How to Become and Stay Happy

I spent many years of my life seeking happiness, without having the foggiest idea of the vital part I played in how and when I experienced it. All I could do during the times when life was exceptionally good was to try to hang onto it for as long as possible, which was never very long. My happiness revolved around external circumstances, events and other people, which were subject to change and often out of my control. This meant that I ended up trying to hold onto what was already in the past – otherwise referred to as getting the short end of the stick.

For most of us, when the feel-good high takes a dip, we are met with a sense of sadness and loss. If we have become addicted to the euphoric feelings that can accompany happy times – and who hasn’t? – we once again begin the search for happiness outside ourselves and the cycle continues. Like most people, I naturally came to believe that happiness was out of my control, came from outside sources and was never meant to last. I was wrong.

The truth is our very souls yearn for happiness, which is our birthright, and the Constitution protects our right to seek it. We are programmed like heat-seeking missiles to experience this aliveness that lifts us up and fills us to the brim on all levels of our being. The challenge is that many of us are too used to looking in all the wrong places, i.e. outside of us. We also need to understand the difference between the fleeting type of happiness, which is intense and delightful, but doesn’t endure, and the more meaningful happiness that comes from deep within us and is lasting. Both are desirable for a balanced life and each is positively within our power to realize.

I heartily recommend all the following ways to boost our daily happiness quotient, as well as beginning our preparation for becoming self-contained happiness units: Keep an attitude of gratitude. Forgive ourselves for any wrongs done to others, and forgive those who have wronged us. Treat ourselves with the same goodwill, kindness and love we lavish on others. Share our unique gifts with others and make the world a better place. Affirm and accept an expectancy of good in every area of our lives. Learn from life’s lessons. Know who we are and what we really want, which allows us to make decisions easily. Build strong friendships and family relationships. Take time to appreciate the simple pleasures of life and to enjoy friends, family and nature. Stay actively involved in life. Take care of the physical body. Believe in that which is beautiful, good, loving, pure and true.

In my experience, it is possible to become a “self-contained happiness unit” and retain a sense of well-being and peace despite the usual ups and downs of life. It does require a higher level of focus and commitment. I believe this can happen by choice any time we’re ready to turn within and consciously align with the life force-love-intelligence that is within us and everything in the universe. However, due to free will, this action usually happens only when we are forced into this as a last-ditch effort by some traumatic life event.

In my case, when my beloved husband began a lengthy decline that would result in his death, I was compelled to look within and seek support and solace. The dire circumstances brought forth a need that was so powerful that it fueled my daily intention to connect with the eternal and sublime energy that is within us and everything in the universe.

During this process, I touched the sanctuary of unconditional love, support and wisdom within us, which is the heart’s desire of every human being. This is also where peace, trust in life and happiness live. The more we are united with the energy-intelligence within, the more we anchor our ability to cope easily and healthfully with life’s inevitable changes and challenges. It is here that we realize our oneness with all life, discover our life purpose and begin to act from a more loving, harmonious and balanced state.

It takes energy and effort to be happy, and the choice as well as the responsibility is unequivocally ours. Instead of taking the line of least resistance, we owe it to ourselves, others and the world to design our own unique handbook to happiness.

Here are the affirmations I repeat each night before I go to sleep: I name everything that happened this day Good. I know that I draw to me only the people and experiences I need to become a conscious, aware human being. I give thanks for this day, knowing that it is the first day of the best years of my life. And So It Is!
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Copyright 2008 by Fern Stewart Welch

The author’s book THE HEART KNOWS THE WAY—How to Follow Your Heart to a Conscious Connection with the Divine Spirit Within is available at Amazon.com and other online booksellers, as well as through major bookstores such as Barnes & Noble and Borders.