Getting Un-stuck From Our "Stories"

At one time or another, most of us have experienced some sort of life trauma that comes from illness, death of a loved one, relationship woes, work or financial problems. In order to deal with these life challenges, it is often helpful and healthy to share our “story” with a few close confidantes or seek out life counselors until we can heal enough to move into the future on our own.

When we are going through these experiences, however, it isn’t uncommon to feel as if we have temporarily stepped out of time and the world goes on but we’re just not part of it. Sometimes the sadness, frustration and grief are so intense that we feel as if we will never come out of the dark tunnel. Yet with time, the desire to heal, and a little help from our friends, we emerge into the light.

The problem arises when we get stuck in our story and it becomes our identity. Instead of healing and moving on, years later we are still trapped in the situation and still telling the same old story, because we don’t know how to let go of the past and free ourselves to move on.

As I recall some of the individuals who have shared their stories with me, I recognize that a few still wear their “ancient” history like badges of honor. No encounter with them is complete without a listing of the wrongs others have done to them. I also realize with great tenderness and caring, from having been there, that this is one of the most debilitating of life’s circumstances.

I believe that in the extreme this is one of the reasons for the uncivilized and aggressive behavior that some individuals present to the world. I also believe it is why so many people turn to alcohol or other drugs to numb their feelings of being trapped and therefore helpless and hopeless.

Feeling like a victim and being trapped in experiences that are seemingly out of our control and that go from worse to worse – without any understanding or awareness of how to get out of our self-imposed prison – is surely a version of hell on Earth.

If all of that isn’t bad enough, the next stage is that our history becomes our biology and our health begins to be compromised. It is not possible to continue holding such non-life-enhancing thoughts and emotions of anger, grief, hatred, hopelessness, jealousy and sadness without them eventually manifesting in the physical body as illness and disease. I heard someone say that holding negative emotions about another is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Now I know that we draw life circumstances to us to provide opportunities to learn how to be in alignment with Universal Laws so that we can live in harmony and balance. At first the lessons come in gentle ways, and if we are open to learning, we face what is, learn what we can from it, and are freed to create better lives for ourselves and our loved ones.

If we are in resistance to facing what is and learning the lessons, the opportunities become more intense and the results less desirable, and all in direct response to our inner thoughts, beliefs and emotions. It truly is done unto us as we believe.

We have been given the ability and the right of free will to consciously or unconsciously choose what our life experiences will be. The universe delivers to us without prejudice or judgment exactly what we place as an order through our beliefs, thoughts and emotions. These principles are timeless, immutable and unwavering.

Simply having the knowledge of Universal Laws and how they work is not enough to be successful. It requires becoming aware of and consciously aligning and harmonizing with these simple truths, as well as releasing the self-sabotaging thoughts and limiting beliefs that hold so many of us in bondage. We alone hold the key to living a life beyond the reach of any self-imposed boundaries or limitations. By choosing to align our focus and actions with these powerful principles, we can create a new story that supports desirable outcomes in every area of our life and affairs.
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Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.