Embracing Life Means Embracing Change

Looking ahead to a recent holiday weekend, I decided not to wait for someone else to invite me to their party. I’ve done that a few times in the past since my husband died and ended up being a party of one. Instead, I invited my brother and his wife and another recently widowed brother to meet for a dinner out. They happily accepted and brought along a daughter and grandson who would otherwise have been alone. I learned years ago how to cope proactively with life’s inevitable changes and was reminded of that by my sister-in-law.

She turned to me, while we were waiting to be seated, and announced sadly that this was the first time in many years that they have not hosted a large family event at their house. She missed cooking her family’s favorite dishes, baking the traditional apple pie and serving it up with her famous homemade ice cream. I could easily commiserate with her as I recalled the first time that happened in my life and the sadness the experience brought up. It is much more than giving up the joy of being the heart and hub of such joyous and precious gatherings; it is a signal that our families are growing up, life is changing and there will be many more such changes on the way.

Someone said that suffering and sadness are caused by trying to hold on to something that has passed. I learned by experience that this is true: First through the breakup of my first marriage and beloved family, and then by the death of my second husband. Life is change. We are faced with accepting change and finding ways to cope and move forward and remain part of living, or resisting it and consciously saying no to life and denying what is.

It seems that human beings are the only life form that tries to stop the ongoing process and hold onto the status quo. This is diametrically opposed to the energy and activity of life which is forever seeking to express more fully. In resisting change and trying to keep everything the same so that we feel comfortable, we remove ourselves from the natural flow of life.

We only succeed in ceasing to be active participants in the ongoing creative process. This separates us from the eternal and sublime energy that is within everyone and everything in the universe, and results in feelings of sadness and loneliness.

In order to survive and thrive when changes happen, we have to learn to be creative. If holidays are painful because the family gatherings are no more, take your mate and go on a cruise and fall in love all over again. If you are single, ask a friend to go with you on a trip and have an adventure. Give your own party and invite those who are in a similar situation, and they will be delighted. Make plans to go out to dinner with friends and family, or to a movie or to a live performance. Move out of your comfort zone, and savor the freedom and opportunities that changes bring to kick-start a new and exciting stage of life.

Here is what my friends and I say to each other whenever the occasion calls for it. Whether the change concerns our health, financial situation, work, relationships or the loss of loved ones, we say: Be good to yourself. Have whatever emotional response you need as long as you need it, then pull up your socks, make whatever adjustments necessary and go on with life. We are here for you.

I can look back now and give thanks for the opportunities and lessons learned from embracing the changes in my life. Meeting life head-on with the intention to grow through the lessons and become the true spiritual beings we were born to be is the path to becoming conscious and aware. Keeping an attitude of gratitude during the process is essential.

Here are the daily affirmations that I repeat as often as possible: I choose life. I embrace and learn the lessons from change. I choose to live fully, healthfully and joyously – to maintain physical, mental and emotional clarity all the days of my life – and to die with a prayer of gratitude on my lips for the gift of life. And So It Is!
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Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.