The Great Gift in Listening

My sister was in town for a visit recently, and I hosted a small dinner party, which was the smallest gathering ever of my large birth family.

Normally at our full family gatherings there are anywhere from thirty to fifty people ranging from kindergartners to senior citizens. It is a lively and loving gathering, but usually there is little time for more than superficial fact finding about family members – the ritual breaking of bread – and the “see-you-next year” hugs.

Everyone in my family likes to talk, and we all think we have something decidedly important to say, yet what I noticed last night was a distinct difference. At first I think there was a little anxiety as they found it was such a small group, and realized that it wouldn’t be the typical hello-and-goodbye event.

This initial uneasiness soon passed, as conversations began to flow easily and the comfort level grew. It became obvious there was a new level of connectedness between the participants as the parameters expanded and they had the opportunity to know and be known, as well as to hear and be heard.

I learned that a niece and nephew are extraordinary parents who have guided their children to near-adulthood by living what they want their children to be. All four members of this particular family are involved in community service, devoted to their spiritual beliefs, environmentally and politically aware and actively pursuing making the world a better place for themselves and others.

What I later learned in unsolicited comments from individual guests was that they had discovered in two siblings a hither-to-unknown breadth and depth of knowledge and wisdom. Each person mentioned the conversations and what a joy it was to cover a wide range of national issues and have the focus be on brainstorming creative solutions rather than complaining about the status quo.

After contemplating this experience, I realized that the most important relationship of our lives—the one with self is not possible without going within and listening to that still small voice. Our culture teaches us to focus on the external and discourages listening to and knowing the true essence of who we are. By going within we can discover the sanctuary within each of us where in spite of the traumas of life there is the love we all seek, as well as peace, guidance, joy, wisdom and trust in life.

I also recalled that the indigenous peoples of the world have been saying for decades and with great emphasis that it is time we started listening to nature. Perhaps in listening, we will learn to understand and cooperate with this incredible force instead of trying to subdue it. Maybe if we truly listen to each other we will be more aware of our similarities and less focused on the differences—which allows us to objectify others so that we don’t have to care about what happens to them. Obviously there are great gifts for humanity in listening!
_______________________________
Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author's book, THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY -- How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within, is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.