RESPECT ... The Key to a Kinder, More Civilized and Sane Society

We live in an age of disrespect that defines and diminishes our daily lives. Where we once had institutions, professions and family values that were revered, now there is nothing or no one who is beyond ridicule. This has damaged our country to the point that it threatens the core of our society. Crime, drug addiction and depression rates are at all-time highs and rising. Many of our young people are disrespectful of parents, teachers and authority figures. They are disillusioned by our nation’s image in the world, and they don’t believe in or trust their parents, the media, politicians, religion, the legal system or the future.

Experts believe that all behavior problems in otherwise healthy children can be traced back to respect. I agree. The sad news is that the level of respect for one’s self and others that would be necessary to reverse this situation is at an extremely low level in our culture today.

Children learn what they live. Respect begins in the home, and has to be taught and lived by all conscious and aware parents. This is where any long-term resolution has to start. It also needs to be supported in schools, media, churches, businesses and communities across the country. It also needs to be embraced by our national leaders and all public figures who are role models for young people.

I wish I had known when my children were young what I know now. I learned that as a parent, respect is not something we can demand or is automatic; it happens naturally when we have cleaned up our own lives. As we respect ourselves, we automatically respect others.

While there is little we can do to affect the uncivilized behavior of many in our country, we can begin in our own families as parents, grandparents and relatives to focus on teaching respect for honesty, integrity, morality, truth and each other. This was once The American Way.

In order to become respectful adults, children must live in an environment of respect – parent to parent, child to child, parent to child and child to parent. They must be taught that loving and respecting self is the first step in loving and respecting others.

Parenting must be viewed as a sacred responsibility, and parents must be willing to be physically, emotionally and mentally present and available. Parents must teach and live all the desired virtues they wish their children to embrace. They must stop such unhealthy habits as negative sarcasm and name calling between everyone in the household.

There are commonsense and accepted basics that should be part of every child’s early training. They should be taught to respect and honor their bodies and how to healthfully care for them. All children need boundaries and structure as well as consistency in words, actions and decisions. This builds a sense of security and trust they can take into the larger world.

By respecting children’s emotions and teaching them to use words to express their feelings, parents can add immeasurably to a child’s sense of self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. This is vital to their being able to say NO to any number of potentially life-damaging decisions facing young people in America each day.

Children should also be encouraged to go within and nurture their inner life through age-appropriate techniques such as quiet time, daydreaming, being in nature [often], listening to beautiful music and reading uplifting literature, as well as prayer and meditation. As they mature in an environment of respect, they will realize this connection with their inner life is a link with life itself. And this, my friends, is a natural antidote for the isolation and lack of self worth experienced by so many teenagers.

Last but not least, children need to grow up surrounded by friends and extended family who also love and cherish them for who they are. This is the foundation that will allow them to survive and thrive in life.

I call on the grandparents of this nation to support the respectful parenting of children. They are our future. I believe we can make a difference and in the process—change the course of history.

[To view or print – A Parents Pledge: Ten Basic Rules for Teaching and Living Respectful Lives – go to www.FernStewartWelch.com, click on How-to-lists and then Parent’s Pledge.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.