When Changes Come Up, the Ego Also Rises

It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I know that change is the only constant in life and nothing remains the same for long. I have learned to cope with many life changes, but when one affects my inner peace, it commands my full attention.

I’ve also known for a long time that life on Earth is all about learning lessons. When it is time for us to grow – or past time – the universe gives us a shove by presenting us with changes that are opportunities to stretch and continue expanding our awareness.

I confess that like many people, the older I get the more I resist change. The most recent example of this surfaced for me when I once again heard from family and friends that it was time for me to move into a single-level house because my future health situation might preclude being able to negotiate stairs.

First of all, I’m healthy and love everything about my townhouse, from the location to the vaulted ceilings and the upstairs bedroom – which reminds me of a childhood tree house – to the small patio garden that allows me a daily dose of God’s beauty and goodness. Second, since I believe in living in the present and expecting the best, it didn’t make sense to sell my beloved house now because of an imagined possible negative situation in the future.

However, their concern lingered in my mind, as it seemed so strong and sincere that I began doubting my decision. Was I just being stubborn and foolish, or worse yet, experiencing every senior citizen’s worst nightmare – losing our grip on reality? The more I thought about that, the more I dipped into fear and it was impossible to think about moving or not moving objectively.

After a week of angst, I realized that I was in a tug-of-war with that part of self with the small “s” which refers to the “little me,” the ego. In other words, the ego seeks to control our experiences in the world based on false information we subconsciously believe about ourselves. This includes our weaknesses, defenses, sense of self-worth and our fears, especially the fear of big changes in our lives.

When I finally turned within and asked for guidance, I was led to mentally go back to the time I made the original decision to remain in the townhouse after the death of my husband. As I settled into this experience, I once again felt the love and clarity of that moment. I also realized quickly that in doing this I had reclaimed my inner peace.

Free of the ego’s grip and the fear of change, I was now open to allow wisdom and truth to flow through me. I was fully and wholly able to bless my family and friends for caring and to confirm my original decision as long as it made sense – and when it didn’t any more, I would make whatever change was needed at that time.

When changes, challenges and life decisions come up that threaten our equilibrium, we can be certain that the ego also rises. What we don’t have to do is give in to the vise grip of the ego, which can so discombobulate us that we can’t see the truth in a situation and come to a clear, reasoned decision.

Since we’re aware that as long as we are on Earth there will be changes, as well as more lessons to learn, I recommend repeating these daily affirmations: I choose God-Truth and make healthy, life-enhancing choices about every change, challenge or decision that presents itself in my life. In, for, with and through God, nothing can threaten my inner stability!
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders, and to the trade from Ingram Book Co., Baker & Taylor and other wholesalers.