Sunday, September 28, 2008

Turning Kids Into Healthy Adults

My granddaughter will turn thirteen this week, and her brother will soon be sixteen. I have been thinking a lot about each of them lately, as well as the many other youngsters who are poised on the cusp of adulthood. Many of our children today are looking outside the family for role models and turning to young celebrities, which is a cause for concern. The problem is that when these famous child-stars leave the movie studios, concert halls or sports stadiums they sometimes have serious trouble coping with their lives.

It should be of intense national concern that there is such a general lack of attention, awareness and preparation for this incredibly important rite of passage from childhood to adulthood. Yet, how successfully or unsuccessfully our children negotiate this time will have repercussions for years to come for everyone concerned, including society as a whole.

Our nation’s children need to know how amazing and precious they are and that each one is a unique and necessary part of life on Earth. They need to know the value of adhering to a high code of ethics, that their actions have consequences, how to create healthy relationships, as well as how to control their minds, emotions and finances. In this way, they can successfully grow from childhood to adulthood and create meaningful and fulfilling lives that benefit humanity and our planet.

Surely we can come up with something better than merely observing the now universally accepted rites of passage of getting a driver’s license, buying alcohol or getting tattooed or pierced.

Throughout history, far less complex societies than ours saw the need and came up with some sort of training program that when completed marked a child’s transition into adulthood and also their acceptance of responsibility as a full-fledged contributing member of their tribe or community.

While it is no longer appropriate for a young boy to track, kill and drag home some wild beast to fulfill his claim to manhood, there still exists some primitive instinct in teenagers that drives them to seek some external action to prove s/he is a grownup. When there is not enough support, guidance or positive influence from family, the teens automatically turn to their peers, who don’t know any more than they do, to seek an outlet for this inner urge.

The danger in that default “parenting” is that the act can include such serious options as the use of alcohol, drugs, cars, sex and/or a strong show of bravado, which may include getting into fights and destroying property, harming others and/or rebelling against school, parents and all authority.

I thought back to something Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book “The Prophet.” He said that as parents we are the bow and our children and grandchildren are the arrows into the future. These young adults hold not only their own future, but the fate of our planet in their hands. With a challenging time facing us in every area of life on Earth, we must do much more to help our children negotiate the perilous passage from childhood to adulthood.

Since many parents today don’t know how to help prepare children for adulthood, or they handle it poorly, there must be another way in which we can rescue millions of youngsters who may end up becoming sad statistics instead of functioning members of society.

This could be done through the existing school system. There is hardly a thinking parent, teacher – or politician who doesn’t already know that we need a new vision of education in our country that will bring our educational system into this century and actually prepare students for the future they will inherit.

Looking at this situation from a wiser and more visionary approach would show our children that not only are they our most precious legacy; they are our nation’s highest priority. In the process, we would be giving them the tools to become fully conscious and aware adults – the real purpose of education – and to take their place as contributing members of society and protectors of our planet.
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Copyright © 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within – is available at Amazon.com, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.

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