If Communications Are at a Pinnacle in History, Why Are We Living in a Disconnected World?

In a recent conversation, a friend asked me about an incident that caused a breach between me and a mutual friend. I had to admit that neither of us had ever made any attempt to resolve the situation. Even though we have maintained a relationship during the ensuing years, there is no longer trust, intimacy or any real connection between us.

I realize that my experience is typical of the increasing inability of individuals to communicate with each other. Ask anyone you know. Friends can’t reveal themselves to friends. Relatives can’t relate with relatives. Siblings can’t communicate with siblings, mothers with daughters, fathers with sons or the parents with each other. And it goes right on from there through every aspect of society, and all levels of government, at home and abroad.

A wide breach in communication exists between Israelis and Palestinians, between Sunnis and Shiites, and on and on and on, and this is one of the, if not the major reason we have such violence in the Middle East and throughout the world. It is also the major reason that we continue to use wars as a misguided and primitive attempt at conflict resolution.

I watched a documentary the other night on Tony Blair and his decade as prime minister of the United Kingdom. His courageous commitment to personal involvement in peace talks in Ireland was a key to its historic success. He left a meeting of world leaders to be sure this process had his undivided attention and literally worked around the clock for days to see it through. His ability to communicate clearly on a human level, his negotiation skills, as well as his unflagging dedication, literally saved the day. He did this even though he knew if his efforts failed he was at great political risk.

I remember a few other instances in my lifetime when other leaders with integrity and awareness realized the vital importance of the human dimension in communication and opened opportunities for resolutions when absolutely nothing else could.

Relationships between individuals are not simple. Security in relationships does not and never will come from having power over someone. Security in relationships comes from building connections, which builds trust. True intimacy is based on the willingness to be vulnerable, and to risk, which is the opposite of control.

On the international level, it is extremely important that communication be approached with the intention of negotiation instead of impressing, threatening or having power over. It requires personal integrity, intelligence and ethical, moral and spiritual maturity to lead a nation and to interact globally.

While the current situation in Washington is chaotic and distressing, I believe that this and the reality of the global problems may help bring us out of our national apathy. This could present a unique opportunity to learn what we can do that will change our lives and help alter the course of our nation and the world.

I believe that the challenges in our world serve as a mirror and simply reflect the basic fears and problems we face in our own lives. We can’t connect with each other and resolve the simplest conflicts, and our national leaders are having the same problem. We also don’t rise up as one voice and demand better solutions in national and international situations.

I believe the only hope for peace in this world is to restore basic human to human communication. And this must begin with each one of us. When we are able to communicate clearly and negotiate solutions, we will naturally expect it of everyone else, and demand it of our leaders.
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Copyright 2007 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available from Amazon.com, other online booksellers, and through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.