Monday, June 21, 2010

Balancing the Ego and the Real Self ... the Key to Freedom and Success

It took me many years to understand that in order to live a meaningful existence and successfully fulfill my life’s purpose I had to free the vise grip of the ego and balance it with my true essence. The ego-self is that aspect I call the “little me, the fearful me.” My true essence or my “real self” is that part of me that knows my inherent self-worth, my capabilities and also recognizes that I am a necessary and vital part of life on Earth.

Actually, for most of those uncomprehending years, I didn’t even know there was a difference between my real self and an inflated ego-self – and I had no idea that knowing who you really are is vital to living a successful life free of negatives that limit you in all you do. Like many people when I imagined someone with high self-esteem I pictured an individual surrounded by people hanging on his or her every word. I immediately, and enviously, presumed that such a person had healthy self-esteem.

Now I know that could be true but it might also just be someone with a well-rehearsed and manufactured sense of self that doesn’t come from the core of their being.

Many of us learned in psychology class that how we really think about ourselves can determine how we function in the world in every facet of our lives, including how successful we will be in any endeavor. This is true.

We were also taught that who and what we think we are is based on our own past experiences and our judgments of the same, as well as the opinions that others hold about us. That is not wholly true.

We are so much more than the sum of our critical judgments of self and the often erroneous opinions of others. Obviously it is true that what we experience in life does play a part in the beliefs we hold about ourselves, but using only that method of determining our individual self-worth omits any awareness of the full spiritual magnificence of who we truly are.

Today we know that behind the ego-self there is a spiritual ego that seeks to express through us as our real self. This is our inborn truth, our essence. We are individualized expressions of God, the energy-love-intelligence that permeates everything in the universe, and that is also the nature of who we are. Once we can own and embrace our sacredness and our unity with all life, it is much easier to reclaim our natural and healthy self-worth.

As we progress toward releasing the self-deception, subterfuge and masks hiding who we really are, this triggers a spontaneous process that is inherent in every human being. While the transformational process comes up spontaneously, nothing happens beyond that unless we actively continue our efforts to be in balance. This is of vital importance today as humanity’s unbalanced state of consciousness has created the troubled world we live in right now. If we want to change the existing negative situations, we must elevate our consciousness by balancing our ego with our real selves.

The first step in recognizing and expressing our real selves is to clear away anything that separates us from our actual and genuine goodness, love and generosity, as well as our feelings and wonderful human ways of being. We do this by living a life grounded in integrity, principles and values and aligning with the goodness at the core of our being. When we make a conscious choice to do this, the inborn transformational process is engaged and assists us in freeing our real selves.

This freedom to be who we were really born to be is not within the power of governments to give, nor can it be won through war, but is inherent in humanity’s DNA, if we will only recognize it.

To help us realize a healthy balance between our ego and our real selves, I recommend the following positive affirmations be repeated daily as often as needed: Today I accept the fullness of my true Self. I claim and express my inborn essence in everything I think, say and do. I am heir to all the Good that is, and this Good goes before me every day of my life, fulfilling my needs, and filling every situation with balance, harmony, peace and love. And So It Is!
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Creating Hope and Happiness in a World Rocked by Challenge and Change

There is no way to minimize the huge problems we face in our world. I have written about the lack of honesty, integrity, morals and ethics, as well as commonsense, that has become pandemic. And if that decline wasn’t bad enough in itself, it has spawned a culture of insatiable greed that permeates every level of our lives.

I added some other challenges, including pollution, the politicizing of critical issues, global warming, over-population, healthcare, war, terrorism, religious differences, illegal immigration, poverty, and economic problems – along with the widespread lack of understanding by individuals as to what to do about these seemingly unsolvable challenges.

Then I mixed in the fact that we are in the midst of a transformational change brought on by the speed with which technological advances are becoming part of our lives. There is already an excessive global reliance on the Internet and we are obsessed with high-tech “toys.” According to the experts, nanotech – the revolutionary science of creating devices and products from single atoms and molecules – will alter life as we know it by the end of this century.

When I paused to take in a breath, a sense of sadness washed over me as the reality of all the difficulties sank in. This was followed immediately by a total lack of interest in continuing to focus on problems. In my opinion we’ve done too much of that already, and all it has done is foster a sense of helplessness and hopelessness.

With that change of thought, up rose pure joy, hope and an expectancy of good because I realized there is something we can do as individuals.

I remembered what some of the masters, spiritual sages and visionaries of the past have said. They described life on Earth as a beautiful banquet of selections from which we have the freedom to choose, and our experience is meant to be as easy and enjoyable as a stroll in the park on a warm sunshiny day.

Naturally, this means that until humanity has evolved enough to make only choices that benefit all life, we will still face serious and confusing challenges. What we need to discover is a path between the ideal we seek and the reality of what is right now. This will help us cope with our fear and resistance to change. Then, instead of opposing change, a constant in life, we will be able to partner with it to co-create better lives while we continue evolving into more conscious and aware human beings.

The concept that great thinkers and spiritual masters have been trying to teach us for eons is simply – It is done unto us as we believe. This means that what we think, believe, say and express on a daily basis becomes reality in our individual lives, as well as contributing to world thought and creating our global experience.

If the results are not desirable, we can change them by changing our thoughts. This is where we acknowledge and accept our own power.

As long as we continue thinking negatively about everything that is going on in our lives and in the world, we remain part of the problem. If we can stop the gloom and doom thinking and blaming others, and start thinking positively, we will change in ways we can’t even imagine. For starters, we will no longer be depressed as we will be part of the solution and victims no more.

While we may not know what the future will look like – how our economies will work, how our health will be preserved, how our children will be educated, how we will use technology rather than allowing it to use us – we can trust that the best-case scenarios are taking place instead of the worst. By focusing our energies, we can help evolution happen by design and in decency and order instead of by default and in chaos and despair – a huge difference.

Current conditions signal that it is time to take responsibility for being a co-creator of what happens on Earth. Here’s my prescription: Put a big smile on your face, laugh and be happy at every possible opportunity, move forward confidently and courageously each day – and repeat the following positive affirmations to anchor in the truth of who we really are: I am perfect, whole and complete right now. I am eternal, immortal and infinite. I trust in life, change, love, wisdom, wholeness, peace- God. All is well in my life and the world! And So It Is!
Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.