Balancing the Ego and the Real Self ... the Key to Freedom and Success

It took me many years to understand that in order to live a meaningful existence and successfully fulfill my life’s purpose I had to free the vise grip of the ego and balance it with my true essence. The ego-self is that aspect I call the “little me, the fearful me.” My true essence or my “real self” is that part of me that knows my inherent self-worth, my capabilities and also recognizes that I am a necessary and vital part of life on Earth.

Actually, for most of those uncomprehending years, I didn’t even know there was a difference between my real self and an inflated ego-self – and I had no idea that knowing who you really are is vital to living a successful life free of negatives that limit you in all you do. Like many people when I imagined someone with high self-esteem I pictured an individual surrounded by people hanging on his or her every word. I immediately, and enviously, presumed that such a person had healthy self-esteem.

Now I know that could be true but it might also just be someone with a well-rehearsed and manufactured sense of self that doesn’t come from the core of their being.

Many of us learned in psychology class that how we really think about ourselves can determine how we function in the world in every facet of our lives, including how successful we will be in any endeavor. This is true.

We were also taught that who and what we think we are is based on our own past experiences and our judgments of the same, as well as the opinions that others hold about us. That is not wholly true.

We are so much more than the sum of our critical judgments of self and the often erroneous opinions of others. Obviously it is true that what we experience in life does play a part in the beliefs we hold about ourselves, but using only that method of determining our individual self-worth omits any awareness of the full spiritual magnificence of who we truly are.

Today we know that behind the ego-self there is a spiritual ego that seeks to express through us as our real self. This is our inborn truth, our essence. We are individualized expressions of God, the energy-love-intelligence that permeates everything in the universe, and that is also the nature of who we are. Once we can own and embrace our sacredness and our unity with all life, it is much easier to reclaim our natural and healthy self-worth.

As we progress toward releasing the self-deception, subterfuge and masks hiding who we really are, this triggers a spontaneous process that is inherent in every human being. While the transformational process comes up spontaneously, nothing happens beyond that unless we actively continue our efforts to be in balance. This is of vital importance today as humanity’s unbalanced state of consciousness has created the troubled world we live in right now. If we want to change the existing negative situations, we must elevate our consciousness by balancing our ego with our real selves.

The first step in recognizing and expressing our real selves is to clear away anything that separates us from our actual and genuine goodness, love and generosity, as well as our feelings and wonderful human ways of being. We do this by living a life grounded in integrity, principles and values and aligning with the goodness at the core of our being. When we make a conscious choice to do this, the inborn transformational process is engaged and assists us in freeing our real selves.

This freedom to be who we were really born to be is not within the power of governments to give, nor can it be won through war, but is inherent in humanity’s DNA, if we will only recognize it.

To help us realize a healthy balance between our ego and our real selves, I recommend the following positive affirmations be repeated daily as often as needed: Today I accept the fullness of my true Self. I claim and express my inborn essence in everything I think, say and do. I am heir to all the Good that is, and this Good goes before me every day of my life, fulfilling my needs, and filling every situation with balance, harmony, peace and love. And So It Is!
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Copyright © 2010 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s books: “Tea with Elisabeth,” “The Heart Knows the Way,” and “You Can Live A Balanced Life In An Unbalanced World,” are available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.