the universe will continue to use information that reflects what we really feel at a subconscious level and keep sending us the same old results.
It is tempting to think that if we come to peace with our lives as they are, instead of what we desire, we will become complacent and get stuck there. This isn’t true. There is a divine energy striving to express itself through us, and it is continually spurring us on to be more and to fulfill our full human potential.
Even if we have chosen a specific body or certain life circumstances from which to learn lessons, by resolving to make positive changes in order to achieve our desired life, we will know what to do. We will be led to learn the lessons, solve the challenges we face and come to a peaceful resolution. Then we will finally be able to stop beating ourselves up over the situation and move forward to create the life we truly desire.
Once we take control and begin to transform our lives, we see that our actions positively affects others as well as what happens in the future. Then we know that the power doesn’t lie in some external non-event like the ending of the Mayan calendar—it lies within us.
________________________________
Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
[Read the author’s articles on how to successfully change your life, and how to connect with the energy-intelligence within at: www.FernStewartWelch.com
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
I recall that nothing of major note actually happened when our Gregorian calendar switched over on January 1, 2000, and am fairly certain that this new tempest is similarly unwarranted.
Most of us recognize that if we want to live better lives and help change the direction in which the world is headed, it is time to make some serious changes. Many of us already know how to create what we don’t want in our lives and in the world. Now is the perfect time to learn how to create what we do desire.
However, before attempting to make positive changes in our lives, we need to decide where we are right now, what we want in our future and whether we are willing to make necessary changes in order to be successful.
Part of the self-discovery phase is to identify and be certain that our desires resonate with the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our being. When we have done this, it is similar to a board of directors that has voted unanimously to follow a course of action. This single-minded focus is not only powerful, it is a prerequisite to achieving our heart desires.
We must also understand how the universe works. We place our “order,” and what we receive back is determined by the innermost-subconscious thoughts and feelings we hold around whatever specific issues we are concerned about. If our thoughts are negative, we receive negative results.
No matter how much willpower we exert trying to force the results we desire into becoming a reality, we eventually tire and give up because of deep-seated thoughts and beliefs. Without this awareness, we will find ourselves constantly sabotaging our efforts. No matter what we are seeking, whether it is health, wealth, loving relationships or the body we desire, the result will be the same: failure.
The reality is that unless we love ourselves just where we are right now, we will not be successful. We must learn to change negative thoughts about our lives and our bodies and replace them with positive thoughts and feelings. Otherwise, the universe will continue to use information that reflects what we really feel at a subconscious level and keep sending us the same old results.
It is tempting to think that if we come to peace with our lives as they are, instead of what we desire, we will become complacent and get stuck there. This isn’t true. There is a divine energy striving to express itself through us, and it is continually spurring us on to be more and to fulfill our full human potential.
Even if we have chosen a specific body or certain life circumstances from which to learn lessons, by resolving to make positive changes in order to achieve our desired life, we will know what to do. We will be led to learn the lessons, solve the challenges we face and come to a peaceful resolution. Then we will finally be able to stop beating ourselves up over the situation and move forward to create the life we truly desire.
Once we take control and begin to transform our lives, we see that our actions positively affects others as well as what happens in the future. Then we know that the power doesn’t lie in some external non-event like the ending of the Mayan calendar—it lies within us.
________________________________
Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
[Read the author’s articles on how to successfully change your life, and how to connect with the energy-intelligence within at: www.FernStewartWelch.com
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Helping Children Realize Their Full Human Potential
During the past holiday season, my six-year old grandson spent the day with me. As a treat I let him open an early present. He took one disappointed look at it, tossed it aside and said, “I didn’t want that.”
I wasn’t disappointed or disturbed by his reaction, as I realized fully that at his age he hasn’t learned to harness his feelings and monitor his words according to the customs of our culture. I also appreciate the fact that one of the precious attributes of young children – which we all secretly enjoy and often envy – is that they speak their truth.
The situation caused me to think back to the number of times that my own and other people’s children demonstrated similar reactions. As “good” parents, we all responded in the same way. We focused on not allowing Aunt Martha’s feelings to be hurt and thoroughly chastised the child until s/he apologized. This usually resulted in either the child being reduced to tears, or becoming angry and defensive.
We were totally unaware of how that experience might affect the child. We didn’t know that the way in which we helped our children become socialized – whether it was a positive or negative experience for them – would affect all future interactions with others throughout their lives, as well as the chance to realize their full human potential.
While we’ve always known that it isn’t desirable for children to indiscriminately say hurtful things to others, now we realize the equal importance of teaching this in a way that honors the feelings of the child and Aunt Martha.
I also believe that focusing on Aunt Martha and publicly humiliating a child is a negative experience on more than one level. It teaches a child that our true feelings are wrong, and in order to be acceptable and loved by others we have to repress and deny them. Feelings are an important part of us and to deny or suppress them ignores a very valuable aspect of what it is to be human.
Since we live in such a highly commercialized gift-giving environment, and children experience this at an early age, it is a natural opportunity to teach a more enlightened and conscious approach to giving and receiving.
We need to realize as mature adults that every gift we give will not be the person’s heart desire. Yet, we can hope that after thinking about the person – shopping, purchasing, wrapping and presenting the present with genuine affection and caring – all of this will be considered by the recipient as part of the gift itself.
A wise and caring response for recipients would be to focus more on the giver than the gift. It then becomes possible to recognize the person’s action and to truthfully respond in a way that honors the giver and the recipient. This can be role-modeled by parents and gently and lovingly taught to children.
The children of today and tomorrow will be eager to express their full human potential and to live mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually satisfying lives. It is our responsibility to be sure they have a positive foundation and the clear guidelines to be successful. This also makes the world a better place.
As a postscript, not only was my young grandson open to hearing about a more loving way to respond to a gift, he was able to retain his sense of self-worth and joyous disposition. As his parents came to pick him up, he turned to me and said, “Mimi, of all the old people I know, you are my favorite.”
________________________________
Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
I wasn’t disappointed or disturbed by his reaction, as I realized fully that at his age he hasn’t learned to harness his feelings and monitor his words according to the customs of our culture. I also appreciate the fact that one of the precious attributes of young children – which we all secretly enjoy and often envy – is that they speak their truth.
The situation caused me to think back to the number of times that my own and other people’s children demonstrated similar reactions. As “good” parents, we all responded in the same way. We focused on not allowing Aunt Martha’s feelings to be hurt and thoroughly chastised the child until s/he apologized. This usually resulted in either the child being reduced to tears, or becoming angry and defensive.
We were totally unaware of how that experience might affect the child. We didn’t know that the way in which we helped our children become socialized – whether it was a positive or negative experience for them – would affect all future interactions with others throughout their lives, as well as the chance to realize their full human potential.
While we’ve always known that it isn’t desirable for children to indiscriminately say hurtful things to others, now we realize the equal importance of teaching this in a way that honors the feelings of the child and Aunt Martha.
I also believe that focusing on Aunt Martha and publicly humiliating a child is a negative experience on more than one level. It teaches a child that our true feelings are wrong, and in order to be acceptable and loved by others we have to repress and deny them. Feelings are an important part of us and to deny or suppress them ignores a very valuable aspect of what it is to be human.
Since we live in such a highly commercialized gift-giving environment, and children experience this at an early age, it is a natural opportunity to teach a more enlightened and conscious approach to giving and receiving.
We need to realize as mature adults that every gift we give will not be the person’s heart desire. Yet, we can hope that after thinking about the person – shopping, purchasing, wrapping and presenting the present with genuine affection and caring – all of this will be considered by the recipient as part of the gift itself.
A wise and caring response for recipients would be to focus more on the giver than the gift. It then becomes possible to recognize the person’s action and to truthfully respond in a way that honors the giver and the recipient. This can be role-modeled by parents and gently and lovingly taught to children.
The children of today and tomorrow will be eager to express their full human potential and to live mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually satisfying lives. It is our responsibility to be sure they have a positive foundation and the clear guidelines to be successful. This also makes the world a better place.
As a postscript, not only was my young grandson open to hearing about a more loving way to respond to a gift, he was able to retain his sense of self-worth and joyous disposition. As his parents came to pick him up, he turned to me and said, “Mimi, of all the old people I know, you are my favorite.”
________________________________
Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, January 7, 2008
If You Don't Feel Connected to Your Good ... Guess Who Moved!
Several weeks before Thanksgiving, I attended a local premiere of bestselling author Louise Hay’s new movie “You Can Heal Your Life.” Her flagship book of the same name came out in 1976 and sold thirty-five million copies worldwide. I was one of the millions who resonated with the concepts in her groundbreaking work.
She was one of the first to recognize the body-mind connection in healing and provided specific techniques to heal emotional and physical problems by clearing the thoughts and feelings we hold around them. She also taught that we could change our lives for the better by changing our thoughts.
This powerful information came into my life at a time when my whole world had been turned upside down by the breakup of my first marriage. I embraced these life-changing ideas with the fervor of a drowning person seeking air, and set in motion an incredible journey within that continues to bless every area of my life with good.
In my lengthy experience with this philosophy, I have learned some valuable lessons and gained insights that will help others on their journeys. For example, no matter how long or how faithfully we work on changing our thoughts and changing our lives, we will have times when we backslide into old habits of negative thinking and acting.
Some of this is because it is challenging to practice an enlightened and positive approach to life that is contrary to what is common in our culture, but it is also because we are human. And as long as we are alive, we will face situations that threaten our resolve to elevate our conscious awareness and act from a loving, balanced sense of self. When these situations come up, we can learn to bless them for what they truly are – an opportunity to clear out invalid thoughts and life patterns, to learn additional lessons – and continue to grow in conscious awareness. A good question to ask at such times: What is the positive lesson I am to learn from this?
I became aware years ago that holiday seasons were a vulnerable time for me, as that was when my resolve tended to dip. I soon learned that by paying attention to the uneasiness within, I could stop and take action to recover my inner balance. Now I take control and get back to basics and re-commit to the principles I learned decades ago. The opportunity to see the Louise Hay movie was perfect timing, as it provided the booster shot I needed to shore up any weakened resolve that surfaced this past season. I also repeated the following affirmations many times daily: I choose love. I choose peace. I choose harmony and balance.
The more we seek to live from the best that is within us, the easier it is to recognize the uncomfortable feeling that comes up when we revert to undesirable habits. This message lets us know that we are out of harmony with the core of our being. If we don’t act to reverse the situation, we begin to feel disconnected from ourselves, others and all life. Fears begin to come up and we start to doubt our self-worth and once again we feel like a victim, helpless and alone. We may be tempted to give in to the negative thoughts and to once again roll around in the fear-based compulsion of blaming and judging others.
There are as many ways as there are people to tap into the energy-connection that is within us – which we call God – as well as to get back on track when we feel disconnected. It is our responsibility to discover what works for us. The good news is that when the feeling of separation arises again, which it will, you will recognize it more quickly and it will take less time to learn any lesson and to regain your equilibrium.
The fact is that the sanctuary within has always been available to us. It is the answer to the heart desire of every human being – unconditional love and acceptance, a deep sense of joy, peace and contentment – and a connection with all life. It is just waiting for our conscious awareness to activate a choice to either move toward it or to ignore it and move away. And as one of my wise spiritual teachers once said: If you feel separate from your Good-God—guess who moved.
[To view the author’s feature article “How to Have a Personal Connection with God,” and the convenient 10-point list, go to http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/ and click on How-to-Lists at the top of the page, then click on Connect with God.]
__________________________________
Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
She was one of the first to recognize the body-mind connection in healing and provided specific techniques to heal emotional and physical problems by clearing the thoughts and feelings we hold around them. She also taught that we could change our lives for the better by changing our thoughts.
This powerful information came into my life at a time when my whole world had been turned upside down by the breakup of my first marriage. I embraced these life-changing ideas with the fervor of a drowning person seeking air, and set in motion an incredible journey within that continues to bless every area of my life with good.
In my lengthy experience with this philosophy, I have learned some valuable lessons and gained insights that will help others on their journeys. For example, no matter how long or how faithfully we work on changing our thoughts and changing our lives, we will have times when we backslide into old habits of negative thinking and acting.
Some of this is because it is challenging to practice an enlightened and positive approach to life that is contrary to what is common in our culture, but it is also because we are human. And as long as we are alive, we will face situations that threaten our resolve to elevate our conscious awareness and act from a loving, balanced sense of self. When these situations come up, we can learn to bless them for what they truly are – an opportunity to clear out invalid thoughts and life patterns, to learn additional lessons – and continue to grow in conscious awareness. A good question to ask at such times: What is the positive lesson I am to learn from this?
I became aware years ago that holiday seasons were a vulnerable time for me, as that was when my resolve tended to dip. I soon learned that by paying attention to the uneasiness within, I could stop and take action to recover my inner balance. Now I take control and get back to basics and re-commit to the principles I learned decades ago. The opportunity to see the Louise Hay movie was perfect timing, as it provided the booster shot I needed to shore up any weakened resolve that surfaced this past season. I also repeated the following affirmations many times daily: I choose love. I choose peace. I choose harmony and balance.
The more we seek to live from the best that is within us, the easier it is to recognize the uncomfortable feeling that comes up when we revert to undesirable habits. This message lets us know that we are out of harmony with the core of our being. If we don’t act to reverse the situation, we begin to feel disconnected from ourselves, others and all life. Fears begin to come up and we start to doubt our self-worth and once again we feel like a victim, helpless and alone. We may be tempted to give in to the negative thoughts and to once again roll around in the fear-based compulsion of blaming and judging others.
There are as many ways as there are people to tap into the energy-connection that is within us – which we call God – as well as to get back on track when we feel disconnected. It is our responsibility to discover what works for us. The good news is that when the feeling of separation arises again, which it will, you will recognize it more quickly and it will take less time to learn any lesson and to regain your equilibrium.
The fact is that the sanctuary within has always been available to us. It is the answer to the heart desire of every human being – unconditional love and acceptance, a deep sense of joy, peace and contentment – and a connection with all life. It is just waiting for our conscious awareness to activate a choice to either move toward it or to ignore it and move away. And as one of my wise spiritual teachers once said: If you feel separate from your Good-God—guess who moved.
[To view the author’s feature article “How to Have a Personal Connection with God,” and the convenient 10-point list, go to http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/ and click on How-to-Lists at the top of the page, then click on Connect with God.]
__________________________________
Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, December 31, 2007
It Takes More than New Year's Resolutions to Change Your Life
Like millions of others, I made New Year’s resolutions in the past, and then failed to fulfill them. This annual ritual became an exercise in how to beat myself up for my failures.
Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life over three decades ago.
It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.
I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.
The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.
If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.
The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.
While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our life, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.
Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.
Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. To maintain your inner resolve, say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
__________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Then I learned the concept of changing your life by changing your thoughts. I fully understood that if what I was experiencing wasn’t desirable, it was equally possible to follow this concept and create a life of happiness and fulfillment. I made this idea part of my life over three decades ago.
It didn’t take me long to realize why we can never be successful by making fervent, but wishful statements about our life challenges. I learned that the problem was in the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold about ourselves, which directly affect such important issues as abundance, health, relationships and success.
I discovered that it was necessary to go within and find out what we really desire in life. I also found that at a deep level most human beings believe they aren’t good enough, deserving or worthy, which effectively blocks their good. To heal those thoughts, say every day as often as possible: I love myself just the way I am, right here, right now. I deserve all the blessings the world has to offer. I am willing to change my negative thoughts and to accept good for myself.
The core beliefs we hold of being unworthy are only thoughts, which create a feeling that binds them to us. If we change the thought, we change that feeling. It doesn’t matter how long we have held negative thoughts or what the thoughts are. We can change the thoughts. Memorize this and say it as often as possible: I love myself, and am willing to change my thoughts. I now allow only positive thoughts about myself.
If we have been hurt in the past, or we hurt someone and are still holding onto the thoughts, we only hurt ourselves. These thoughts have determined the life we have now and will decide the future. We must release these thoughts and be free of the past. The only way to do that is to be willing to forgive not only others but to forgive ourselves. Say this as often as possible and for as long as it takes: I forgive myself for any real or imagined wrong done by me to myself, and to anyone else, past or present. I freely and wholly forgive anyone else for any real or imagined wrong done to me, past or present. I am free, they are free.
The key is to love ourselves so that we can open to accepting what is truly desired into our life. By paying close attention to what we think and say, we become aware of the many times we put ourselves down for the simplest and most inconsequential things. This is a negative habit that keeps us stuck in victim-hood, and assures that our life will continue to be less than desirable. Start today, and repeat often: I am wonderful, lovable, deserving and worthy and I love myself just the way I am.
While it may not be possible to say these affirmations and really mean them at first – if you continue you will – and your life will begin to change. And, while the only one we can ever change is ourselves, when we begin to experience positive changes in our life, it will have an effect on others. Know that whatever our current situation is, we have created it. The good news is that now we can consciously choose the life we desire.
Once we decide what we want, and can love ourselves enough to accept having it, the positive affirmations set a powerful force in motion, and we have only to persevere to be successful. Say every day as often as possible: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am willing to do what it takes to change my thoughts. I give thanks for the good that comes to me now, and affirm that only good goes out from me to the world.
Negative thought patterns often take time to change, so we need to be patient and gentle with ourselves. When we begin to falter or doubt, we must take heart and know that millions of others have taken responsibility for their lives and are proving that when they change their thoughts, their lives change. To maintain your inner resolve, say every day: I never give up and I never give in—and victory will be yours.
__________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, December 24, 2007
The Gift That Only You Can Give Yourself
The more time I spend in and observing nature the more I learn about myself. It recently dawned on me that I have spent my entire life in an effort to learn to relax and be who I am. I discovered this by watching the rabbits and birds that frequent my lush yard. They are totally content with being what they are.
I smile when I think about what it must be like to be a blade of grass, whose only role in life is to grow and be green. In doing so, it fulfills its purpose and enhances the beauty of a yard or field. What a sad and frustrating experience it would be for that blade of grass to spend its lifespan wishing to be a flower, a shrub or a tree. Yet, not being grounded and accepting who we are seems to be part of the human condition, resulting in many of us spending our lives striving to be something that we are not.
It does not have to be and should not be that way. Each of us is important, as no one else can be who I am, or who you are. It is only our wayward minds that confuse and frustrate us and keep us from enjoying the fullness of what it means to be alive in this form here and now.
I believe the most important element in overcoming this tendency is to come to peace within ourselves and accept who we were born to be. Our culture is so focused on the external world that we rarely, if ever, take the time to explore the inner world that is within us.
Many people believe that life is what happens to us externally, and our role is to react to whatever comes our way, but that is not so. The fact is that the point of power is within us and has always been. We need to realize that the way life is supposed to happen is from within out—not the other way around. When we understand this, we become empowered and can determine much of what happens to us in life.
We have the power to stop our fear-based frantic search for answers outside ourselves. Unfortunately, our culture focuses on and requires that we not be in touch with ourselves or with our environment, much to the detriment of both.
Going within and connecting with our inner selves is an absolute necessity. It naturally leads to connecting with that larger part of us that knows we are one with everyone else, with all life, as well as with the Earth itself. At that point, there is no confusion or frustration about who we are or what our purpose is on this planet, as it is simply to be fully and wholly who we were born to be.
Once we make this connection, we will be free of the thoughts that have kept us off-balance and off-purpose and that preclude us from achieving our full human potential. There is great power in this knowing—power that can change our lives and the world. It is the gift that only you can give to you.
__________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
I smile when I think about what it must be like to be a blade of grass, whose only role in life is to grow and be green. In doing so, it fulfills its purpose and enhances the beauty of a yard or field. What a sad and frustrating experience it would be for that blade of grass to spend its lifespan wishing to be a flower, a shrub or a tree. Yet, not being grounded and accepting who we are seems to be part of the human condition, resulting in many of us spending our lives striving to be something that we are not.
It does not have to be and should not be that way. Each of us is important, as no one else can be who I am, or who you are. It is only our wayward minds that confuse and frustrate us and keep us from enjoying the fullness of what it means to be alive in this form here and now.
I believe the most important element in overcoming this tendency is to come to peace within ourselves and accept who we were born to be. Our culture is so focused on the external world that we rarely, if ever, take the time to explore the inner world that is within us.
Many people believe that life is what happens to us externally, and our role is to react to whatever comes our way, but that is not so. The fact is that the point of power is within us and has always been. We need to realize that the way life is supposed to happen is from within out—not the other way around. When we understand this, we become empowered and can determine much of what happens to us in life.
We have the power to stop our fear-based frantic search for answers outside ourselves. Unfortunately, our culture focuses on and requires that we not be in touch with ourselves or with our environment, much to the detriment of both.
Going within and connecting with our inner selves is an absolute necessity. It naturally leads to connecting with that larger part of us that knows we are one with everyone else, with all life, as well as with the Earth itself. At that point, there is no confusion or frustration about who we are or what our purpose is on this planet, as it is simply to be fully and wholly who we were born to be.
Once we make this connection, we will be free of the thoughts that have kept us off-balance and off-purpose and that preclude us from achieving our full human potential. There is great power in this knowing—power that can change our lives and the world. It is the gift that only you can give to you.
__________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Restoring Honesty and Integrity to Our Culture Begins with Us
Most of us know that lying, cheating and dishonesty now permeate every level of our culture. This deterioration in ethics and morality is directly linked to the excesses inherent in materialism, a breeding ground for competition. The prevailing belief seems to be that there isn’t enough of anything for everyone, so you have to lie, cheat and steal to get your share.
There is no area of our society that has escaped the insidious reality of this deep and disturbing erosion of morality. A significant percentage of our political leaders and business managers have accepted the slogan that the end – achieving their desires – justifies the means. This attitude of self-interest has spawned individuals at all levels of our society who no longer feel even a slight twinge of conscience at trampling on the needs and rights of others.
This cultural failing has also yielded large numbers of people who do not keep their promises and do not tell the truth about the simplest and most benign details of their business and personal lives.
A recent experience brought home to me my own role – and my responsibility – in this moral dilemma; it also made it clear that the solution to the problem rests wholly with each one of us.
I discovered that one key individual in a business situation doesn’t always divulge all the material facts. At the time, I had no idea why this young person did this, as it was information that could determine and influence future events. This caused frustration and stress for everyone involved. Since I had chosen decades ago to live as honest and authentic a life as possible, I expected this from others. I also began to distrust the individual.
Since I didn’t feel good about simply writing the person off, I started looking for a deeper understanding. After some soul-searching, I remembered something from the past that gave me some insight. When I started in the corporate world many years ago, I felt small and insignificant in my entry-level job. I discovered that one way to feel more powerful and in control was to hold back bits of information from others. Luckily for me not only was I insignificant at that time but so was the information I withheld. I am grateful to the two wonderful and wise business leaders who mentored me and taught me by example the true and honorable path to self empowerment.
I realized that in condemning this person today, I was also denying a part of me that my ego doesn’t like to acknowledge, as it prefers blaming others instead of looking within for answers. This realization allowed me to forgo the emotion and to seek a more positive solution.
In order to deal fairly with this challenge, I knew I had to act in a way that would create a healthier situation. I chose to exercise my rights and started asking legitimate questions, which were distributed with the answers for all concerned, and simply continued questioning until all the facts were on the table.
While I don’t know whether or not the individual benefited from my choice of action, I do know that not being honest in every area of our lives does more harm to us than it does to others. The value in my own life was incalculable. Not taking any action would have meant that I condoned, allowed and went along with less than honest and transparent business dealings.
Similarly, I believe that the solution to the larger problems in our culture begins by adhering to the highest standards in all our interactions with others – publicly and privately – and to hold to these standards no matter what.
The simple truth is that we do live in an abundant universe that is based on fundamental laws such as like attracts like. We draw to us what we think and live and are ultimately responsible for what comes into our life. When any one of us lies, cheats, steals or allows or condones such actions, it takes away from the good of all. We must each set and abide by ethical and moral standards that will contribute to honesty and integrity in our culture. We need to live this for our children and grandchildren—and for the future of our nation.
__________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
There is no area of our society that has escaped the insidious reality of this deep and disturbing erosion of morality. A significant percentage of our political leaders and business managers have accepted the slogan that the end – achieving their desires – justifies the means. This attitude of self-interest has spawned individuals at all levels of our society who no longer feel even a slight twinge of conscience at trampling on the needs and rights of others.
This cultural failing has also yielded large numbers of people who do not keep their promises and do not tell the truth about the simplest and most benign details of their business and personal lives.
A recent experience brought home to me my own role – and my responsibility – in this moral dilemma; it also made it clear that the solution to the problem rests wholly with each one of us.
I discovered that one key individual in a business situation doesn’t always divulge all the material facts. At the time, I had no idea why this young person did this, as it was information that could determine and influence future events. This caused frustration and stress for everyone involved. Since I had chosen decades ago to live as honest and authentic a life as possible, I expected this from others. I also began to distrust the individual.
Since I didn’t feel good about simply writing the person off, I started looking for a deeper understanding. After some soul-searching, I remembered something from the past that gave me some insight. When I started in the corporate world many years ago, I felt small and insignificant in my entry-level job. I discovered that one way to feel more powerful and in control was to hold back bits of information from others. Luckily for me not only was I insignificant at that time but so was the information I withheld. I am grateful to the two wonderful and wise business leaders who mentored me and taught me by example the true and honorable path to self empowerment.
I realized that in condemning this person today, I was also denying a part of me that my ego doesn’t like to acknowledge, as it prefers blaming others instead of looking within for answers. This realization allowed me to forgo the emotion and to seek a more positive solution.
In order to deal fairly with this challenge, I knew I had to act in a way that would create a healthier situation. I chose to exercise my rights and started asking legitimate questions, which were distributed with the answers for all concerned, and simply continued questioning until all the facts were on the table.
While I don’t know whether or not the individual benefited from my choice of action, I do know that not being honest in every area of our lives does more harm to us than it does to others. The value in my own life was incalculable. Not taking any action would have meant that I condoned, allowed and went along with less than honest and transparent business dealings.
Similarly, I believe that the solution to the larger problems in our culture begins by adhering to the highest standards in all our interactions with others – publicly and privately – and to hold to these standards no matter what.
The simple truth is that we do live in an abundant universe that is based on fundamental laws such as like attracts like. We draw to us what we think and live and are ultimately responsible for what comes into our life. When any one of us lies, cheats, steals or allows or condones such actions, it takes away from the good of all. We must each set and abide by ethical and moral standards that will contribute to honesty and integrity in our culture. We need to live this for our children and grandchildren—and for the future of our nation.
__________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, December 10, 2007
RESPECT ... The Key to a Kinder, More Civilized and Sane Society
We live in an age of disrespect that defines and diminishes our daily lives. Where we once had institutions, professions and family values that were revered, now there is nothing or no one who is beyond ridicule. This has damaged our country to the point that it threatens the core of our society. Crime, drug addiction and depression rates are at all-time highs and rising. Many of our young people are disrespectful of parents, teachers and authority figures. They are disillusioned by our nation’s image in the world, and they don’t believe in or trust their parents, the media, politicians, religion, the legal system or the future.
Experts believe that all behavior problems in otherwise healthy children can be traced back to respect. I agree. The sad news is that the level of respect for one’s self and others that would be necessary to reverse this situation is at an extremely low level in our culture today.
Children learn what they live. Respect begins in the home, and has to be taught and lived by all conscious and aware parents. This is where any long-term resolution has to start. It also needs to be supported in schools, media, churches, businesses and communities across the country. It also needs to be embraced by our national leaders and all public figures who are role models for young people.
I wish I had known when my children were young what I know now. I learned that as a parent, respect is not something we can demand or is automatic; it happens naturally when we have cleaned up our own lives. As we respect ourselves, we automatically respect others.
While there is little we can do to affect the uncivilized behavior of many in our country, we can begin in our own families as parents, grandparents and relatives to focus on teaching respect for honesty, integrity, morality, truth and each other. This was once The American Way.
In order to become respectful adults, children must live in an environment of respect – parent to parent, child to child, parent to child and child to parent. They must be taught that loving and respecting self is the first step in loving and respecting others.
Parenting must be viewed as a sacred responsibility, and parents must be willing to be physically, emotionally and mentally present and available. Parents must teach and live all the desired virtues they wish their children to embrace. They must stop such unhealthy habits as negative sarcasm and name calling between everyone in the household.
There are commonsense and accepted basics that should be part of every child’s early training. They should be taught to respect and honor their bodies and how to healthfully care for them. All children need boundaries and structure as well as consistency in words, actions and decisions. This builds a sense of security and trust they can take into the larger world.
By respecting children’s emotions and teaching them to use words to express their feelings, parents can add immeasurably to a child’s sense of self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. This is vital to their being able to say NO to any number of potentially life-damaging decisions facing young people in America each day.
Children should also be encouraged to go within and nurture their inner life through age-appropriate techniques such as quiet time, daydreaming, being in nature [often], listening to beautiful music and reading uplifting literature, as well as prayer and meditation. As they mature in an environment of respect, they will realize this connection with their inner life is a link with life itself. And this, my friends, is a natural antidote for the isolation and lack of self worth experienced by so many teenagers.
Last but not least, children need to grow up surrounded by friends and extended family who also love and cherish them for who they are. This is the foundation that will allow them to survive and thrive in life.
I call on the grandparents of this nation to support the respectful parenting of children. They are our future. I believe we can make a difference and in the process—change the course of history.
[To view or print – A Parents Pledge: Ten Basic Rules for Teaching and Living Respectful Lives – go to www.FernStewartWelch.com, click on How-to-lists and then Parent’s Pledge.
__________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Experts believe that all behavior problems in otherwise healthy children can be traced back to respect. I agree. The sad news is that the level of respect for one’s self and others that would be necessary to reverse this situation is at an extremely low level in our culture today.
Children learn what they live. Respect begins in the home, and has to be taught and lived by all conscious and aware parents. This is where any long-term resolution has to start. It also needs to be supported in schools, media, churches, businesses and communities across the country. It also needs to be embraced by our national leaders and all public figures who are role models for young people.
I wish I had known when my children were young what I know now. I learned that as a parent, respect is not something we can demand or is automatic; it happens naturally when we have cleaned up our own lives. As we respect ourselves, we automatically respect others.
While there is little we can do to affect the uncivilized behavior of many in our country, we can begin in our own families as parents, grandparents and relatives to focus on teaching respect for honesty, integrity, morality, truth and each other. This was once The American Way.
In order to become respectful adults, children must live in an environment of respect – parent to parent, child to child, parent to child and child to parent. They must be taught that loving and respecting self is the first step in loving and respecting others.
Parenting must be viewed as a sacred responsibility, and parents must be willing to be physically, emotionally and mentally present and available. Parents must teach and live all the desired virtues they wish their children to embrace. They must stop such unhealthy habits as negative sarcasm and name calling between everyone in the household.
There are commonsense and accepted basics that should be part of every child’s early training. They should be taught to respect and honor their bodies and how to healthfully care for them. All children need boundaries and structure as well as consistency in words, actions and decisions. This builds a sense of security and trust they can take into the larger world.
By respecting children’s emotions and teaching them to use words to express their feelings, parents can add immeasurably to a child’s sense of self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. This is vital to their being able to say NO to any number of potentially life-damaging decisions facing young people in America each day.
Children should also be encouraged to go within and nurture their inner life through age-appropriate techniques such as quiet time, daydreaming, being in nature [often], listening to beautiful music and reading uplifting literature, as well as prayer and meditation. As they mature in an environment of respect, they will realize this connection with their inner life is a link with life itself. And this, my friends, is a natural antidote for the isolation and lack of self worth experienced by so many teenagers.
Last but not least, children need to grow up surrounded by friends and extended family who also love and cherish them for who they are. This is the foundation that will allow them to survive and thrive in life.
I call on the grandparents of this nation to support the respectful parenting of children. They are our future. I believe we can make a difference and in the process—change the course of history.
[To view or print – A Parents Pledge: Ten Basic Rules for Teaching and Living Respectful Lives – go to www.FernStewartWelch.com, click on How-to-lists and then Parent’s Pledge.
__________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World
I recently watched a PBS documentary on the cartoonist who created the beloved comic strip characters Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus and Lucy—the late Charles Schulz. The very intimate look into the artist’s life also revealed much about our unbalanced world.
According to the documentary, Schulz, who died in 2000, was so intensely focused on his work that it took over his life and ultimately caused the breakup of his marriage. The documentary revealed that, unlike his public image as the "gentle genius" who had his life together, he was a shy, conflicted and complicated man whose inner issues were echoed in the neurotic attributes of his beloved characters.
When serious illness threatened his life, he asked his closest colleagues: How could this happen to me? What went wrong?
I don’t believe anything went wrong in the universal sense. By denying the fact that the other side of being born is dying, we often fail to live a full and balanced life, and when our time comes we are often surprised and like Schulz, we may feel cheated.
While I can relate to the fact that many artistic people have a challenge with managing the creative energy and thus living a balanced life, living an out-of-balance life is the norm today, and everyone – to one degree or another – is over-extended, over-worked and overwhelmed.
What I am learning is that living a balanced life is a simple, but not easy daily process of staying in alignment with the basic human needs that give meaning to our lives.
The most basic human need is to have a body, which is necessary for life on Earth. How well we love and care for our body determines our current and future health, and this includes paying attention to the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of our physical being.
Humans also have a basic need to love and feel loved in return. This means we need to know our needs – and to communicate these needs to the significant others in our lives – as well as being aware of their needs. Families are the human laboratory where we are meant to learn how to healthfully love and be loved.
As humans, we want to make a difference in the world and to feel that what we do has meaning, that our life matters and that we are here for a purpose. To do this, we need to come to peace with the awareness that there is something greater than we are in the universe and we are an integral part of it. This places us as a vital element in the ongoing rhythm and stream of life, and brings a sense of inner peace.
In today’s world, society’s measure of a successful man or woman is still someone who has achieved fame and fortune. After their death, if they were famous enough to have a documentary aired about them, as Charles Schulz was, the story comes out. The public likes to see their fame and fortune role models served up in neat packages to confirm the myth that success in the external world is the path to lasting happiness. When it isn’t true, they probe the person’s life to seek answers.
While the conflict of continued disappointment with unfulfilled desires works in a comic strip, in real life it is supremely depressing. This is why we are pulling for dear old Charlie Brown to get to kick the football, for Lucy not to be rejected by Schroeder and for all of them to get to see the Great Pumpkin.
Despite or because of his human frailties, Charles Schulz was able to create an impressive body of work and touch many lives. Yet his lament also confirms the value in seeking a balanced life. Fulfilling our potential is a wonderful life goal. When we are in balance within ourselves, then we may be assured that our life will bless us and everyone involved. It will be a celebration of the gift of life—the true path to happiness.
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
According to the documentary, Schulz, who died in 2000, was so intensely focused on his work that it took over his life and ultimately caused the breakup of his marriage. The documentary revealed that, unlike his public image as the "gentle genius" who had his life together, he was a shy, conflicted and complicated man whose inner issues were echoed in the neurotic attributes of his beloved characters.
When serious illness threatened his life, he asked his closest colleagues: How could this happen to me? What went wrong?
I don’t believe anything went wrong in the universal sense. By denying the fact that the other side of being born is dying, we often fail to live a full and balanced life, and when our time comes we are often surprised and like Schulz, we may feel cheated.
While I can relate to the fact that many artistic people have a challenge with managing the creative energy and thus living a balanced life, living an out-of-balance life is the norm today, and everyone – to one degree or another – is over-extended, over-worked and overwhelmed.
What I am learning is that living a balanced life is a simple, but not easy daily process of staying in alignment with the basic human needs that give meaning to our lives.
The most basic human need is to have a body, which is necessary for life on Earth. How well we love and care for our body determines our current and future health, and this includes paying attention to the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of our physical being.
Humans also have a basic need to love and feel loved in return. This means we need to know our needs – and to communicate these needs to the significant others in our lives – as well as being aware of their needs. Families are the human laboratory where we are meant to learn how to healthfully love and be loved.
As humans, we want to make a difference in the world and to feel that what we do has meaning, that our life matters and that we are here for a purpose. To do this, we need to come to peace with the awareness that there is something greater than we are in the universe and we are an integral part of it. This places us as a vital element in the ongoing rhythm and stream of life, and brings a sense of inner peace.
In today’s world, society’s measure of a successful man or woman is still someone who has achieved fame and fortune. After their death, if they were famous enough to have a documentary aired about them, as Charles Schulz was, the story comes out. The public likes to see their fame and fortune role models served up in neat packages to confirm the myth that success in the external world is the path to lasting happiness. When it isn’t true, they probe the person’s life to seek answers.
While the conflict of continued disappointment with unfulfilled desires works in a comic strip, in real life it is supremely depressing. This is why we are pulling for dear old Charlie Brown to get to kick the football, for Lucy not to be rejected by Schroeder and for all of them to get to see the Great Pumpkin.
Despite or because of his human frailties, Charles Schulz was able to create an impressive body of work and touch many lives. Yet his lament also confirms the value in seeking a balanced life. Fulfilling our potential is a wonderful life goal. When we are in balance within ourselves, then we may be assured that our life will bless us and everyone involved. It will be a celebration of the gift of life—the true path to happiness.
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
Monday, November 26, 2007
The True Path to Happy Holidays Comes from Within
Several weeks ago at a local church, the minister announced Thanksgiving Eve and Thanksgiving Day events for those who have no family or who choose not to be with the family they do have during the holidays. While this brought an amused reaction from the congregation, it is common knowledge that in today’s world many people experience sorrow over broken family relationships.
I understand that kind of sadness. I also realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.
I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday. Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.
It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.
There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.
However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.
This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.
What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives. This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.
My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.
What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.
I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
I understand that kind of sadness. I also realize that some of the depression during the holiday season is due to the unfulfilled dreams and desires that are often rooted in the mists of childhood. The sadness increases when people think of certain television commercials and movies that present an idyllic view of the perfect family holiday, as well as the imagined “wonderful” holidays everyone else is having.
I once held those images in my mind, but I have learned a lot since I quit buying into the ideal family holiday. Now I know that what is can be enough if you make the most of it.
It isn’t always possible to have close relationships with all your family members. Sometimes it is better to draw close to and bless those relationships we do have. We need to recognize, honor and relish every moment we have to spend with close friends and family.
There are, of course, profound and positive reasons for family gatherings, including savoring the bond represented by extended family, and more importantly allowing children to be embraced in a circle of multigenerational love that provides a strong foundation that will enhance their entire lives. It also gives us an opportunity to learn to honor and accept differences, which is a quality much needed in the world today.
However, while our individual holiday challenges may differ, the emotions they bring may be the same. For me, my adult children and grandchildren are building their own traditions and going their own ways, which is a natural part of the life process. I discovered that dwelling on whom or what I didn’t have in my life during the holidays was a waste of time and life energy. It only results in stress and sadness and detracts from the true meaning of the holidays.
This is a time of year when people aren’t embarrassed to open their hearts and revel in the joy and blessing of sharing with others and truly feeling the joy of being alive. I choose that. I refuse to be cheated out of this goodness by letting any less than positive thoughts rule my consciousness.
What this means is taking control of my thoughts and my life before the holiday season arrives. This year I planned a small gathering early in November to kick off the season. I also bought beautiful poinsettia plants to brighten my home and lift my spirits, and placed electric candles in the upstairs window to broadcast my joy to others.
My holiday calendar [some of which I initiated] also includes intimate time with some family members and longtime friends for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea at a lovely hotel, a holiday-themed concert and theater production, cookie decorating, and holiday movies with my younger grandchildren followed by a trip to the mall to see the seasonal decorations.
What I discovered is that when you choose to do what you truly enjoy, with people who are important and meaningful in your life, the events are guaranteed to fill your arms with hugs and your heart with love.
I don’t believe in allowing the actions or inactions of others to control my happiness. I believe the secret is not to wait for the joy and love to come to us, but to reach out and share our own love and joy—making the world a far better place!
________________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch
The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.
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