Monday, March 19, 2007

Stay Tuned: I Am a Work In Progress

In a recent column called “The Great Gift in Listening,” I talked about the importance of truly listening to others as a way of stopping the habit of objectifying others so that we could rationalize not caring about them. Shortly after writing that column a real-life situation came up that dramatically pointed out how this unwise practice had become a part of my behavior. Fortunately it also gave me the opportunity to learn some important lessons.

I have a relative who I have avoided for years because the person directs irrational and out-of-control emotional rages at others, including me. Immediately after a recent unsettling experience I realized the following: This person wasn’t going to change. Listening wasn’t the appropriate solution. And, it was time for me to choose a proactive approach for the sake of my health and well being.

I recalled that when the behavior surfaced years ago I had no tools with which to deal with it. I simply worked at quickly stuffing any thoughts and emotions I held about the person and the incident so that I could forget the whole thing. Now I know that the emotions I hold about the person and their behavior links the event and the person to me. Until I can release the energies I have invested in this situation, I will be emotionally and energetically tied to this undesirable interaction.

While writing my book “The Heart Knows the Way,” I learned a technique to clear energy held around unnecessary mental-emotional baggage that is no longer positive, desirable or life enhancing. [“Clear Now and Create the Life You Desire” is available on my Web site at http://www.fernstewartwelch.com/.]

After a few clearing sessions, I became aware that no matter when the situation or event takes place, and whether we remember it or not, it becomes a part of our cellular structure. The energy remains red hot and wired so that when something triggers it, the brain automatically sends us the same emotional reaction we had at the time of the original incident. The amount of emotion it brings up depends totally on the degree of unresolved emotion-energy that we still have invested in the issue.

The good news is that each time the energy-emotion comes up it is an opportunity for those involved to release the energy and be free.

I am fully aware that it isn’t possible to change another person, or wise to try to force their conscious awareness. But I can choose my actions and reactions. I also know that if I am involved in this situation, there are lessons for me to learn as well.

My desire is to be free of this issue and my emotional reaction to this person’s behavior. I also realize that what the other person chooses to do or not to do is none of my business. I decided to begin forgiveness work for myself and the other person for any real or imagined wrong we have ever done to each other, past or present. I would continue the energy-clearing technique, and direct daily thoughts of love and blessings to the person.

I will know I am healed [free] when I no longer hold any energy-emotion around this issue or the person.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

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