The Need for Brotherhood in Today's World

For the first decade of my life, I didn’t have much use for brothers, probably because I had four of them. My younger brother was a competitor for my mother’s affection and attention, and the two immediately older ones – whenever they were around – teased and harassed me and made my life miserable. It would take a traumatic emotional event later in my life and the long-term commitment of our eldest brother to teach me the true value of brotherhood.

I have no childhood memories of our oldest brother, as he was in the Navy when I was very young and I never really got to know him. I was positively disposed toward him, however, as 1) He had never harassed me and 2) On one of his trips home he brought me a gold charm bracelet from Washington, D.C. This was a big deal in my life, as back then gifts were not the common everyday occurrence they are today. That would have to wait for Hallmark.

As it turned out, the opportunity to really get to know my oldest male sibling would also be many years in the future. After he completed his tour of duty in the military, he remained in Tokyo earning his undergraduate degree at Jochi University and working as a journalist. He came back to the U.S. briefly to attend the American Graduate School of International Management, married, and returned to Tokyo with his wife. During the ensuing years, he became a prolific author and recognized expert on the culture and languages of Japan, China, Korea and Mexico.

My brother and his wife came back to Arizona in the 1960s so that their daughters could grow up near family and attend school in the U.S. He pursued his career by making extended trips abroad. It wasn’t until my marriage dissolved and I also returned with my children that we had the opportunity to be together for the first time in our adult lives.

My divorce was the first one ever in my family, and no one, except my oldest brother, seemed to be aware or capable of providing any support. I had accepted a position as assistant public relations director for a local bank, which under ideal conditions would have meant only a healthful career stretch. But my situation was far from ideal, and my self-confidence was at an all-time low. My brother called me at work and offered to help me in any way that I needed. This was wonderful, as he was not only a consummate writer, editor and author; he also had great skills in marketing and promotion.

One of my responsibilities was to write, edit and oversee the publishing of a monthly magazine that went to all the bank’s publics, including customers, financial affiliates, stockholders and media. Although I was a former newspaper reporter and had written for a similar publication at a bank in Portland, Oregon, I had never produced one on my own. I called my brother, and he came over to my house immediately. He worked with me all night getting the issue ready to go. Under his tutelage and ongoing positive support, I opened fully to my own natural abilities and experienced greater future success than I ever imagined. All of which he applauded with great joy.

It took a lot of time and hard work, but my life began to show definite improvement in all areas. My brother began urging me to write a book about what I was living because he thought my positive approach would help others. As a single parent, my life was full at the time, plus I didn’t know the first thing about writing a book, so I resisted until my second husband’s extended illness and death. I had been journaling for many years and recognized that in the journals I had kept through that challenging time there might be a book. My brother confirmed that and joyously assisted me in structuring and publishing my first book.

I also became aware through the years that my brother had generously shared his wisdom and experience with many individuals and groups who were committed to becoming word warriors. In my case, he gave me encouragement and support when I was down, took the time to listen, challenge and encourage my growth as a consciously aware human being and provided unconditional caring that magnified and gave meaning to my successes and cushioned the failures.

Most of us are already aware that brotherly love was never meant to be taken literally and confined to relatives or gender. “Brotherhood” is a role any of us can play in someone’s life when they need a helping hand. The capability of forging a bond of brotherly love with another human being is inherent in all of us, and is much needed in today’s world where there is such widespread disconnection and a pervasive fear of intimacy.

Along the way, I have made it a practice to follow my brother’s example in reaching out to help others. In the process, I believe I became a better person, as well as a better sister to all my siblings. This was easier than I imagined because those pesky boys turned out to be surprisingly decent and likeable human beings—most of the time.
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Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.